When You Realize Your Kids Are Growing Up ...

Motherhood is, without a doubt, the highlight of my life.

My daughters are both good, kind, bright, beautiful, amazing people, and I couldn't be more proud of them.  There is nothing I would rather do than spend time with them, to bask in their company, to enjoy every second with them ....

Except ... well, they're growing up.

Addie is in France right now.  Even before she left for her latest European venture, though, I got a taste of what the future holds.  We had plans to hang out, to go see a movie, to just spend time together, and so on right before she left.  On both occasions, she got better offers (friends, the boyfriend, and so on).

I am happy about that, believe it or not.  Addie coming out of her shell and becoming a confident young woman has been a joy to behold.

But there is a bittersweet aspect to it.  Every day that passes, every new adventure and experience, leads her further away from me, so even as I am increasingly proud of her and love her just the same as I always have, I miss the little girl who questioned how snakes were able to move when they don't have legs and who had a propensity for streaking as a toddler (she asked me recently why she's naked in so many childhood pictures ... I told her that she started every day dressed).

Of course, there are still these kinds of moments that I can reflect fondly on when she leaves for college ...

And then there is Belle, who has suddenly become "Miss Independent".

I was looking forward to spending a lot of time with Belle this summer, and when I told her this, she thought for a long moment then said, "No offense, Mommy, but I'd rather go to camp."

While she still requires our bedtime routine (which is comprised of reading books and snuggling) and we spend a lot of time together after camp gets out, Belle is clearly starting to grow up ... and it seems to be happening very quickly.  She loves to spend time with her friends, and I think that's great ... but I am starting to really miss her, strange as that probably sounds.

Belle is a character, without a doubt the funniest kid I've ever met in my life.  She also has a tremendous work ethic, which I am very proud of.  It's meant, of course, that this week of home repairs has resulted in us getting to work together on things, seeing each other in a different light.  For me, it's seeing her in a more grown-up light.

Henry even got her using the power washer, which she has a real knack for.

And so I've stopped wondering why people get the urge to have later-in-life children, why that rumor about ticking biological clocks exist.  If life circumstances were different, I would love to have another child, to be able to extend my lease on motherhood.

Except it's not really a lease, is it?  As I've learned with my own mother, it's a bond that never goes away.  It is sometimes strong and sometimes a bit frayed, but the ties between mother and child are forever.

I am more grateful than words can say for whatever higher power saw fit to bless me with my two girls.  They have made me a better person, made me laugh, made me realize the importance of appreciating every moment in life.

So even as the realization that my amazing daughters are growing up and learning to make their own ways in the world makes me sad in a way, the joy I feel when I look at them, spend time with them, even just think about them totally trumps that.

Addie and Belle, I love you more than anything in the world ... and always will.

An Inside Look at my Day Job (Reflection on a Workshop from Last Summer)

Rereading Mosaic of Thought and the processing what went on at this workshop has led to my brain teeming with ideas, thoughts, and good intentions. Whether or not I am able to live up to my hopes in terms of these strategies and approaches, I already believe strongly that a positive change has taken place. After all, if a bunch of teachers can get excited about something, there is already a certain level of success.

When I consider possible first moments, I am both excited and nervous. The portent of this shift in pedagogical approaches is huge; there is the potential for a serious approach differential in the education of students, and little is more important than that. I want to make sure that I don’t screw up the possibilities by not introducing these strategies in an effective way. I want to make sure that my students have the necessary level of buy-in. That responsibility is huge, and the onus is on me (and other teachers but, in terms of my class and my students, me) to hook them early and well. I hope to talk with my colleagues about how best to introduce this line of thinking and how to convince my students that they will both learn more and enjoy it better than a strict and traditional classroom.

My grand hopes, of course, are that my students will partake in effective, meaningful learning. This might mean the types of discussions that leave observers no doubt that an enormous amount of learning is transpiring. It could be that students are able to do the comprehension checks that many teachers have turned into an event so dull it is a form of torture on their own. I want my students to love learning. That’s about it. It sounds both simple and Pollyanna-esque when I put it that simply, but it is what it is. I have been teaching for long enough that I am well familiar with both my strengths and weaknesses as a teacher. Connecting with students, convincing them to look beyond the clichéd “comprehension questions,” has always been one of my strengths.

So what’s the problem, then? Well, it involves what is probably my greatest shortcoming as an educator. Like most educational theory books, Mosaic of Thought stresses the importance of routine, structure, a standard way of doing things so students know what to expect. That’s not me; it never has been, and I’m not sure how successful I will be at this. I am the teacher that gives out in-depth class discussions like a gift; this happens through spontaneity and my core connection with my students. I fear that altering this technique, which has led to veritable magic in my classroom, will lessen its (and my) effectiveness.

Questions? I've got many. Will adhering to a routine make me dull? Will I sacrifice energy and excitement in an effort to do what the book suggests? How can I teach myself to do both? What adaptations can teachers make to best suit their own teaching styles? How can I keep these strategies from becoming a joke within the student body (following John Collins training, students were making fun of the program constantly, asking for type identification from the lunch ladies)?

The noblest profession. The noblest profession. The noblest profession.