Rants and Raves: An Update

In trying to figure out what to write about tonight, I was reminded of a "rant and rave" post I'd done before. You know, you "rave" about all the great stuff going on and you "rant" about what sucks. Anyway, I went back and found it ... turns out it's for "Rant and Rave Wednesday", but I figured that Monday is an even better time.

So, here are my Rants and Raves for the past week.

RAVE: Pythagorus ended up in the hospital for the usual reason (although, as always, there's an interesting twist to it). Anyway, he's out of the hospital now and is recuperating with relatives. Also, he seems to have not been drinking since he got out of the hospital.

RANT: Somebody that I care deeply about told me today that I'm a lot like my mother. It was meant in most uncomplimentary terms.

RAVE: Had a great day at the Boston Museum of Science yesterday. I did not get electrified this time, but it was still a lot of fun.

RANT: My BlackBerry continues to need physical abuse in order to function properly. It's kind of embarrassing to be slapping my phone in public.

RAVE: My cousins are helping out with transporting Belle to and from camp since I'm on a crazy work schedule this summer. Yeah, whoever said teachers had summers easy is completely nuts ...

RANT: My dog is even more scared of thunderstorms than I am, and we had a bad one today. She was shaking all over and just scared to death--her heart was beating so fast I was afraid she was going to have a heart attack or something. It was horrible not being able to comfort her as well as I could have because I was so scared myself.

RAVE: My mother, who's in Italy for another week, left Addie a list of chores ... and Addie is actually doing them! She's also been making some amazing strides with her piano.

And I guess that's about it, in a nutshell. It's kind of a neat way to put things into perspective. Give it a try on your blog :-)

Gotta Love a Six-Year-Old

Belle started summer camp this week, and she absolutely loves it. It's been kind of hard as it's really hitting me how grown up my little baby is getting. Part of getting grown up is really getting a mind of her own. Belle has always known what she wants and how to get it (we make a lot of pink-hair-and-a-nose-ring-at-twelve comments about her), but the scope is getting much bigger.

They took a trip to a lake a few towns over today. She wore her bathing suit underneath her camp t-shirt and shorts, and then she went to pack her beach towel. She was dismayed that I had packed a sweatshirt as well as underwear and an extra shirt (I guess the kids wear their camp t-shirts into the water). She was furious ... she admonished me, "Mommy, I am not a baby."

Of course, when I picked her up, she was wearing the extra clothes I'd packed ;-)

Why Don't Kids Want to Play Outside Anymore?

The answer to that question is, unfortunately, easy: because it's so much easier to park them in front of a TV, computer, or video game system. Come on, 'fess up, how many of you have said, "It's a Wii, they're getting exercise"?

I was reminded of this, one of my major shortcomings as a parent, this afternoon. Belle and I went up to Andy's to hang out for a bit. The day was gorgeous, just perfect, so Belle played outside and played hard. She and Dawn and the little girl from next door played house and ran around with a wagon and made up games with big rubber balls. Andy even flew a kite with the girls because it was pretty breezy.

If Belle had been home, she would have spent most of the afternoon watching "Phineas and Ferb" while I graded papers or wrote or whatever. It's really pretty horrible the more I think about it ...

The thing is, it's not just me. This is a widespread problem in America. Any ideas for a solution?

The Philosophy of a Six-Year-Old

Belle is in this "Phineas and Ferb" phase. Disney Channel is showing numerous episodes today and, since I feel like crap, I'm sitting with Belle watching this very odd show. Belle started telling me about the different characters, and it made me laugh so hard that I had her start over and just typed down what she said. It's wild the way a child's brain works. Now, these are character-by-character depictions word for word from Belle's mouth ...

Phineas: You know Isabella that I showed you? Well, she's trying to encourage Phineas that, you know, she loves him. Every episode she's working on it, and every episode she doesn't get it. It's kind of like Toy Story 3. Ferb's his brother.

Ferb: Yeah, he's just like Phineas. He doesn't talk a lot. He follows Phineas. At the end of every episode he goes, like, "Blah blah blah."

