Sunday Stealing: Have Yous and What Ifs

Rarara, Sunday stealing :-)

1.       Have you anything to confess today?

Actually, yes.  I had foot surgery on Wednesday.  The doctor suggested I take two full weeks off from work, and I was like, “Naaaaaaaah.”  This was especially true because I scheduled the surgery so much of that time was incorporated into Thanksgiving break. 

In other words, I’m going back to work tomorrow and Tuesday, then I am off Wednesday until Sunday.

I have to confess, I wish I’d listened to the doctor.  I am still extremely uncomfortable if I’m not sitting down elevating with a bag of frozen peas on my foot.  Realistically speaking, I am not going to be able to sit, elevate, and ice at work.  This could cause backward progress (which I’d be pretty upset about since I’ve actually been good about sitting and elevating and icing, which is so not my style).

I’m sure I’ll be glad once I get to work (after my clearance appointment tomorrow morning), but I  must confess that I regret my stubborn nature and arrogant tendencies that led me to be confident in returning to work despite the doctor’s recommendation.

It’s going to be a tough couple of days …

2.       Have you ever broken a law? If so, what was it?

I’ve no doubt broken the law before.  It wasn’t anything egregious enough that I was a) caught or b) feel guilty enough to confess it now.  Standard college student stuff.  Maybe taking a road sign or two.  Nothing that sounds remotely significant to who I am today.

3.       Have you ever committed an act of betrayal against a friend or family member? Explain.

Yes, who hasn’t? 

This meme is making me feel really guilty and remorseful of who I used to be.  I’m not that person anymore.  Betrayal—or at least intentional, knowing betrayal, even in the name of “I’m right and s/he is wrong” is a thing of the past for me.

4.       Has someone else done something that, to this day, makes you cringe when you think about them committing the act?

Yes.  I would say that lying to the medical staff at a hospital that just took your blood by swearing on your child’s life that you haven’t had anything to drink and then having your blood alcohol level come up at .39 is pretty pathetic.  The fact that this happened more than once (more than twice, in fact) does indeed make me cringe.  It makes me cry.  It makes me vomit. 

It makes me feel so sorry for you … the truth will set you free, but you will never truly understand that.

5. Have you ever found yourself sexually aroused by someone that you absolutely should not have been?

I think anyone that answers “no” to this question is lying.  Sexual arousal is a visceral thing that you really have no control over.  That being said, I’m not going to start listing midgets and magicians and stuff …

6. Have you ever cheated at school? How so?

I had a friend that went on to major in Latin in college.  I’m sure I utilized her (and her homework) more than was healthy according to the academic honesty charter. 

Otherwise, though, no … I find cheating abhorrent.  The fact that kids today are able to do it frequently and pretty much without consequence has really gotten me rethinking my career, in fact. 

I have serious procrastination issues, so I had to get to the point where I was willing and able to work all night to get work I’d put off done, but I figured it out eventually.  Failing Algebra I and having to go to summer school was also something of a wake-up call.

7. What if you came across a backpack stuffed with one hundred thousand dollars. Would you keep it?

I’m one of those schmucks that would bring it to the police station.  Yes, I’m serious.  No, I wouldn’t take any.  I would hope that the owner was located and would want to give me a reward, but my luck as such that this would probably not happen.

It would make a hell of a story, though ;-)

8. What if you were the most powerful person in the world. How would you use that power?

I would rid the world of assholes.  It would take care of the population problem and make the world a better place.

9. What if you found a magic lamp?

I would be unable to resist the urge to rub it.  I mean, there has to be something to the myth, right?

10. What if you could change one thing about the world. What would that one thing be?

I would make it impossible for assholes to be successful.  Have you ever noticed that, by and large, people in positions of power are complete bullies?  It’s criminal …  My mother always says, “The pendulum swings” and that, in this day and age, nobody with a heart and strong morals would be willing to take on the responsibility of power when everything is so powered by political correctness.  Changing the rules for people based on who they are, however, is wrong.  Period.  This is especially true when you would totally nail someone else to the wall for the same thing.  Hypocrisy, lies, incompetence … the world is permeated with them, and it needs to change.    

I've adopted a "pay it forward" approach.  I'm not sure if I'll reap the benefits personally, but I've certainly benefited from the act of giving :-)

11. What if you could take one thing back. What would that one thing be?

As hard as this is to say, I would take nothing back.  Everything that happens to you—the good, the bad, and the ugly—give you character and shape who you are.  Giving that up would change the essence of who you are…

12. What if you were stuck on an island forever but had all the water, food and shelter you needed. What would you do?

I’d think a lot.  And figure out how to make paper and a writing implement. 

13. What if the internet didn't exist?

I go through phases where I can’t get enough of the internet, and other times when I don’t even use it at all.  A couple of months ago, I would have died without the internet.  This week, I’m seriously contemplating giving my iPhone to my mother and picking up one of the old flip phones circa early 2000s.

