Lots to be Thankful For ...

I'm not a huge fan of Thanksgiving.  I know, I know, downright un-American, right?  The thing is, it bugs me that our society feels compelled to focus on being grateful one day of the year and foster sort of a dog-eat-dog mentality the rest of the time.

Oh, and I hate turkey, stuffing, gravy, and so on.

But the world doesn't center around my culinary tastes, and I'm as bad about only taking the time to fully, deeply count my blessings on one day in November as anyone.

I challenge you to contemplate your own good fortune (and we all have lots, if you think about it), and also to write about it ... and I encourage you to either leave a link to your own "thankful" post or to leave a comment about what you're grateful for.  I'd love to read the many and varied directions thankfulness can go in ...

Also, I've done something like this on my blog before, and it's kind of funny to read it now ...

As for me, I am especially thankful for ...

1.  My daughters.
I know this is a contrived answer for a mother to give, but I can't help it.  My children are the funniest, kindest, most extraordinary people I know.

It's been a big week for both of them, too.

Addie made All-State Orchestra (you can hear her play on this post), raised her SAT score to a 1750, and had an idea--a random act of kindness--that turned out amazingly well.

Belle has apparently acquired representation in the world of child acting and modeling.  I'm still not sure that I'm ready to embrace this with open arms, but it seems to be what she wants, and I've raised my children to reach always for their dreams, so ....

2.  My mother.
While we still don't get along much of the time and much of what she does confuses the hell out of me, I really appreciate everything she has given up to let the girls and I live with her.

The girls and I spent the afternoon baking with my mother's best friend from high school, then we went back later (with my mom) to eat dinner with her.  We got, as usual, a bit loud ... my girls have gotten the message that our family values laughter to a tremendous degree.

My mother was joking with her friend (who lives alone) about how nice it is to have us visit, but she can have her quiet, peaceful life back when we leave.  Of course, my mother does not have this luxury, since she's kind of ... stuck with us, at least for a little bit longer.

She has given my girls so much love and support, and I will always be grateful to her.

3.  Henry.
Nobody wants to hear how amazing your boyfriend is and how happy you are.  It's boring and drama-less and just not fun to read about.  I am very happy.  Very, very happy.  Very, very lucky.  And very, very thankful.

4.  Dunkin' Donuts coffee.
That should really speak for itself.  If you don't live near a Dunkin' Donuts and love coffee, you're missing out.

5.  Recent life developments.
Details at some point, I'm sure, will be forthcoming.  For right now, I'm just thankful for the winding roads that life sometimes drops you down on ... even if you have no idea how things are going to end up, living the proverb "May you live in interesting times" is exhilarating.  I suppose ...

So that's what I am focusing on tonight in terms of gratefulness.

Where are y'all at?

A Changing Definition of "Fun"

My friend Jessie has a name for the period of time when you first start dating someone and everything is just flowers and light and smiles and so on--"The Hearts and Bunnies Phase".

It sounds contrived, but it's true.  

And no one in the world wants to hear the details of how dizzily happy you are, that what you've always dreamed of seems to be happening, that you're walking around floating on air because life feels so very good.

Which is why I haven't been blogging much lately.

The fact that Henry, who is also an English teacher, lent me his Edgar Allan Poe action figure to share with my students after finding out that we were reading "The Cask of Amontillado" melted my heart, but I'm sure it sounds just lame to other people.  

He made a playlist of songs that reminded him of me, burned them onto a CD, and I listen to it all the time.

As Pythagorus became increasingly unbalanced and emotionally abusive the past few weeks (before disappearing entirely for days at a time more than once), Henry has been incredibly supportive, offering not advice or anger but love, logic, and laughter (after Pythagorus left a couple of disjointed, rambling voice mails that concluded with him giving his full name and phone number, Henry opined that Pythagorus is freaking out because he can't control and bully me anymore ... and stated, "You've got his number ... literally").

It's a very new feeling to be around someone unfailingly positive, constantly kind, and ridiculously funny ... but also trustworthy.  I never thought I'd be able to fully believe in anyone again, but being with Henry is making me rethink a lot of things.

Including the parameters of what a really fun time is.    

Last week, Belle and I went with Henry to his friend/co-worker's house.  Joanna is also an English teacher, so it was a gathering of the minds ;-)  Anyway, we brought pizza, soda, and Rock Band ... and that was it.

I enjoyed Joanna and her husband from the start, and we had an absolute ball playing Rock Band with the kids and such (they have two kids, one almost exactly Belle's age and one a few years older).

After the excitement of Rock Band wore off, the little ones moved on to board games, hide and seek, and dressing up in Halloween costumes, and the adults went and sat out on the porch, talking and laughing (drinking root beer and Diet Coke, I might add ... it was noted more than once how odd it seemed to be dissolving in laughter so often without drinking alcohol).

It was pretty late when we left, so Belle and I slept in Henry's guest bedroom (and she slept in until 8:00, which I still cannot believe).  Belle had a birthday party to attend, but Henry made pancakes for her (and an omelet for me ... yum!) before we left.  He also put coffee into a travel mug for me, but I forgot it at his house in my rush to get Belle to her party on time.

Cue the following text exchange.