Candace: She's just always trying to bust them. They're always building, like, a roller coaster or something that isn't safe. She calls their mom, but it's always cleaned up by then. And sometimes their dad stays home and they ask their dad if they can build, like, something and he says, "Yeah" but doesn't really understand.

Doofenshmirtz: Well, they have a pet named Perry and he's the platypus right there. He's a secret agent. All the agents pretty much just fool around with Perry. They tell Perry how to stop Doosensmirtz.

The Bully: Well, he usually beats up Baljeet.

Baljeet: I know it's a weird name, but pfft. Well, he's really busy just with Buford him up.

Isabella: Well, she's just always like, "Phineas! Phineas!" And in one episode she said, "Are you sure there's no one cuter?"

Norm: Norm is a robot. He helps Doosensmirtz and then he always tries to put Perry in a cage. Yeah.

Pretty funny, but I think she watches too much TV.

Stuff (And Why I'll Be Posting Regularly This Week :-))

I am on vacation from school this week. Never has a vacation been more timely or more necessary (I think I say that the first day of every vacation, though ;-)). So just a quick update, since my posts have been sporadic at best lately ...

* Addie is in England right now. Actually, that's not entirely accurate ... she's just leaving Scotland at the moment. She is having a ball traveling through the British Isles with her school's music department, and I am so happy for her even though I miss her terribly :-( Their trip was postponed nearly a week by the volcanic eruption in Iceland, and as recently as the night before they left on Wednesday, it looked like they wouldn't be going. Clearly, she's having a great cultural experience ...


* Belle is in Florida right now. My mom took her down to visit my sister and do the Disney World thing. Addie is something of a world traveler, but Belle has never been away from me before. She is also in a very clingy phase at the moment, so I'm hoping that she doesn't have a bunch of "I want Mommy" meltdowns. My mother is not a big fan of scenes ... Anyway, she rode an airplane for the first time, had a two hour layover (in D.C., of all places ;)), and made it to Orlando safely. I just got off the phone with her, and she is very excited about going to meet Mickey Mouse today. Here she is coloring during her layover (thanks, Mom, for sending the pic):


* Andy's surrogate father, Ken, has spent the past week in the hospital. Ken is one of the best human beings in the world--he really epitomizes the phrase, "He would give the shirt off his back to a stranger." I will post more about Ken later, but let me just say that I have known him for fifteen years and, in a way, he is sort of my surrogate father figure too. He was released on Friday, the prognosis isn't good, and ... I'm starting to cry again and I'll be doing plenty of that when I go to see him later, so I'm going to change the subject now.

* You remember that "cosmetic surgery" I had done? Yeah, it was really effective ... I mean, if you're going to say you're giving me plastic surgery, stupid eye technician, maybe you should make sure it WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!


* I received The Sunshine Award from Tasha over at Tasha's Truth. Tasha describes herself as "a teacher at an alternative high school and a woman finding her way." She's an extremely astute lady with many great things to say. I strongly recommend you check out her blog. My job now is to pass this award on to five blogs that give me sunshine ... (this is tricky since I read and love so very many blogs)


1. The World According to J.J. in L.A. Jodi, who clearly states, "I was born with spina bifida, but that's the least interesting thing about me", is just hysterically funny, tremendously kind, and a pleasure to interact with. Her positive attitude is a true inspiration.

2. Mommytopia. Wendie is arguably one of the funniest writers I have the pleasure of experiencing. She has a true gift for making both the mundane and the tragic seem thrilling and comedic. It's almost Shakespearean, I swear ;) Anyway, if you don't read Wendie's blog, you should. That's all.

3. Flutey Words. Aubrie is a published writer (yes, I'm RIDICULOUSLY jealous ;-)) who actually lives close to me geographically (although I've never met her because I'm not a stalker). The gentle yet pointed advice given on her blog (and the fact that she comments on almost all of my posts ;)) just make my days sunnier. She's a gem :-)

4. 2Girls2Dogs2Cats. So I went to high school with this girl Carrie, didn't know her super well, we reconnected on Facebook and found out we were both teachers and had a shared hatred for the woeful abuse of the apostrophe. Yeah, she's great. Anyway, this blog has chronicled Carrie and her partner MJ's journey to bring a baby into their family. The journey has been one of the hardest and most heartbreaking I've ever seen, but Carrie recently shared with the blogging world that she is pregnant. I am so happy :-)

5. Children of the Nineties. This is one of my absolute favorite blogs. I know I mention it whenever I'm doing a blog appreciation post or giving out blog awards or whatever, but the fact is, there is sheer sunshine in reliving everything from Pogs to Memoorable Dance Scenes in Movies to '90s Witches. It's just a trip if you spent any time growing up in the '90s (and I'm squarely in that demographic).