14. What if you never started blogging?

I’d have a lot fewer friends on Facebook ;-p

Nah, seriously, I would have missed out on knowing some incredible people.  I would also not be as strong a writer as I am … the practice and the authentic audience and being able to interact with people on their own blogs is just an incredible experience.

I love you all <3 o:p="o:p">

15. What are your November 22 Thanksgiving plans?

I am still going to be recuperating from my foot surgery, so I’ll be sitting on my derriere, elevating, and icing.  I’ve been charged with peeling potatoes. 

We are having approximately twenty people over.  Eating a turkey raised by one of my students.  Having steak on the grill for those of us that don’t like turkey.  Lots of people.  Lots of pie.

We’re playing Apples to Apples.  It should be a blast J

Sunday Stealing: The 20 Questions of Doom Meme

1. Do you believe in Heaven?
II try to, because the alternative (that people just molder in caskets and become worm food) is not a happy thought.

2. Have you ever come close to dying? 
Yup, several times.  Ruptured appendix, internal bleeding following an ERCP, one bout of acute pancreatitis that left me in a medically-induced coma for almost a month.


Oh, and I almost died today at the horror of having to force my child into a nightmarish situation.  Some people should seriously just be shot ...

3. What jewelery do you wear 24/7? Diamond earrings (because otherwise I'd lose them), mother ring


4. Would you ever consider having plastic surgery? Nah ... after all the medical drama I've had to contend with, I'd never get any sort of elective surgery.


5. What do you wear to bed? Pajama pants and a t-shirt.


6. Have you ever done anything illegal? Oh, dear God ...


7. Who was the last person that you touched? 
My little Belle <3


8. Where did you eat last? 
Home.  Hannaford's make these seasoned hamburger patties that are just orgasmic ;-)


9. Besides your own blog, are there any that you routinely read but never comment on? I read so many blogs that it would be impossible to list them all here.  I go through spurts where I have time to comment ... wish it could happen more often.


10. Ever been involved with the police? 
Yup, as both a "criminal" (as one example, I called a cop stupid for telling me I was speeding in a school zone when the sign clearly said "20 when blinking", and besides, it was a Saturday...great lesson in the difference between being right and being smart) and as a victim (as one example, I spent time on the phone with the 911 operator for some time while Pythagorus was on a drunken rampage ... and I was holding Belle at the time ... it was a freaking nightmare)


11. Do you talk in your sleep? 
God, I hope not ;-)


12. Now a celebrity fantasy. Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend? 
I'm not in the mood to think in this direction.  I've had a very bad day :-(


13. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life? 
Yes, absolutely.  I've raised two amazing daughters who anybody would be proud to lay claim to (and in less than ideal circumstances), and I've also been a teacher, mentor, and life coach to a multitude of students.  I'm pretty sure my funeral would be well-attended, and I guess that says a lot.


14. Where do you wish you were? 
I really don't care.  Did I mention that I'm in a foul mood?


15. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Actually, no.


16. Is there any type of dancing that you love to do?
I don't dance.  Well, let me rephrase that ... I can't dance ;-)


17. Last gift you received? 
Belle made me a bunch of stuff for Mother's Day.  I'm allegedly very hard to find gifts for ...


18. Last sport you played? 
Basketball :-)  I'm quite a liability, though, being 5'2" and all.


19. Last place you went on holiday? 
New York City.


20. Current Song? 
I'm not listening to anything right now.  When I'm in a foul mood, I tend to avoid music because I'm one of those people that puts connotations with songs.

I'm in a Meme Mood, so Here's Saturday 9

I've been slacking at blogging of late in large part because of the end-of-the-school-year crunch. Although I've already posted today (a compelling piece on the prevalence of tears at graduations), I'm in the mood to do a meme.

Fortunately, my good bud, Bud, has satiated my need (and kept me from having to wait until tomorrow's Sunday Stealing) by offering his Saturday 9.

Also, it's quite possible that I'm procrastinating writing exams ;-)

1. What is the craziest thing you've done in the last year?
One of the drawbacks to being a teacher is that you can't really get into the crazy stuff you might hypothetically have done in a quasi-public forum. I'll leave out any sort of calisthenics in a two seater sports car out of it and instead go with doing karaoke to Natalie Imbruglia ;-) Of course, the fact that I teach middle school means that my entire life is crazy ...

2. What is something that you've lost recently?
A rough draft analysis essay written by one of my students. Despite my disorganization and the fact that my desk is pretty much a landmark because it's piled high with random papers and such, I take great pride in not losing student work. This is a first, and I'm sick over it (and of course it's a wonderful kid who worked incredibly hard on the essay ... I officially suck).

3. Where does your patience suffer the most?
I hate hypocrites. And liars. And unprofessional jerks. Put the three together into one person, and you'll understand why my hair is going gray this year.

4. Have you ever reread a book?
All the time. Books are magical in that, although the words on the pages don't change a bit, the experience is completely different based on where you are at in your life, the mood you're in when you read it, new background knowledge you've obtained since the last reading, and so on.

