Sunday Stealing: The Seriously Random Question Meme (Part I)

This week's Sunday Stealing offering is sold as the "seriously random question" meme. It seems to be seriously random in the direction of food, in my humble opinion, but maybe that's just me ;-)

1.Your ex's car is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do?
I would pull over, call 911, see if anyone was trapped inside, and do whatever I could to help. No matter how bad a situation with an ex might be, nobody deserves to be trapped in a car on fire. Ignoring it, taking a picture and posting it on Facebook, screaming about karma being a bitch … those might be tempting, but as far as I’m concerned, life’s too short to sink down that low.

2. Your best friend tells you she is pregnant. What is your reaction?
“If you’re happy, I’m happy. If you’re not, I’m here to help you process. If you need anything, let me know.”

3. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
I’m non-violent, so face-punching isn’t really a viable option for me. I’ve gotten really annoyed with some people at work lately over turning my workplace into a soap opera (it’s sad when adults start spreading gossip around worse than the middle schoolers do), and we’re currently driving home from my nephew’s birthday party (a three-hour drive), and Addie keeps announcing updates on her Sims characters which is for some reason getting on my nerves like you cannot imagine. Hotspotting my Droid is indeed a mixed blessing ;-)

4. What is the last thing you spent money on?
I bought pretzels for the girls, my mothers, and I during a rest stop on the drive down to Connecticut.

5. Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month?
Gained, sadly. A combination of increased Millky Way consumption and not really being able to exercise for medical reasons has not been a good thing.

6. Crunchy or Puffy Cheetos?
Crunchy. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I’m a huge fan of Cheetos, orange fingers and all.

7. The first person on your friends list just called you a bitch. What do you do?
Laugh? I don’t know, it’s all about the context … and I can’t imagine a context that I wouldn’t find at least mildly entertaining. Anyway, I am not a bitch … I am many things, not all of them good, but I would not take a bitch accusation seriously since it is so far off the mark. Furthermore, I don’t think I have any sort of “friends list” … wasn’t that a MySpace thing?

8. Congratulations! You just had a son. What’s his name?
Atticus, Holden, or Rhett.

9. Congratulations! You just had a daughter. What’s her name?
Tess, Elphaba, or Eilonwy.

10. What are you craving right now?
A margarita. Will this car ride never end?

11. What was the last thing you cried about?
My back hurting … I’m becoming a real wimp about pain.

12. When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it?
I put it in the little “have a penny, leave one, need a penny, take one” box.

13. What color is your tissue box?
I don’t have a clue. Do people actually pay attention to stuff like that?

14. Do you have a ceiling fan in your bedroom, and if so, is there dust on that fan?
Hahahahahahahahaha. I live in the attic of a barn. It is freezing cold in the winter and sweltering hot in the summer. There is no ceiling fan. There’s plenty of dust, though …

15. What was the last voicemail you received about?
An old friend calling to say hi. I have a boring life ;-)

16. Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook?
Nope, nor have I ever unfriended anyone. I’ve turned down people asking to be friends on Facebook (mostly students … they do not seem to listen when I tell them that I cannot be Facebook friends with them), but I’ve never blocked anybody.

17. Scariest thing you’ve experienced in the last year?
Since Addie got her license, I make her text me right before she leaves and as soon as she reaches her destination. Overprotective, I know, but I am a worrier. Addie had a concert at school, and she left an hour before my mother, Belle, and I did. I didn’t receive a “Made it” text from her, and I was absolutely hysterical. I tried to call her, but she wasn’t answering her cell, and I didn’t hear back from her when I texted her frantically.

The period of time when I didn’t know where she was … it was horrible. Addie is in general a really responsible kid, and she was (and still is) religious about texting. I was utterly convinced that something unspeakable had happened to her because it was so unlike her not to text.

When we got to the concert, she was sitting in front of the stage with the rest of the band, and I went charging down there and went totally nuclear on her—demanding her car keys and so forth. She was mortified, and the worst part was, she had texted me … she showed me on her phone. It just happened to catch that little cell hiccup that happens occasionally, so it didn’t get delivered to my phone for several hours.

I felt like the biggest jerk in the world.

18. Do you wear a name tag at work?
Nope :-) I’ve worked at schools that required staff photo badges, and it’s such a relief to have gotten away from that. It’d be silly, actually … there are fewer than 300 students in my school, so trust me, everyone knows everyone else without a name tag.

19. What kind of car do you want?
A Jeep Wrangler.

20. What do you order when you go to Burger King?
A Whopper with cheese. I am usually pre-menstrual to the extreme when I get the BK urge, so I figure why mess around?

The Theory of Relativity as it Applies to Food

I am a huge fan of food. Like, I love to eat. This love is tempered by my whacked out liver and extreme pickiness, which is probably a good thing or else I'd be on one of those TLC shows.

My mother's pot roast, unique because of the onion soup mix (and other stuff) that she adds, making it an olfactory delight as well as a dietary one. My sister's green beans (sounds weird, but she does something magic with sea salt). My husband's repertoire of French cuisine, each dish better than the last. Cheeseburgers cooked on the grill. Lobster in any of its manifestations (drawn with butter, mixed with a little mayonnaise and served on a roll, cooked as a pie with Ritz cracker crumbs and a lot of butter, et cetera). The bouillabaise my stepdad made, brimming with scallops and shrimp underscored by a base of clam. Pizza made from scratch by my father. Peanut butter pancakes. Chef salad with a little bleu cheese dressing. Ice cream with peanut butter sauce. New England boiled dinner. Caramel martinis.

My breakfast this morning, consumed after a fasting period of approximately four and a half days, consisted of:
* Chicken broth with no salt
* Cherry-flavored Italian ice
* Orange Jello
* Coffee (with sugar but no milk or cream)
* Ginger Ale

It was among the best meals I've ever had.