Cool Places to Hit on the Interwebs

I love (lovelovelove) reading blogs and sites that are many and varied, that work my mind and touch my heartstrings. Sometimes I connect on a visceral level, sometimes I disagree very much with the content but appreciate the different point of view, sometimes I'm overcome with beauty, and sometimes I appreciate the writing advice.

If I listed every place I visited on a regular basis, this post would be waaaaaaaaaaay too long. Therefore, I'm going to link to and explain a small sampling ... and I plan on doing this regularly to share the love (and thinking ... and beauty ... and so on).

These are places that I find memorable. There are many (many, many, many) other places that will be listed on subsequent posts. Check them out if you get a chance ... thinking is always a good thing :-)

365 Days of Weird Happenings
This is one of the most original sites I've seen in a long time. Anthonyox10 writes about odd things he sees, in life or on the interwebs, and shares with his readers. His take on the world is unique, and he's got a great eye for seeing the unusual. Lots of interesting stuff!

insert witty anecdote [here].
Before Sarah Taylor-Spangenberg became my boss :-), she was my friend (she still is ... LOVE that lady). This is the blog where I found her in my early days here on Blogger, and it's an amazing collection. She's recently started reposting here, and both her newest post and the older stuff there is worth a look.

Zelda Lily
Okay, perhaps I'm a bit biased because I write here, but this site has such a lot of really great stuff. Operating under the assumption that feminism doesn't have to be militant but can be embraced on a modern level through legitimate equality, there's a ton of current events as the commenters and writers alike work toward a definition of what feminism is in 2011. Amazing stuff!

mrs.nesbitt's space
Denise is amazing. Let me just say this--these are the words she puts at the top of her blog, and it explains far better than I could as to what the bottom line of her site is: "The happiest people don't have the best of everything, theyjust make the best of everything they have."

Got any very cool recommendations? Leave links in the comments ... I know that I, for one, would love to find some further cool places to visit and think about : )

I Am Hated (And Strangely Excited About It)

I don't think most people go through life intentionally pissing others off (there are, of course, exceptions, but in general I have a pretty Pollyanna-esque view of my fellow human beings). However, I think we all do it to some degree, often by accident or by thoughtless actions that blow into drama-filled chaos or even just by a misconstrued statement.

I never thought I'd be in the position of ticking off another person so badly that she felt compelled to write an entire blog post blasting me.

I also can't believe that I'm laughing about it. I'm ridiculously sensitive (to a fault, to be completely honest), and a lot of times the tiniest bit of criticism has me virtually in tears.

I've toughened up a lot in the past year, in large part because of the divorce situation but also through working at Zelda Lily. There is a great core group of readers over there that leave thought-provoking comments taking what my colleagues and I write to a whole new level--but I have been ripped a new one on more than one occasion.

To wit:

The author here is pretending her values are absolutes that everyone should abide by, and seems outraged that there are other people don’t share her values, to the point of degrading and mocking them. Why aren’t these women allowed to like their lifetyles, exactly? Is Katie Loud going to go on a Middle East tour and tear off burkas too?

I cried when I read that comment. Bawled like a baby. And then I realized that the commenter had a point. I might feel that he misconstrued my point (the piece was an admittedly hard slam of an extremely religious website that operates under the "Husband is Master ... and Wife's Job is to Cook, Clean, and Raise Perfect Children" philosophy), but if the message I was sending was that I felt like everybody should agree with me all the time, then shame on me. You know?

So instead of flying off the handle and doing something stupidly impulsive (See? I'm getting better ;-)), I thought really hard about what was said, wrote a piece here on my personal blog explaining my frustration with the challenges of balancing feminism with religion, and resolved to be more aware of all sides of a story in the future.

In retrospect, I'm glad that that comment was made, as painful as it was for me at the time. It was a tremendous learning experience for me both as a writer and as a human being.

It has also made me able to laugh--and laugh hard--at the recent incident that's really at the heart of this post.

So back in late May/early June, when I was still a newbie at Zelda Lily, I wrote a piece about an ad featuring a bra by plus-size store Lane Bryant being refused by a couple of news networks that went on to feature ads by Victoria's Secret.

Well, evidently I really pissed somebody off ... She wrote a vitriol-filled rant against me personally and the company I work for. My words and intentions are taken completely out of context for the purpose of her piece, and for the first time I feel like I am actively hated by someone that doesn't know me from Adam.

You can read her piece here, if you're interested.

I was really angry at first, actually. Then I reread my piece almost obsessively, and I of course knew what I was trying to say so her interpretation seemed even crazier to me.

And then it occurred to me how sad it is that someone has that much hate stored up from a piece posted on June 1 to let me have it with both barrels.

Then, of course, I just laughed.

The thing is, it's fine to disagree with people. I learn a hell of a lot from people that disagree with me (or play devil's advocate) since it makes me think on so many dimensions.

What's not cool is the meanness. The comment about "Katie Loud tearing off burkas on a Middle East tour" bordered on mean, but I could see where the guy was coming from when I put it into a greater context. Ultimately, it helped me a hundred times more than a compliment would have.

I'm not being mean here. I even linked to her post so she can get page hits.

I'm not used to being hated ... and I'm kind of proud of myself for 1) not going to pieces over this, and 2) realizing that I am not the one with a problem here.

On a different note, I had one of the most traumatic events of my life happen to me today, and I'll be blogging about it tomorrow. I'm not proud of my actions (mostly because there were no actions on my part ... I was, like, the anti-feminist, ashamed as I am to admit that), and I'm still too shaken up to write about it yet.