5. What is a TV show that you absolutely HATE to miss?
I don't love TV. I can't think of a show I'd hate to miss, but if I had to choose one it'd be NCIS.

6. How old do you wish you were?
I'm actually pretty good with being 34, much as I complain about it at times. I'm old enough to have gained quite a bit of wisdom about how the world works and young enough to enjoy pretty much everything.

7. Do you know your neighbors?
Actually, I don't. I know their cat, though. Grrrrrrr. Seriously, though, the combination of a fair amount of acreage and being located on a busy road isn't conducive to the neighbory kind of thing.

8. Do you believe that opposites attract?
Have I dated people a lot like myself (well, as much as that's possible ;-))? Yes. Have I dated people that could be considered my opposite? Yes. Am I currently single? Yes.

9. Who was the last person that made you laugh?
A very cool person ... and the context is something that is not typically laugh-worthy, so I guess he found out something very odd about me ;-)

Sunday Stealing: The Seriously Random Question Meme (Part I)

This week's Sunday Stealing offering is sold as the "seriously random question" meme. It seems to be seriously random in the direction of food, in my humble opinion, but maybe that's just me ;-)

1.Your ex's car is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do?
I would pull over, call 911, see if anyone was trapped inside, and do whatever I could to help. No matter how bad a situation with an ex might be, nobody deserves to be trapped in a car on fire. Ignoring it, taking a picture and posting it on Facebook, screaming about karma being a bitch … those might be tempting, but as far as I’m concerned, life’s too short to sink down that low.

2. Your best friend tells you she is pregnant. What is your reaction?
“If you’re happy, I’m happy. If you’re not, I’m here to help you process. If you need anything, let me know.”

3. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
I’m non-violent, so face-punching isn’t really a viable option for me. I’ve gotten really annoyed with some people at work lately over turning my workplace into a soap opera (it’s sad when adults start spreading gossip around worse than the middle schoolers do), and we’re currently driving home from my nephew’s birthday party (a three-hour drive), and Addie keeps announcing updates on her Sims characters which is for some reason getting on my nerves like you cannot imagine. Hotspotting my Droid is indeed a mixed blessing ;-)

4. What is the last thing you spent money on?
I bought pretzels for the girls, my mothers, and I during a rest stop on the drive down to Connecticut.

5. Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month?
Gained, sadly. A combination of increased Millky Way consumption and not really being able to exercise for medical reasons has not been a good thing.

6. Crunchy or Puffy Cheetos?
Crunchy. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I’m a huge fan of Cheetos, orange fingers and all.

7. The first person on your friends list just called you a bitch. What do you do?
Laugh? I don’t know, it’s all about the context … and I can’t imagine a context that I wouldn’t find at least mildly entertaining. Anyway, I am not a bitch … I am many things, not all of them good, but I would not take a bitch accusation seriously since it is so far off the mark. Furthermore, I don’t think I have any sort of “friends list” … wasn’t that a MySpace thing?

8. Congratulations! You just had a son. What’s his name?
Atticus, Holden, or Rhett.

9. Congratulations! You just had a daughter. What’s her name?
Tess, Elphaba, or Eilonwy.

10. What are you craving right now?
A margarita. Will this car ride never end?

11. What was the last thing you cried about?
My back hurting … I’m becoming a real wimp about pain.

12. When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it?
I put it in the little “have a penny, leave one, need a penny, take one” box.

13. What color is your tissue box?
I don’t have a clue. Do people actually pay attention to stuff like that?

14. Do you have a ceiling fan in your bedroom, and if so, is there dust on that fan?
Hahahahahahahahaha. I live in the attic of a barn. It is freezing cold in the winter and sweltering hot in the summer. There is no ceiling fan. There’s plenty of dust, though …

15. What was the last voicemail you received about?
An old friend calling to say hi. I have a boring life ;-)

16. Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook?
Nope, nor have I ever unfriended anyone. I’ve turned down people asking to be friends on Facebook (mostly students … they do not seem to listen when I tell them that I cannot be Facebook friends with them), but I’ve never blocked anybody.

17. Scariest thing you’ve experienced in the last year?
Since Addie got her license, I make her text me right before she leaves and as soon as she reaches her destination. Overprotective, I know, but I am a worrier. Addie had a concert at school, and she left an hour before my mother, Belle, and I did. I didn’t receive a “Made it” text from her, and I was absolutely hysterical. I tried to call her, but she wasn’t answering her cell, and I didn’t hear back from her when I texted her frantically.

The period of time when I didn’t know where she was … it was horrible. Addie is in general a really responsible kid, and she was (and still is) religious about texting. I was utterly convinced that something unspeakable had happened to her because it was so unlike her not to text.

When we got to the concert, she was sitting in front of the stage with the rest of the band, and I went charging down there and went totally nuclear on her—demanding her car keys and so forth. She was mortified, and the worst part was, she had texted me … she showed me on her phone. It just happened to catch that little cell hiccup that happens occasionally, so it didn’t get delivered to my phone for several hours.

I felt like the biggest jerk in the world.