Okay, guess that's all for right now. My day consists of playing with the dogs, going to see a soccer game some of my students are playing in this afternoon, going to visit Ken and Andy either before or after the game, and missing my girls :-(

Home from Skiing (And You'd Better Believe There are Videos!)

We just got back from skiing. I have to wake up at 5:30 to go back to work. Yeah, I think we'll let the videos speak for themselves (pretty much : )). Oh, and I sound like a LOSER on video ... I never realized that before.

Before we left ... we have Andy being disgusting (actually, the video was shot just after he was being disgusting)



And we have a bunch of kids VERY excited at the prospect of going skiing : )



And then the skiing begins ... Here are the little kids in their lesson.



And then, of course, there was our attempt to get the big girls getting off the bunny slope and onto some real trails with their snowboards. Epic fail, as Addie would say (but that's a story for another day).



And there are a hundred other cute kid videos (and even one of me videotaping while skiing, which is kind of cool), but I sound beyond ridiculous and I fall, so let's end with Andy being disgusting, just for consistency. (Disclaimer: all six kids were in a lesson when we imbibed the beverage depicted in this video).



So there's no philosophical insight on this one ... unless you count a great day of fun a philosophy of a sort. Yeah, I pretty much do :)

Tired Children

This picture, I assume, speaks a thousand words. Maybe a million. And we haven't even skiied yet : ) Yup, Andy and his son Thomas crashed hard ...

There are six children with us--my daughters Addie (15)and Belle (6), Andy's kids Dawn (6) and Thomas (3), plus Addie's best friend Mikayla (15) and Andy's neice Jessica (8). It's a pretty full house, to say the least.

The ride up was a nightmare. My car is horrible in snow, and it was going all over the road, eventually hitting a guard rail. At that point, I refused to go any faster than ten miles per hour. Andy being the gentleman that he is (or else he just really wanted to get away from the younger kids, who were all in his car) offered to drive my car and let me drive his (far more suited to snow driving) vehicle. We moved pretty quickly after that, although I was kind of annoyed that Andy could drive my car with barely a skid--I guess when you know cars thoroughly, you can even get around the crazy winter driving issues.

Anyway, we got to the condo and had to bring the luggage up ... and some kids raring to get into the pool. We finally made it out to the pool, which was so cool. You get into the pool from inside a building, then you swim out and it's an outdoor pool. We literally swam in the midst of a snowstorm ... and it wasn't even cold : )

After returning to the condo, we all got into our pajamas and had dinner, pizza for everyone but Addie, Mikayla, and Jessica, who opted for Ramen Noodles. The little girls played hide and seek after dinner while the big girls burped (don't ask), Thomas played a computer game on my laptop (we're stealing someone's wireless ... I feel kind of guilty), and Andy just sort of relaxed (he'd gotten up at five to go to work, so he was entitled). I did the dishes and then got the girls to settle in, go to the bathroom, brush their teeth. We'd brought the game Apples to Apples (my highest recommendation, if you've never played it) and I asked Andy when I went upstairs to read a story to Belle, Dawn, and Jessica if he'd be up for a game. He said he would, but when I got back downstairs, he and Thomas had crashed on the pull out couch.

On the one hand, what a fantastic day : ) When children are tired enough to sleep soundly (and everyone is but me, so it's all good : )), you've clearly done something right. However, today was just preparation for tomorrow, when the skiing and snowboarding will transpire here at good old Sunday River.

How far can you push tired children before they reach their breaking point?

Kids Finding Fun in Random Ways : )

Belle and I are at Andy's for the night. Belle and his daughter, Dawn, played outside for a long time this afternoon, sledding and then some game of their own invention on the swing set.

