Oh, Headache, From Whence Did You Come? (And When Will You Be Going Back There?)

There is nothing quite so debilitating as a really bad headache.  

It's also an obvious target for ridicule, almost.  I mean, who hasn't heard jokes with the "Not tonight, dear, I have a headache" punchline ... or rolled your eyes at someone always complaining about having a headache?

I've long had a migraine issue; in fact, I'm in a unique category of those suffering from migraine headaches (and insomnia) for most of my life.  Yup, I got regularly dropped by headaches and spent countless sleepless nights when I was a toddler.  No wonder I'm not my mother's favorite person ;-)

The idea of having a headache isn't particularly interesting, though, and I'm not self-obsessed enough to imagine that my migraines are worse than anyone else's.

What's of interest to me at this moment is why you can go through life and all of a sudden *bam* get slammed by an unbearable pounding, the inability to tolerate bright lights or any sort of noise, and pain intense enough to induce vomiting.

I'm chatting with Henry at the moment, and I mentioned to him that I've been having trouble coming up with blogging ideas at times.  He had an interesting theory as to why ...

KL: Addie's on her way home from Winter Guard ... one time-intensive activity ends, and the next one begins lol

HENRY: lol
KL: I'm writing a blog piece on headaches   I've been having a hard time coming up with stuff for my personal blog lately ... it's weird lol
HENRY: At least she isn't boring or bored
HENRY: Lol, you don't do the "happy artist" thing well?
KL: Or doing drugs, having sex with multiples, getting into petty crime, or beating up small children lol
HENRY: lol
KL: Evidently not   Actually, I think I will eventually ... I've had some really great writing ideas of late, believe it or not.  Like, better than usual.  The thing is ... well, it's kind of like reading graphic novels ... it's new and different and takes some getting used to
HENRY: True


This ties back to the topic at hand, I promise.

See, even though my migraines are idiopathic (in other words, nobody knows where the heck they come from), there is no doubt that stress plays some sort of role.  The whole root cause of migraines is the constriction of blood vessels, and you probably don't need me to tell you how stress figures in there.

And I guess that's the big mystery at the moment since, as Henry alluded to in our chat, I am happier than I've been in a very long time.  I'm sort of abuzz with inner peace, lame as that sounds.

So I got thinking about what would cause my head to explode when life is so very beautiful, and it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks.

Pythagorus has apparently decided that paying child support is optional, which has led to some pretty serious financial strains.  I have to register and inspect both my car and Addie's, for example, and the worst thing--having to tell Belle that things like basketball and Girl Scouts and Happy Meals for dinner (which sounds really bad, but the kitchen is under construction, so we are currently stoveless) are not givens.

He is also doing the disappearing thing again, not answering the phone when Belle calls at the allotted time for six days at a time, answering it on the seventh day, then going back to not answering it the next night.  It's confusing and frustrating for me, so I can only imagine how horrible it must be for a second grader. 

And because I don't want to be that annoying woman that sits around trashing the ex-husband, I keep it inside as much as I can, but the blood vessels in my head are unfortunately an area I have no conscious control of ...

I need to take up long distance running or something ... perhaps yoga.

Anyway, my doctor gave me quite a cornucopia of drugs, so I'm feeling much better now and hopefully the level of this migraine won't be duplicated any time soon.

The stress of worrying about Pythagorus, primarily in terms of Belle but also the kind of distant concern you have when you hear that an old high school classmate has fallen on hard times or something ... I have to just let it go, get a second job to make up the financial difference (since it's obviously too much trouble for him to get a first job), and keep on enjoying the beauty and light that are surrounding my life.

If someone can figure out how to get that message to my cranial blood vessels, though, I'd really appreciate it ...

Sunday Stealing: The Twenty-Fiver Meme

Hit up Sunday Stealing ... it's a great weekly event to look forward to :-)

1.      1. Tell us about something that made you laugh last night.

I was writing a piece for Zelda Lily about this crazy mother that took her thirteen-year-old daughter (plus two of her daughter's friends) with her when she went and left two bags of dog crap and a profanity-laced note on the doorstep of a kid her daughter was having issues with.   

The sheer absurdity of the situation had me alternating between laughing and crying.

2. What were you doing at 8 PM last night?

Trying to figure out why Blogger wasn't letting me blog ... it wouldn't save anything I typed in the body of a post, and I was getting really annoyed.  I finally gave up for the night, but same thing happened this morning.  Grrrr.

So I figured I'd abandon Firefox in lieu of Google Chrome to see if that helped, and ... well, you're reading this, right ;)?

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Drinking coffee, cursing Firefox, and trying to convince my mom to go to the emergency room.

Okay, here's the story.  I staggered into the kitchen this morning and, before I'd had any coffee, my mom says, "I think I have a corneal abrasion" (I'm pretty sure that's what she said ... she's a nurse practitioner and sometimes forgets that I know nothing about the medical world).