18. Do you wear a name tag at work?
Nope :-) I’ve worked at schools that required staff photo badges, and it’s such a relief to have gotten away from that. It’d be silly, actually … there are fewer than 300 students in my school, so trust me, everyone knows everyone else without a name tag.

19. What kind of car do you want?
A Jeep Wrangler.

20. What do you order when you go to Burger King?
A Whopper with cheese. I am usually pre-menstrual to the extreme when I get the BK urge, so I figure why mess around?

Sunday Stealing: "You Can't Be Missed" (Part 3)

Here's the third part to "You Can't Be Missed" Meme. Go, Sunday Stealing :-)


Sunday Stealing: The "You Can't Be Missed" Meme, Part 3

31. What is your absolute favorite dessert?
I love cupcakes (which is a little strange since I don't like cake at all ...) and my mother's apple pie (commence with the jokes, but let me tell you, that stuff is amazing!)

32. What can someone do to make you smile, no matter what?
I was going to put, "I'm pretty easy" but then thought better of it. Regarding smiles, it's true, though. I laugh very easily, and smiling is just a precursor to laughter, right?

33. What do the hip people think of you?
I can't answer a question that uses the word "hip", one of the many reasons being that I now have a certain Huey Lewis song stuck in my head ...

34. What was the last gift you bought someone?
Well, I bought my kids take-out from Applebee's for dinner last night and candy bars the night before (they really are well-nourished ... it's just been one of those lazy weekends), but the last, like, legit gift I bought someone was my mommy for Mother's Day.

35. What was your favorite class in high school?
English is the obvious answer, but actually the best class I took was the second part of American History and Government. The teacher was amazing, plus he was on to me. He was the first person to ever say, "You can't write your way out of this one." He refused to accept one of my research papers because it wasn't "good enough". I pointed out that it was better than a couple of others I'd read, and he agreed ... then said, "It isn't good enough for you." That was a lesson that stayed with me.

36. How many spouses would be about right?
I'd be happy with one, as long as he was normal.

37. What would you say was the most embarrassing moment of your life?
You know, this is a hard one to answer. I'm extremely accident-prone, so walking out of the bathroom with my dress tucked into my underwear or tripping while getting from Point A to Point B is pretty much a daily occurrence. I guess the one that comes to mind is when I fell down the stairs at a friend's wedding. Yes, I had a dress on. Yes, it went flying up. The worst part was that it was right before the ceremony started, so everybody was there, and I couldn't even blame it on alcohol.

38. Have you ever donated money to charity?
Yes, most often in the form of lunch money given to kids who need it or paying for a student to go on a field trip or for them to have a yearbook or something like that.

39. Has porn ever had a positive place in a current or recent relationship?
I am completely ambivalent about porn. It doesn't do much for me, but I don't have a problem with people who are into it.

40. Would you ever dump the one you're with for someone who makes an obvious play and is MUCH hotter?
Not at this stage of my life. Right now, "hot" has ceased to be a deciding factor ... I'd settle for nice and normal ... anybody have any nice single friends ;-)?

41. Have you ever disowned one of your relatives?
Not officially ;-) Seriously, I've gone through times when it was healthier not to talk with certain family members because I've been afraid of what I would say. It's always worked out eventually.

42. Would you think it's OK to cheat on someone if they've already cheated on you?
Cheating is never okay. EVER. If you're a swinger or a polygamist or something, that's a different conversation, but the idea of betraying someone's trust by cheating? Not cool.

43. Did you ever consider becoming a teacher?
Nope, never :-) Actually, I've always wanted to be a writer ... teaching kind of came up when I realized that majoring in English isn't good for much else.

44. Would you ever give a hitch-hiker a ride somewhere?
It's so funny that this question is here since I was just telling someone this story recently. Okay, so I was with my friend Chuck and we were on our way back to college (about an hour and a half on the highway) when the car died. This was before the days of everyone having a cell phone, and we weren't able to reach anybody via pay phone, so ... we started walking.

After a couple of hours, we started walking with our thumbs out. After another hour or so, we made a pact that, if we got picked up, we would thereafter always pick up any hitchhiker we saw. Eventually, someone gave us a ride, and life went on.

A few weeks later, Chuck and I were going somewhere (in my car this time), and we started approaching a hitchhiker. I felt an obligation to fulfill my pact (plus, Chuck was a really big guy), so I pulled over. The guy looked pretty sketchy, and I muttered to Chuck that he looked like he'd just gotten out of jail.

The guy gets in closes the door, tells us where he wants to go, and then says, "Just got out of county," gesturing to the county jail we'd just driven past.

I was torn between trying not to laugh and being scared to death.

Well, it worked out fine and we gave him a ride to the next main road, but Chuck and I agreed to dissolve our pact.

45. Would you ever try fasting for a whole week?
Well, only if there was a very compelling reason. I wouldn't try it just to try it.

Sunday Stealing: The "You Can't Be Missed" Meme (Part 2)

I love Sunday Stealing ... lots of fun, lots of opportunity to find out interesting stuff about others, and ... uh, did I mention fun ;-)?