It's so nice being here for a variety of reasons, not the least is which that Dawn is great at making up her own games. It's really good for Belle to be around someone her own age with the kind of imagination that Dawn has. Belle spends much of her time with adults (or with Addie, who treats Belle like a little princess), so having the opportunity to interact long-term with a child like Dawn is a real treat for her.

While dinner was cooking, Andy pulled the string on a party popper in the living room ... which definitely got the attention of Belle and Dawn. The girls took turns pulling party poppers, enjoying the noise (naturally) but having perhaps an even better time with the leftover debris.



I've learned a lot over the past few months about what makes children happy. You'd think, being a teacher, I'd know, but I guess that a) it's different when it's your own kids you're dealing with and b) my area of expertise is high school students. I never thought I'd see the day when my little Belle was content playing with scraps of ribboned paper forced out of a tiny tube.

The girls were even more amused, by the way, when Andy started chasing them with the vacuum cleaner as he was cleaning the mess off the carpet.



Do you think it's valuable for kids to learn to play driven by their imagination? Why is this such a novel concept? What are some memories from your childhood that didn't involve items bought from a store?

Of Barbies and Balls

I don't know if this is a common occurrence, but with my divorce has come a rising sense of feminism. Sometimes it comes up in ways that seem facetious (yeah, I'm referencing the urinal thing again), and sometimes it's more in-your-face. This would be one of the latter times ...

Belle and I were taking a shower the other day. Belle is six and never stops talking. I have H1N1 again (if that's even possible ... it's what the doctor said, but I have my doubts) and am on that happy cough medicine that loops you out, so I was just kind of nodding and smiling while my little princess was prattling along.

Then she said, "Wouldn't it be funny if a boy's favorite toy was a Barbie?" (I think this had been prefaced by, all in one breath, "IreallylikeBarbies.IlikeMyLittle Poniestoo.Yougettocombtheirhairandmakebraids.Wouldyouteachmehowtobraid,Mommy?Ithinkbraidsaresopretty.Likethegirlonthecocoabox.CouldIpleasehavesomecocoawhenIgetout
oftheshower?"). I interrupted her babbling to say, "What's wrong with a boy liking a Barbie?", and her response was, "Well, that would be like me playing with trucks." At least she didn't wrap that up with, "As if!", but the damage was done in my heart.

My children have been raised with a lot of encouragement in terms of doing what makes you happy. Addie gravitated toward music at a very young age, so we provided her with instruments, lessons, exposure to different types of music, and praise. When she was in sixth grade, her friends all decided to join the track team. Now, Addie is never going to be an athlete, but I didn't want to pop her bubble or tell her that she couldn't do something that she seemed really excited about doing. She stuck with track that year but never did it again. It just wasn't her thing. However, it was important to me that she come to that conclusion on her own, that she discover that her own strengths and passions would be different from her friends' ... and she did.

Belle is obviously not old enough to have any sort of in-depth conversation regarding that, though. Instead, I tried to explain to her that boys can play with Barbies if they want to ("Haven't you seen a boy hairdresser?" I asked her, to which she replied, "Yes, but they only cut boys' hair" ... this child is insanely observant, I tell you) just like girls can play with balls and trucks. There was still doubt in her eyes, though, and that makes me so darn sad ... and a bit angry as well.

Although her two activities are karate and gymnastics, Belle's toys are heavy on the dress up clothes, the Barbies, and the house drudgery (yeah, who invented toy kitchens anyway?). Since she shares a name with a Disney princess, she happens to get a lot of toys, clothes, games, and books connected with that particular story. Do you think things would be different if I'd named her Jamie? Terry?

What can parents do to address this very real problem? You would like to think that children in the year 2010 would be exempt from this sort of gender stereotyping, but clearly it's still an issue. Any thoughts? Or is there even anything wrong with a little girl thinking that Barbies are better suited to her needs than ball?

From the Mouths of Babes

Conversation over Belle's breakfast waffle ...

BELLE: Why didn't Daddy call to say good night last night?

ME: Remember, he told you he wouldn't be calling because he's in the hospital.