But it's quite a story!

10 Things

Carrie over at 2 Girls 2 Dogs 2 Cats posted a "10 Things" list, so I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon. I always enjoy reading these ... and I actually really enjoy writing them as well :-) Consider yourself tagged, if you want to make your own "10 Things" list ... leave a link to your blog in the comments.

I was going to just make a list of 10 random things, but I decided instead to list songs that make me think about things. It seems more interesting than "1. I have two dogs; 2. My favorite foods are cheeseburgers, lobster, and pizza" and so on. Not that I would have anyway, but ...

1. "My Own Worst Enemy" (Lit)
I've come to the conclusion that it is human nature to be your own worst enemy. Colleen McCullough ends The Thorn Birds, "The bird with a thorn in its breast, it follows an immutable law; it is driven by it knows not what to impale itself, and die singing. At the very instant the thorn enters there is no awareness in it of the dying to come; it simply sings and sings until there is not the life left to utter another note. But we, when we put the thorns in our breasts, we know. We understand. And still we do it. Still we do it." That says it all. (And, of course, there are many times I want to say, "Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?")

2. "Forgiven" (Alanis Morissette)
The concept of forgiveness is one I have long struggled with. Perhaps it's because of my Catholic upbringing, perhaps it's because I have much to atone for. I ponder sometimes on if forgiveness is even possible. I mean, no matter how much good you do, the bad is always there. There's nothing you can do about it, and there will always be a part of you that is being consumed by guilt ... and people to throw it in your face when you're least expecting it. Life is strange that way.

3. "Another Brick in the Wall" (Pink Floyd)
It's funny, the more we as a society claim to be moving toward creating individuals and embracing the unique characteristics everyone brings to the game, the more this song rings true. I find myself all the time conforming and doing things I don't necessarily want to do and saying things I disagree with because it's just easier than trying to be true to myself and having to deal with the consequences of that. I think that, back when there was a standard pat expectation of people, they were more likely to rise above it (or go to either side of it); now, there is this constant state of unspoken conformity that is all the worse because we try to say that the converse is true. It's strange. (Note--I think my iPod has a great sense of humor since this song seems to shuffle on more than any other just as I'm driving into the parking lot of the school I work at ;-)).

4. "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough" (Patti Smyth/Don Henley)
You can love somebody to pieces and have them tell you that they feel the same way (and definitely have them act like they love you), but at some point you just have to realize that you're in different places. Books and movies might say otherwise, but "sometimes love just ain't enough."

5. "Tick Tock" (Ke$ha)
It's funny how time gets away from you. I am thirty-three, not exactly old, but my partying days are unquestionably behind me. I kind of wish this song had come out fifteen years ago, because I really like it. I could totally have related to it in my heyday. That said, it makes me very nervous because I worry about my daughters and about my students in terms of the sentiments raised here. I also question the veracity of a society where a song like this is so widespread; I mean, Belle knows the chorus to this song (thanks so much, Addie), and I'm pretty strict with my kids.

6. "The Boxer" (Simon and Garfunkel)
If you were to look at my high school yearbook, the quote I chose to accompany my senior picture is, "In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade, and he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame, 'I am leaving, I am leaving' but the fighter still remains." We are all in a fight with life, in a way. We are all going to get brought to our knees sometimes. We are all going to have times when we rise triumphant. And, ultimately, we are all going to lose.

7. "Yellow Ledbetter" (Pearl Jam)
There is something about a song with lyrics that are almost impossible to understand. It makes you listen a little harder, makes you pay a bit more attention. And to continue the boxing metaphor from number six, "I don't know whether I'm the boxer or the bag" is a sentiment I think we can all relate to in some way, shape, or form.

8. "Imagine" (John Lennon)
I spend much of my life dreaming, a great deal of time hoping. There is so much evil in the world, and there's just no need of it. I mean, we all bleed, we all hurt, we all smile. It would be so nice if everyone could just get on the same page and look at the big picture.

9. "What's my Age Again?" (Blink 182)
There isn't an adult alive that doesn't, at times, act like a five-year-old. It's kind of unfortunate, but it's pretty much human nature to be selfish and stupid sometimes. This song is so much fun (Am I the only person that yells, "I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail--this state looks down on sodomy" when this comes on?), but there's actually a lot to think about here even though, on the surface, it's kind of a fun and sort of dumb song.

10. "The City of New Orleans" (Arlo Guthrie)
Okay, confession time--I cannot hear this song without crying like a baby. It was one of my stepdad's favorites, and I can hear his voice singing it (hopelessly off-tune, natch) whenever the song is even mentioned. The cyclical nature of virtually everything, the rise and fall of empires and trains ... it's mind-blowing. Just mind-blowing.

The Philosophy of KLo

I have become very interested in philosophy over the past year. The questions of why, how, what, when, and so on have become beyond intriguing to me. Therefore, I've decided to record my thoughts with regard to the hows and whys of life in general here.

I do have a personal blog that depicts the goings on in my real life. Based on unintentional hurt feelings, that blog is blocked to all but a select few. That's where I talk about my sordid past (haha) and the goings-on in my present. My purpose is for this blog to be very general. I will use pseudonyms without exception.

My plan is to go through my personal blog and adapt some of the ideas and concepts there to fit here. After I get those posts up (and I'll do it in chronological order of when they were written), I'll start writing new stuff.

Please feel free to leave comments, thoughts, ideas, suggestions, or anything else. The greatest lesson I've learned in my life is the magic that exists within the human mind. Not to sound like The Forty Year Old Virgin, but if you don't use it, you're going to lose it.