The "You Can't Be Missed" Meme (Part 2)

16. What was the last thing you did that was totally selfish, yet you feel no guilt?
You know, I can't think of anything selfish I've done in recent memory for which I feel no guilt. That's not to say that I'm unselfish ... I'm just also carrying around quite a guilty conscience, I guess ;-) Actually, I kicked Belle off of the good TV so I could watch last week's NCIS episode on XFinity this afternoon. Now that I think about it, I don't even feel that badly about it ... Hmm, maybe not as guilty a conscience as I thought.

17. Tell us about a film fave of yours that we probably have not seen.
The Legend of Billie Jean. I LOVED that movie when I was a kid ... I kept track of how many times I'd seen it (ended up being over 200), could recite the whole thing, it was just oddball obsession. It's not even that good a film ...

18. When was the last time you kissed someone that you shouldn't have on the lips?
Hmmm...January or February, whenever I went to Burlington.

19. When was the last time you cooked something for someone not in your family?
The Sunshine Committee at my work (yes, of course I'm a member of the Sunshine Committee :-)) had a "pre-vacay buffet" the Friday before April vacation. My mom made a breakfast casserole for it, and I helped a little ... I cracked the eggs, did the stirring, put on the bacon, and I think she did everything else.

20. When was the last time you danced like a crazy person?
Friday night. I think. I don't remember much about Friday night. I do know I did karaoke (badly) because one of my friends took a video of the event on my Droid. Anyway, karaoke usually goes hand in hand with dancing like a crazy person in my world.

21. When was the last time you just wanted to be invisible?
Saturday morning. I couldn't stop throwing up and I had to go to a meeting and every time I ate or drank anything (including coffee) I had to go running for the bathroom. It was pretty horrible.

22. When was the last time you got a gift you absolutely hated?
I don't get a lot of gifts, actually, in large part because my family opines that I'm hard to buy gifts for. Anyway, I would never hate a gift that someone went out of their way to get for me ... that would just be in bad taste. Dislike, maybe ... okay, my mother got me a leather journal the last time she went to Italy. I'm not a leather journal person. I'm not a journal person period. I'm not a longhand person. And I feel tremendous guilt every time I see that journal that I'm never going to use yet cannot throw away or give away because I know my mom's heart was in the right place ... gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.


23. When was the last time you got into a physical fight? (If NEVER, let us know about a time that you got close to a fight.)
Does "physical fight" means either getting beaten up on by your ex-husband or getting in between two brawling teenagers? If not, I haven't been in a physical fight since high school.

24. When was the last time you had to sleep with a light on?
Well, since Belle sleeps in my room most of the time and she needs the light on to sleep, it's pretty much a constant thing.

25. When was the last time you were under some serious stress?
April vacation. I'm going to choose not to elaborate.

26. When was the last time you watched your favorite movie?
I don't really have a favorite movie, so to speak, just a large body of films that I adore. I don't watch movies anywhere near as much as I used to ... I need to work on that : )

27. What song did you most recently download?
"Alejandro" by Lady Gaga. Please don't judge.

28. What would you say is your favorite hobby?
Writing.

29. What is your favorite thing to do when you hang out with friends?
Laugh, talk, go to interesting places and do interesting things.

30. What would you rather do: shower or bathe with that celebrity that you are crushing on?
Shower, of course ;-)

The Infamous Promised Meme

Well, my life just gets more and more interesting ;-)  Another pancreatitis flare-up, having surgery on Tuesday, and just in general exhausted and continued overextended.

But I'm here now to post the odd collection of questions put together by my readers ... I had lots of fun with this :-)  Hope you enjoy!

(Oh, and there are some questions that were really not meant to be included here, but I felt inclined to include them anyway, just because they were either an interesting challenge to write about or made me think a lot ... or both)

1. Is there something most people find funny that you absolutely do not? (from David Batista)
Actually, there's quite a bit of stuff that evidently goes over my sense of humor ;)  I know I'm going to take some heat for this one, but I'm kind of lukewarm on Saturday Night Live (yes, even the older ones).  Parts of every show are LOL funny, but I've always wondered how people can sit at home and watch marathons.

Also, I tend not to laugh at the misfortune of others.  I know that sounds kind of "preachy" and I'm definitely not like that and would never judge anyone for finding a guy getting hit in the genitalia by a golf ball funny or chuckling when a baby bird is trying to get out of an egg and gets stuck instead.  A lot of people tend to laugh at those moments.  I don't.

2. What do you find funny that most people don't? (from Jane)
I find humor everywhere and will randomly just break out laughing.  I think it's because my brain connects odd things together, I don't know.  Here's an example.  Belle and I have a tollbooth game we play, where we have to guess the gender of the tollbooth attendant before reaching the booth (this is honestly why I haven't switched over to EZPass like the rest of the world).  She always guesses boy, leaving me with  girl (and there are a lot more men than women at the tollbooth we frequent).  We were driving home the other night after picking Addie up from practice, and Belle shockingly announced that she was "calling" boy and "Mommy, you have girl, and Addie, you have basket."  We got to the tollbooth, and honestly, the person at the tollbooth was so androgynous that I couldn't definitively say which gender it was.  I'm not one to judge somebody on appearances, but I was laughing so hard I cried when, as we drove off, Belle said, "So ... who won?"