BELLE: Oh, yeah. Why is Daddy in the hospital?

ME: He's getting help from the doctor so he will feel better.

BELLE: Does that mean he's going to stop drinking again? (Gives a cynical laugh that should never come from the mouth of a five-year-old)

Children realize so much more than what we give them credit for. It breaks my heart that my children have had to endure what's happened in the last year--and to hear my innocent, angelic little girl sounding like a bitter old woman :(

Branching Out: Monster Trucks and Electrified Hair

I have a pretty quiet life in the great scheme of things. My hobbies and endeavors are generally suited to simple and mellow pasttimes like reading, writing, walking on the beach, that sort of stuff.

I had an insane weekend. Just ... freaking insane. I'm at a very odd juncture, and it just felt so good to do stuff so ridiculously out of character. Does this mean I am going off the deep end, or is it healthy?

After I got out of work on Friday, I brought Addie home (per her request), then Belle and I went back to my school to watch the boys basketball team. Andy met us there, and we watched a great game (we won!) then went out to dinner, where we were very immature with mussels.



Andy won tickets on the radio and was so excited about winning tickets on the radio that he wasn't sure what he won tickets to. Yeah ... a Monster Truck show. I wasn't going to go at first because I am not exactly a member of the Monster Truck scene, to say the least, but it seemed like potentially a good opportunity to contemplate sociology, so I figured I'd go. We went out to dinner with my friend B.J. then hit the Monster Truck event full force.

So this is a truck named (called?) Grave Digger.



And here's one called Mutt Monster, or something like that (it's a giant dog-looking thing ... driven by a woman, too, which was very cool).



Belle and Andy's daughter Dawn came as well, so earplugs were a necessity. Here's Andy putting in Belle's earplugs.





I was a little overwhelmed by all the excitement ...



Andy was pretty into the whole Monster Truck thing. I kind of think he's a loser for it ;)



So to regain some semblance of cultural sanity, we hit the Museum of Science in Boston on Sunday. It was amazing. There's a Harry Potter exhibit that just blew my mind ... if you are a fan of the Harry Potter books and will be anywhere near Boston before February 21st, I strongly urge you to go. It was just unbelievable!

In vintage me and Andy fashion, we had half a pizza left and were bringing it out to the car so we didn't have to carry it around when we decided it would be a really good idea to rent a locker instead. Here is our locker with leftover pizza (don't worry, there was a cover for it ... the picture just seems more entertaining when you can see the pizza in a locker) and Belle and Dawn's wands from the Harry Potter exhibit.



We saw a lot of other really cool stuff there, notably a juggling performance that taught the concept of atoms and an Omni Theater presentation about Antarctica. So neat! We ended up watching a show about electricity that got pretty interactive at one point ... well, for me, anyway :)



So am I regressing into who I used to be or am I progressing into a happier and more well-rounded person? I don't know, but either way, this was definitely a weekend of branching out ... and I don't think that's ever a bad thing.

Wild Saturday Nights Don't End When You Have Kids ... They Just End Earlier : )

I just got back from dinner out. I won a rubber chicken from a waitress dressed up as Monica Lewinsky. Yes, I'm serious. No, I'm not drunk. And man, did I have a blast : )

Let me explain ...

A couple of weeks ago, Belle and I had lunch at this

truly amazing restaurant that specializes in chicken wings but has pretty much everything you can imagine on its menu (and reading the menu is an exercise in hilarity itself!). After our delicious meal of "Spongebob Cheesepants" and "The George Michael" (a pulled pork burrito--I'm telling you, READ THE MENU ... you will pee yourself), our waiter very kindly (heh!) mentioned to my five-year-old that, on the nights of the 23rd and 24th, Wild Willy himself (this giant chicken mascot thing) would be present along with a variety of Halloween festivities.

Belle can't remember to brush her teeth without a stern reminder. She's doing well if she's changed her underwear on her own (yes, I check). I'm not confident that she remembers her phone number, but that kid remembered without question that we WOULD be at Wings Your Way on Saturday the 24th. There was no way in hell I was getting out of it. The fact that Addie is at a marching band competition and my mother is at a UNH hockey game with my uncle made it even harder to try to distract Belle long enough to let dinnertime pass. I finally figured that, what I couldn't avoid, I might as well try to enjoy.