HENRY: You forgot your coffee, you goofball :-(

ME: Oh, shit, I did :-(  And after hogging the cream, too...lol

HENRY: Don't worry, I won't let it go to waste.

***a number of texts came and went***

HENRY: Hmmm, the coffee tastes off.  I think I need to clean the maker.  You're not missing out after all.

ME: Haha, that's a relief :-)  It's almost ten, and I haven't had coffee...perhaps a first since college.

HENRY: Lol, oh my!

And the past week, it just keeps coming.  Everything is beautiful, and I want to sing and dance and hug the sky and such.

Henry met my brother and his family last night when we all went to the beach house for dinner.  It was wonderful.  The dinner party concluded, in fact, with Henry and Adam fixing the beach house toilet (while this was transpiring, my sister-in-law kept saying how great Henry is and how close he and Belle are ... it made me feel so good).

And so as I'm finding happiness (some might say "sappiness" :-)) and, yes, joy in pretty much everything right now, I'm also aware of the nuanced changes in the definition of "fun" as I understand it.

I feel an amazing connection to Henry, in every possible way.  He's an incredible man, and I still find myself shaking my head in disbelief to know that he really wants to be with me.  Sometimes I doubt that, but those moments are lessening, that fear of him disappearing dissipating as we seem to grow closer and more dizzily drawn to each other than we did when we'd just started dating.

There is fun everywhere ... if you are willing to see it, to appreciate it, to let it come.  

I'm a Blog Slacker ... So Starting Back Up With Sunday Stealing :-)

There is no question, I've been a slacker in terms of keeping this blog up to date.  I've been busy with the kids and school starting back up and all sorts of other things.

So, yeah, I have a boyfriend, who I'll call Henry here (he knows why).  He's an English teacher, a voracious reader, and is a very kind, very funny, very smart person.  I've been avoiding mentioning him because I didn't want to jinx anything.

I guess I'm comfortable enough with where we're at now to mention him here.  That's probably a good sign :-)

Anyway, onward to Sunday Stealing, which is called "That Meme That's Going Around" this week.

A. Age:

I'll be 35 next month.  I don't want to talk about it.

B. Bed size:

So I have Ward and June Cleaver beds in my room.  Yes, I'm serious ... I sleep in a twin-sized bed.  With a golden retriever.  

C. Chore that you hate:

Unloading the dishwasher.  Now, I don't mind loading the dishwasher, which is, according to everyone that makes fun of me about this, the exact same amount of work when all is said and done.  For some reason, though, I just hate unloading the stupid dishwasher ...  

D. Dogs:

I've always had dogs, primarily golden retrievers, and they've always been family members, not just pets.  Right now, I have a golden retriever named Mollie and a black lab named Sonja.  They're wonderful :-)

E. Essential start to your day:

Coffee.  It's not a real day until there's coffee.

F. Favorite color:

Red.

G. Gold or Silver:

I actually think silver is prettier, but virtually all of my jewelry is gold ... interesting conundrum ;-)

H. Height:

5'2".  I'm short.  Most of my students are taller than I am.  I've come to terms with it.

I. Instruments you play:

I can pick on the piano a bit, and I used to sing pretty well.

J. Job title:

English Teacher.  

K. Kids:

Two daughters, Addie (17 and a senior in high school, which I do NOT want to talk about) and Belle (7, and a sparkly, sweet little girl) 

L. Live:

In New England, where we have a passion for sports teams that mess with our minds and say things like, "WICKED PISSAH".  

M. Mother's name:

I'm not putting my mother's name down here.  I will tell you, though, that I almost gave Belle my mother's name for a middle name, but I just couldn't do it because the name is so ... well, dumb.  No, it's not Bambi.

N. Nicknames:

Many and varied ... "Teach" and manifestations of my name (such as KLo) are the norm.

O. Overnight hospital stays:

Also many and varied ... I never just get a cold, it's always something that requires overnight hospital stays.  It's been awhile, though ... years, in fact.  Speaking of fearing a jinx ...

P. Pet peeve:

Feet, "Toppers" (people that have to one-up every story you tell ... it's very annoying), rudeness, mean people, being disorganized ...

Q. Quote from a movie:

"Leave the gun ... take the cannoli." 

R. Right or left handed:

Right.

S. Siblings:

Two, Adam (four years older) and Mary (two years younger).  I also have two half-sisters and a half-brother.

T. Time you wake up:

During the week, 5:30 a.m. ... on weekends, it depends.

U. Underwear:

Yes ;-)

V. Vegetable you hate:

Peas.  The consistency of the inside of peas makes me gag.

W. What makes you run late:

I'm very rarely late.  My mother is ALWAYS late, and it used to drive me crazy.  It got to the point where I'd tell her I needed to be picked up from practice at 3:30 when it was really 4:00 because I knew she'd still be 15 minutes late.

X. X-Rays you've had:

A lot.  I don't keep track ...

Y. Yummy food that you make:

There are very few things I can make, but what I can make I make very well--chicken salad, corn chowder, meatloaf, a chicken casserole with cheese and broccoli that's pretty amazing, and spaghetti with meatballs.  

Z. Zoo animal:

I think wild cats (tigers, lions, cheetahs, leopards) are unspeakably beautiful.