Or Addie got hit in the nose with a flag during winterguard rehearsal, and it was pretty ugly.  While at the ER, we nearly lost it over the fact that the doctor's name was (honestly) John Smith.  And there was a drawer containing a label that said "TAMPONS PLEASE SCAN" (yes, I took a picture ... if anyone ever stole my phone, they would think that the owner was completely nuts based on the pics).  Needless to say, I'm surprised Addie and I didn't get kicked out of the hospital for laughing as we tried to figure out what in the world "TAMPONS PLEASE SCAN" might mean.

So I guess I take the time to find life funny, which is a little rare (I honestly don't think many people would notice the little "TAMPONS PLEASE SCAN" label) :-)


3.  If you could go back and do a romantic relationship over, with a different outcome, would you? (from J.J. in L.A.)
No.

This was a hard one, actually.  I went through the whole stupid laundry list and contemplated briefly what I could have done differently and so on, but ultimately I realized that, no matter how hard and unpleasant and oddly twisted some of my romantic relationships have been, they have played a role in shaping who I am today.

And I'm starting to become pretty fond of who I am today.

4. What do you hate being asked? (from Martin Willoughby)
It's funny, I don't really mind being asked anything by complete strangers, but I get really annoyed when some of my relatives want to go on and on about the situation with Pythagorus.  "Why do you think he started drinking, Katie?"  "Can you believe that someone could change so much?" "Do you think he'll ever stop drinking?" "What could you have done differently?" "What is Pythagorus up to these days?"

I do not want to talk about Pythagorus with people that want to have the "before alcoholism" and "after alcoholism" conversation.  It's pointless.  I spent probably a year of my life keeping myself awake with these questions, and to have people ask me them--like, when I make it pretty clear that I do not want to talk about this--really irks me.

5. What is the funniest thing you ever did in front of your class? Was it planned or not? (from septembermom)
This cracked me up because I was voted "Funniest Teacher" in the yearbook superlatives section for this year ... and I never plan to be funny, it evidently just sort of happens.

My mouth has a tendency to work a lot faster than my brain, and my brain at times has a bit of a delay.  As an example, on my first day with a group of ninth graders five or six years ago, we were in a circle talking about the highlight of our summer.  There's an educational philosopher named Harry Wong, and I went on and on about how amazing Harry Wong was and how I wished I could spend more time with him after meeting him briefly and concluding with, "I think it's safe to say that I love Harry Wong" ... and having no idea why the kids were laughing so hard.

Then there was the day I was teaching the plot triangle.  I drew it on the board, talked about exposition, rising action, and climax, then asked, "What comes after the climax?" and an eighth grader raised his hand and said, "A cigarette."

And of course there was the infamous three-legged Romeo incident. I am the worst artist in the world, but visualization is something that kids today struggle with ... they are so used to movie adaptations that I sometimes think they are unable to come up with their own "mind movies".

Anyway, I was teaching Romeo and Juliet and talking about how the balcony scene, which has a reputation for being so romantic and stuff, is really very creepy. I drew Juliet on her balcony and Romeo hiding in the bushes in full peeping Tom mode checking her out, listening to her speak. But I drew Romeo as a stick figure ... and he appeared to have a third leg that could be interpreted a certain way given the context.

I could go on for hours ... something funny happens in my classroom at least once a day :-)

6. Who cares how many pickles Peter picked? (from Bud Weiser, WTIT)
I don't care a bit, as long as he keeps them far away from me ... I hate pickles.

7. Can you allow yourself to believe in love and trust? (from France Rants)
At this point in my life, nope. I hope it changes, though, I honestly do. I truly believe in the whole "happily ever after" dream and wish more than anything that it was a reality in my future. Time will tell, I guess.

8. From where your internal power comes from? (from getyourselfconnected)
I've been knocked to the ground a time or seven through some pretty unspeakable events. I think at some point, you have to make a choice on whether you want to stay on the ground and feel sorry for yourself or if you want to stand up and, yeah, risk getting knocked down again ... but being fully aware of all the beauty and goodness and laughter and living you'll miss out on if you lay "safe" on the ground curled in a fetal position. I did that for awhile, and knowing how amazing life can be has allowed me to get back up.

9. If you HAD to do it, what color would you dye your hair? (from Alleged Author)
I'd probably just dye it the same shade of dark brown it currently is, which might be happening soon because the grays are starting to really creep in. I wouldn't look good blonde or black-haired because of my coloring. I might go with green or purple or bright red as long as it was only temporary.

10. Which deceased author would you want to meet either in heaven or hell? (another one from Martin)
I would love to meet Shakespeare to find out if he really wrote the vast body of literature that is attributed to him. It is work that has brought me a great deal of pleasure as both a student, a teacher, and a human being, so talking about the universality of his works with the bard himself would be cool.

