Showing posts with label public. Show all posts
Showing posts with label public. Show all posts

Monday, September 14, 2015

Equalizing Education? Not with This Obstacle ...

While the United States provides public education to its population, the quality of such is all over the map. It's simply unavoidable.

There are many and varied reasons for this, of course.

School districts that pay their teachers and administrators well are likely to retain a strong, talented staff of educators. The converse, of course, is also true.

Larger schools have a larger pool to pull from in terms of athletic teams, extracurriculars, and students to fill in Advanced Placement classes.

Smaller schools often provide a family feel, where students and staff know each other well and would go to the mat for each other. 

Inner city schools are frequently rich in culture and diversity.

Consolidated country schools offer original electives such as cow care and snowmobile mechanics.

Whether we are using "Common Core", sold as the great educational equalizer intended to level the playing field, or not, there is no question that schools are vastly different. I live in New Hampshire, and my children have gone to three different school districts. Extremely different.

Are all New England Schools alike? Of course not. The South? Runs the gamut, I'm sure. California? The so-called Bible Belt? Alaska or Hawaii? 

It's hard enough to compare schools in one state or one region, but let's be real; no two schools are alike. I've been an educator long enough to know that each and every school has both significant strengths and weaknesses.

There is--I'm just going to say this--no way to uniformly educate the children of America. Geography, finances, quality of teaching staff, and so on ... it's just not possible to enforce uniformity.

And that's okay ... because the biggest obstacle facing American children in 2015 is none of those things.

Nope, my theory is that the detriment to American schoolchildren is their families.

Wait, their families? Not the Common Core? Not teachers on strike? Not shoddy materials? Not shabby facilities?

That's right. Their families.   

I learned early on that, when I asked my eldest daughter, Emily, how school was, the inevitable answer was, "Fine." It took me a few years, but I eventually learned to ask direct questions. What was on the history quiz? Are you enjoying Of Mice and Men? What music are you playing in band? It was harder for her to give monosyllabic responses to that.

And then Ari came along, and she couldn't talk about school enough. Well, let me rephrase that ... Ari couldn't talk enough about the social aspects of school. The kid should have written an elementary school gossip magazine. However, I'd learned from her stoic sister that specific questions led to discussion, so I ended up hearing all about her classes as well.

Yup, it was pulling teeth to get any sort of curriculum conversations going with either of them, excellent students both ... and I'm a teacher.

I wonder sometimes how many parents want desperately to talk about school with their kids, to analyze Steinbeck and conjugate Latin verbs and weigh the pros and cons of the Vietnam conflict. I suspect the number is large, even for those that never have said conversations. Children can be tough nuts to crack, and if school is their private world they might well want to keep Mom and Dad out of it.

I persist, though, and I think a lot of parents do as well. I have a fairly good idea of what's going on with each of them, even though Emily is in college now (hating her astronomy class, disappointed in her language acquisition course, and learning lots in history of the English language) and Ari is a middle schooler (exponents in math, warning sign identification in science, the story behind their first name in Language Arts).

It would be really easy for me to say, "I'm an involved parent. I talk to my kids about school, even digging for details. I check their homework. They ask me for help when needed. I am so involved it's not even funny." 

Except that's not precisely true.

Personally, I hate big crowds of people I mostly don't know. Going to open houses and festivals and concerts and such bring on anxiety attacks. I know Ari would like it if I volunteered at her school (if I had the free time) or took her to middle school football games or encouraged her to have friends over. Sometimes I can even handle this, but much of the time, I can't. 

Also, I could stalk the online grade program and/or e-mail her teachers all the time, but I don't want to be a pain.

Overall, though, parental involvement should not be a concern for me, right?

Wrong again.

Parental involvement is a problem for everybody!

The biggest problem shared with me by both Emily and Ari is one and the same: the other kids act like monsters and keep the teacher from being as effective as he or she would otherwise be.

You might say, the teacher should send the kid to the office. The teacher should call home. The kid should be punished. This shouldn't be allowed.

Sadly, these kids have missed out on a lot of learning when they languished in the office. Phone calls home run from, "Well, he says you have it in for him!" or "Everyone else was throwing spitballs, too" to, "That's a school problem. I have a hard enough time dealing with him at home." 

Because those parents enable, make excuses for, or give up on their children, my children miss out. 

Is that fair to my children? No ... but yes. You see, my children have had to learn to extend their education on their own. Instead of being one of those obnoxious and overbearing parents that call teachers the second week of school and say, "My child is bored", I strive to teach my kids to read more, to list questions about topics in history class that we can discuss as a family later, to write in a journal. My children are bright and successful, but I would never extol them as special snowflakes.



Parental involvement is a multi-faceted thing. It's not just talking to kids about school. It's not just having sports dates and days off written on the calendar. It's not just going on teacher websites. It's not going to school events, whether you want to or not.

It's all of those things, and it's more.

As a parent, I raise my children fully aware that their teachers are playing a role in their upbringing as well. As a teacher, I buy everything from lunch to deodorant to tampons to notebooks to sneakers for my students. I teach them English, but I also teach them manners and respect.