I guess she'd gotten a scratch on her eye while picking blueberries last night.  It must have hurt a lot, because my mother is not a complainer about physical ailments.  Anyway, I finally convinced her to go to the ER and get it looked it.

Shockingly, she listened ... like I said, it must have hurt a lot.

4. What happened to you in 2006? (Feel free to republish an old post from '06.)

2006 was probably the year that the seeds were sown for Pythagorus to become an alcoholic. 

Pythagorus had a really crappy childhood (REALLY crappy, but the details of which are not something I would ever share), and he compensated by excelling in school.  He was the salutatorian of his graduating class and received all sorts of Presidential Scholar Awards when he was in college and so on.

Like many abused and tormented children, Pythagorus never dealt with the things that happened to him.  He buried them deeply and went through life with a facade of success.  He also felt a strong need to help out those he saw as "suffering".

In 2006, he stood up for people that he saw as being mistreated at their job by a power hungry tyrant of a boss.  He wasn't inaccurate in this assessment, but he was sort of foolish.  He was not given a contract for the next year.

In other words, the guy who had succeeded at everything had gotten fired.  That it had nothing to do with his job performance (and it didn't--he truly was one of the best) and everything to do with an SOB with a Napoleon complex flexing his muscles doesn't really matter.

But I think that experience reminded Pythagorus of the adult bullies that destroyed his childhood.  I think it dredged up some memories, and once they started coming, nothing could stop them ...

Except wine.  A lot of wine.  And I guess that's the anatomy of an alcoholic, as I understand it.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?

"I cannot believe you slept in until 9:30!" (to Belle, who in general thinks 6:30 is sleeping in) 

6. How many beverages did you have today?

Two cups of coffee and SoBe Lifewater (black cherry dragonfruit ... what the heck is dragonfruit, anyway?) 

7. What color is your hairbrush?

I have two, one purple and one gray and black. 

8. What was the last thing you paid for?

Soup for Addie. 

9. Where were you last night?

Home fighting with my computer and reading a book. 

10. What color is your front door?

Blue.  I think it's called "colonial blue" or something ... I don't know, my mother's all Williamsburg obsessed.  You should see the curtains! 

11. Where do you keep your change?

In the cupholders of my car.  There's much overflowage, which I guess means I should roll coins or something, make a deposit into Addie's college account. 

12. What’s the weather like today?

Hot and sticky.  Again.  The weatherman has got to stop lying about when this yucky stretch is going to end. 

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?

I actually don't like ice cream all that much, but I occasionally indulge in Ben and Jerry's combination of chocolate chip cookie dough and chocolate fudge brownie.  Mmmmmmmm :-) 

14. What excites you?

Good times. 

15. Do you want to cut your hair?

Yes, actually.  The last time I got it cut, the hairdresser left it way too long in the back and made the layers way too short ... if I wear it down and don't go through the whole blow-dry/straighten/excessive hair supply routine (and this is so not me), it kind of looks like a mullet.  Thanks for reminding me to make an appointment ... with a different hairdresser ;) 

16. Are you over the age of 35?

Nope :-)   

17. Do you talk a lot?

Yes, I often do ... stupid ADHD ;-).   

18. Do you watch Franklin and Bash?

Uh ... who?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?

I know a lot of people named Steven.  

One of the occupational hazards of being a teacher is knowing someone with pretty much any name.  When I was pregnant with Belle, it was horrible trying to find a name that I didn't automatically associate with a former student.

I've actually had three students with Belle's real name, but she has kind of an unusual nickname derived from her name that is not common.

20. Do you make up your own words?

Oh, yes ... particularly derivatives of the f-word.  It's kind of entertaining to fit it into every part of speech as well as the pluperfect tense and such ;) 

21. Are you a jealous person?

No, I'm really not.  I get really annoyed by inequality (like when people at work get ahead based on how they look in a skirt rather than the quality of their abilities), but it's not really "jealousy", just irritation. 

22. What does the last text message you received say?

"Not alone."  Haha, have fun figuring that one out ;-) 

23. Where’s the next place you’re going to?

Not sure ...I might well not leave the house at all today since I've got to plan the week for summer school, read, write, soak up the AC.  I'll probably go walk on the beach, and I usually end up at the store for some reason or another. 

24. Who’s the rudest person in your life?

Pythagorus, without a question. 

The big drama this week involved him wanting me to drive Belle to the town he lives in (two hours away on a good day, but it's a resort town, so it's more like three in the summer, so we're talking at least six hours round trip) and then acting like I was being a jerk when I asked for gas money.  

I mean, it is not my fault that he got yet another DWI, and his assumption that I have any obligation to transport Belle halfway across the state to visit him is just ... rude.  Rude and insensitive.

This is especially noteworthy because Belle had already expressed not wanting to spend extensive time in the car (not her favorite thing to do).  

25. Are you crushing on anyone that you shouldn't be?

Nah, I'm not crushing on anyone ... just waiting around rather impatiently for Mr. Right to show up ;)