I'd also love to have a sit-down with J.D. Salinger ...

11. If you were on a desert island, would you prefer to have music only or books only? (And another from septembermom)
Wow, that's almost impossible to answer ... probably music, actually, which is surprising me (I made a list, haha). The thing is, books are only accessible when there is light to read by and, even though I'm a proponent of rereading, I personally read so quickly and voraciously that it'd be hard to keep me stocked in reading material on a desert island ... Music tells its own story and can be a constant source of comfort and light.

12. How was your weekend in Vermont? (from Marvin the Martian)
It was pretty fun ... way too much on my mind as a result, but what else is new, right?

I did walk the streets in a blizzard, and it was like being inside of a snow globe ... one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. The company I was with thought I was odd, I think, because I'd forgotten my jacket at home (I'm pretty dumb sometimes) but still wanted to frolic in the snow.

13. Who played Wally on Leave It to Beaver ;-)? (from Mac)

Tony Dow, natch ;-) (I am a fountain of useless information)

Contribute Questions to The No-Holds-Barred Meme Here!

I am going to Vermont with some friends for the weekend. I'm pretty pumped, to say the least. We're supposed to be getting more snow--can you believe it????--so I'm leaving nice and early.

Anyway, I'm kind of excited about collaborating your questions for what I'm referring to as "The Patchwork Meme", also known as the no holds barred question collection, also known as the 100% honest guarantee, also known as ...

Well. It should be interesting.

These are the questions that exist thus far, but please feel free to add more in the comments or via e-mail. Bring 'em on ... the more questions, the more interesting this shall be : )

* Is there something most people find funny that you absolutely do not? (from David Batista)

* What do you find funny that most people don't? (from Jane)

* If you could go back and do a romantic relationship over, with a different outcome, would you? (from J.J. in L.A.)

* What do you hate being asked? (from Martin Willoughby)

* What is the funniest thing you ever did in front of your class? Was it planned or not? (from septembermom)

* Who cares how many pickles Peter picked? (from Bud Weiser, WTIT)

* Can you allow yourself to believe in love and trust? (from France Rants)

Part I of the Ace Meme, Which Proves My Ineptitude at Math ... And An Offer for Y'All

Yes, I did Part II of the Ace Meme from Sunday Stealing on Monday. Yes, this is Part I. No, I'm not good at math ;). But David Batista of The Bimillennial Man posted Part I of this surprisingly interesting and telling meme, so I figured I'd do the same (the fact that I've already done Part II notwithstanding ;)).

Before I get down to it, though, I want to make an offer. I love memes, but I find that some of the questions are limiting or irrelevant to the poster or whatev. So I am planning on making a meme made up of questions that come from Y'ALL :-) Yup, leave questions in the comments or send an e-mail, and I will answer them in a weekend post. Nothing is off limits (*gulp*), and you'll have my 100% honesty in terms of replies and thoughts.

Anyway, back to The Ace Meme Part I ...

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I had my appendix out when I was in second grade, a little two-inch slit on my lower right abdomen. Appendectomy scars are interesting because you can see in this fairly common surgery the advances in surgical practices over time. My aunt had her appendix out as a child, and her scar is easily three or four times the size of mine. When I had my gall bladder out in my mid-twenties, it was done laproscopically, and the scars are minuscule and almost impossible to see unless you're looking ... I guess most appendectomies are done that way nowadays.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM
I sleep in the attic of a barn, shared with a seven year old (Addie has a room in the main part of the house, and it looks like my mother is planning on converting the guest room into a bedroom for Belle). There is nothing on my walls. The barn beams are beautiful, though ;)


3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
Not that I know of :-)


4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Anything (from rock to Irish folk and everything in between) but country and rap that exists just for shock value and to see how many superfluous swears you can fit into one song. I love rappers like Tupac Shakur and Eminem, for example, because their songs have far deeper meanings underneath the cursing.


5. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
7:30 a.m. So was my momma, and Addie was born at 8:30 a.m.


6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
It's far too complicated to explain on a meme ;)


7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
I miss the family members that are no longer here ... and the many and varied traditions that existed because of them which no longer take place.


8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
Other than my children, probably my Droid :-)


9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5'2". Most of my students are taller than me. In fact, it's kind of a rite of passage to become taller than Ms. Loud.


10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Kind of. I have some control issues (it's why I'm scared to death of flying), and if I feel trapped, whether by closed walls or by having to trust some random pilot to fly carefully, I get incredibly upset.


11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
No, but I do get bored in the dark. I have quite a bit of trouble with insomnia, and I've spent a lot of nights in the dark trying desperately to fall asleep. I usually end up falling asleep with the light on only because when I put out the light, I wake up. But scared? Nope.


12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
You know, I don't know. Isn't that weird?


13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Snakes.


14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON PEOPLE YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
I'm don't usually judge on hair color, but I do have a thing for dark brown eyes.