But it's an uphill battle.

Until parents are unified in their view of what education means for American children in 2015, the problem will exist. In fact, it will get worse. Parents work long hours. They are too tired to attend school events. They might not have transportation, and it's increasingly common for parents uncomfortable with speaking English to avoid going into schools out of fear and discomfort. Kids are seduced by drugs and gangs and horribly short skirts from American Eagle. 

The only way for education to be equalized is for parents to become fully invested in their children's schooling. Only then can we all work together to provide a high quality, equal education to every student. 

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Okay, Let's Talk About Breastfeeding

Although the vaccination debate tends to be one I hear a lot about as a thirtysomething mother, breastfeeding is not far behind.

Let me begin with a question ... is this a sexual picture?
I'm sure some will be appalled and think, "You put a large part of your boob online voluntarily? Are you crazy?", and that's okay, I guess.

And some will think it is a sexual picture, which is I suppose a different conversation.

As far as I'm concerned, this:
 is exactly the same as this:
Which is pretty much this:
In other words, Gabrielle is being nourished.

What the heck is the big deal?

And it IS a big deal, whether it should be or not.

The problem with breastfeeding, in my humble opinion, is that there are so many facets; it's so multi-sided in terms of what to talk about that it's hard to know where to begin.

I breastfed all three of my children, and it's been a very different experience each time.

With Addie (her real name is Emily ... I suppose we can drop the pseudonym act since we no longer share a last name), I was very much pressured by the nurses and lactation consultants to breastfeed.  I was seventeen years old, so of course I was going to go along with it.  I never really enjoyed it, though, and Emily had formula when I was at work and I would give her formula instead of nursing if we were going somewhere public.  She got her first teeth at four months, and she made me bleed, so I stopped breastfeeding.  Frankly, I was relieved.

With Belle (real name Ariel and a.k.a. Ari), I had a device I hadn't owned when Emily was a baby--namely, a breast pump.  After my maternity leave was up and I went back to work six weeks after Ari was born, I pumped breast milk for her to have at day care.  I started pumping almost immediately, I pumped on the way to work (my breast pump went into the car lighter ... I think a lot of truck drivers were kind of surprised), twice at work, and then on the drive home from work.  I nursed her at night.

I have been home with Gabrielle, due to medical complications arising from her birth, for nearly five months.  It has been an unexpected treat, to be honest, although the financial hardship is getting heavy. That, actually, is one of the reasons I'm still breastfeeding The Gab ... formula is expensive!  But really, I think the bond I have with her through nursing is strong and legitimizes a lot of studies I've read.  I actually spent a few days in the hospital in late April, and I had to pump milk for Gabby while I was there since I only got a chance to nurse her once a day.

Yeah, breastfeeding is hard.

The funny thing is, I'm not one of those hard core breastfeeding fanatics.  I don't brag about having platinum nipples because I nursed until my kid was 5 or whatever.  My attitude with both Ari and Gabby was one of, "Eh, we'll see.  If it works, we'll do it.  If it's more trouble than it's worth, well ... we know a lot of really smart people who were raised on formula."

Breastfeeding happened to work for me all three times.  I'm glad it did.  If it hadn't, I would have used formula and been equally happy.  So that's where I stand on whether or not to breastfeed.

The stigma of public breastfeeding, though ...

Man, I struggle with that one.

I grew up in New Hampshire, and when I went to college for the first time, I had an interesting epiphany.  Every time I walked by a non-Caucasian student, I'd say in my mind, "Oh, look, there's a black kid." This wasn't negative in any way, just observational ... but the very fact that I would notice the color of someone's skin because it was different than mine ... it bothered me.  It bothered me then, and it bothered me now. I like to think I'm more open-minded (and I think I am, that it's not what it sounds like).

That's how it is with women I see breastfeeding.  "Oh, that woman over there is breastfeeding."  And I am always a little bit jealous because breastfeeding in public is so hard for me.

The first problem, of course, is that I am me.  I am absolutely the clumsiest person in the world.  I was nursing Ari at the mall once, and a high school kid came over and pointed out that the blanket had shifted and my other breast, the one Ari wasn't attached to, had come out from under the blanket.  And because it is stressful for me, milk production is not as easy or plentiful, so its stressful on baby.

I have breastfed Gab while having lunch at a restaurant with my sister and in the coatroom at Ari's gymnastics class.  That's it.  I've spent more time anticipating the need and timing our ventures around her feeding schedule (or nursing her in the car, which always makes me feel a little dirty).

Anyway, Gab and I are still plugging away at breastfeeding.  I do pump, though, as well.  She gets formula through her cereal.  It seems to be a win/win situation, at least for today.

What are your thoughts on breastfeeding?  Feel free to share your stories in the comments below?  Do you think the stress the medical profession puts on mothers to nurse is worth the stress it causes?  How about the stigma of public breastfeeding?  Are you bothered by mothers breastfeeding in public? Why do you think some people have such a hangup about this? Is there anything I missed here :-)?

Gotta go ... time to nurse my baby <3 p="">





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