15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
I'm a girl, I don't propose, I dispose ;) (just kidding ... I really don't have a clue)


16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I must keep Dunkin' Donuts in business with my coffee addiction.


17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Cheese. I'm rather dull ;)


18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
My mom just made a delicious breakfast casserole (eggs, cheese, a little bit of bacon, croutons, chopped tomatoes, onion, and green pepper), so I'm way too full to think about eating at the moment. I never say no to a lobster roll, though.


19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Red :-) I think it has to do with that Scorpio thing ...


20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
That's horrible! Never!


21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
My parents got me a gorgeous Seiko watch for my high school graduation. It was the first "grown-up" present I received, and I will always remember it.


22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
A real life crush? Nope. I do enjoy Ben Affleck and Mark Harmon and Charlie Sheen (I know, it's that "bad boy" thing left over from my flaming youth) and Seth Rogan.


23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Nope ... I can do a split, though :)


24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I'm kind of impartial. I went through the whole "material girl" phase, and now I'm just sort of like, eh, whatever.


25. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?
I love Angelina Jolie. She's very real, is honest about her flaws, is an incredibly gifted actress (seriously, check out Girl, Interrupted), and walks the humanitarian walk instead of just talking the talk or donating money or whatever.


26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Yup, two.


27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Dogs, a black lab and a golden retriever. Love them :-)


28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
I'm not sure I believe in falling in love ... but assuming that it is possible, yes, I would. Life experiences aside, I very much want to believe in love.


30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED?
Nineteen. (I'm suppressing the urge to yell, "69, dude", a la Bill and Ted.


31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunettes. There seem to be some many different shades of "brunette". Addie's hair is a beautiful color, somewhere between blonde and brown, and it's got shades of everything in it ... I could never get tired of looking at her hair (Belle's, like, white-blonde almost, but I assume it will darken because her father and I both have very dark hair).


32. FAVORITE QUOTE?
"We are all terminal cases." --John Irving

33. FAVORITE PLACE?
Hampton Beach :-)

Sunday Stealing: A Fourteen Question Meme That's Making the Rounds ;-)

You do find some odd things out there when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night ... check out "Sunday Stealing" here for a thorough explanation (or to join the fun ;-)).

1. What do you consider your hometown to be?
Dover, New Hampshire. I lived there for most of my life, and I hope to return there sooner rather than later.

2. What’s the hardest part of your average day?
Waking up in the morning. I have extensive fogginess (and a lack of ability to do anything, pretty much) until at least the second cup of coffee. This has been exacerbated lately by the alarm on my new phone, which I can't get to make noise. It just vibrates annoyingly, then the 3/4 asleep me turns it off, and then ... well, yeah, you can see where that goes.

3. The easiest? Why?
Doing Belle's nightly reading with her, an activity that gives both of us a great deal of pleasure. Observing a six-year-old develop as a reader is cool enough, but being part of it? Freaking amazing :-) We have it down to a pretty cool science now ... she'll read a couple of books to me (her teacher sends her home with a "just right" book for her reading level every night or she'll read her library book or grab one from her bookshelf), then I'll read the next section of the chapter book we're working on (it's James and the Giant Peach at the moment).

4. What beverage do you reach for to quench your thirst?
Barq's root beer.

5. What is one not-so-secret goal you have for your life? I’ll let you keep your secret ones to yourself.
To be a published novelist.

6. What physical pain do you fear most? For example, I’m trying to decide how bad my jaw pain needs to get before I risk a potential needle from my dentist. So, for me, throbbing is preferable to jabbing.
I fear pancreatitis pain, which is rather unfortunate since I'm having a pancreatitis flare-up at the moment. I've had root canals, a tonsillectomy, a broken wrist, a ruptured appendix, two childbirth experiences, and a lot of other things I can't think of right now ... but none of them came remotely close to pancreatitis. At all.

7. Where do you find solace?
Writing, reading, or walking on the beach.

8. What makes you the saddest when you read/see the news?
I'm saddened by violence (recently the Steven Spader trial in New Hampshire) and by ignorance (the crazy woman who somehow thinks her husband's suspicious death IN MEXICO reflects on Barack Obama's immigration policy, for example, or the Tea Party).

9. What do you eat for a favorite snack?
Clementine oranges ... or Cheetos lol.

10. What movie could you/would you watch more than two or three times and still enjoy just as much as the first time?
The Star Wars movies. It's a longtime addiction based in childhood that has always been with me.

11. What boy/girl first made you cry?
I'm going to take the easy route here and say my brother was the first boy to make me cry and my sister was the first girl to make me cry. Obviously I'm just pretending that my reading comprehension fails.

12. What brand of coffee/tea do you drink most often?
Dunkin' Donuts. If I don't have my Dunk's coffee every morning, the entire day is a nightmare.

13. Dig in the dirt with or without garden gloves?
Without ... I like the way that dirt feels and the things you notice that you never would if you were wearing gloves.

14. James Taylor or Carly Simon?
James Taylor (although I like Carly Simon too)