And we had a blast : )

First, Belle was given her own pumpkin to decorate.



She had clearly inherited my artistic (in)ability, but it was fun. She was told by the server that she could bring it home or put it on display anywhere in the restaurant, so Belle very seriously said to the server after finishing, "Excuse me, I'd like to put my pumpkin on display, please." It was quite funny : ) I have a good pic of her "on display" pumpkin, by the way, but it shows Belle's real name and that's not how I flow. Suffice it to say, it fits right into this lovely atmosphere of cobwebs and chicken feet painted on the wall:



This was followed by more art,



Dinner (the obvious low point of our evening),



and Worm Pudding, a Halloween treat provided to children in costume--since Belle was in full princess attire, complete with her "royal scepter" (and yes, this is what she refers to the 99 cent wand I got at Rite Aid as), she was clearly covered (although less than impressed with the whole worm pudding thang).



By this point, it was just about time for the evening's highlight: a visit from Wild Willy, the giant chicken. Belle was quite distraught when he started in a different location of the restaurant, watching carefully (and not very patiently) as the guy in the chicken suit made his rounds,



But it was all worth it in the end:



And then I won the rubber chicken, which is a story unto itself, but the point of this post is not to show you how gorgeous Belle is in her Halloween (ahem) finery or even to provide a recommendation to Wings Your Way (located on the New Hampshire seacoast with a satellite restaurant on campus at UNH--don't ask why I know that, and definitely don't ask if I've been there ;)). It's that I was reminded that wild (pun partially intended) and crazy and silly and ridiculous things can happen when you're out with your children. The easy laughter and goofy times don't end when you--ahem--grow up.

It's seven o'clock right now, and not too many years ago, I wouldn't even have been started having fun on a Saturday night. The phrase, "I won a rubber chicken from Monica Lewinsky" would have had a completely different context. Now, I'm in my pajamas while Belle makes Halloween posters of her own invention (okay, she's creative--she just doesn't color in the lines :)) and the dogs have been fed and out and back in and all is right with the world.

I'm going to go read Belle a story now. And give her an extra kiss : )

Isn't it funny when the universe reminds you what's really important?

Parental Intuition

Parents seem to have a magical sixth sense when it comes to their children. This is a good thing, of course ... but it can be very frightening at the same time.

Addie, Belle, and I spent the Fourth of July at the beach house with my mother, my brother Adam and his fiancee Colleen, my niece and nephew, Colleen's brother and his little girl, and Pythagorus, who came down for the afternoon and early evening (I'm afraid to put it in writing, but we seem to be back on the right path ... hope this doesn't jinx the progress that's been made).

Anyway, I was holding Belle at one point and noticed that her eye was a little red, almost like she'd bumped it on something. I asked her about it pretty closely, of course, but she said she didn't recall hitting her eye on anything. I was a little bit suspicious of this because Belle often claims that she didn't fall down and hurt herself if she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing (such as spinning around in circles or running amok with the dogs). Still, because I'm paranoid, I showed it to my mother and was assured that it was probably a bug bite or something equally innocuous.

Belle's eye got progressively worse yesterday afternoon. It almost looked like she'd had a stroke or something, which scared me to death, as you can imagine. Here's the picture I took yesterday afternoon to send to my mother for her input:



I didn't end up sending it to her since I called her instead and she reassured me that it was more than likely just a bug bite. She suggested that I continued giving Belle her Claritin and think about getting some Benadryl for her. This was when I was really freaking out since Belle is on Sulfa for a bladder infection (Belle is almost never sick but, when she is, it seems to come in tidal waves) and I was afraid she was having an allergic reaction to it.

When she woke up this morning looking like this,



I took her to the emergency room. I'm very glad I did. They weren't sure what started the swelling (they agreed that it was probably a bug bite), but it was starting to cross the line into cellulitis and maybe a more serious eye infection. Because Belle was already on an antibiotic, the doctor had to check and see if the Sulfa should be fighting a cellulitis kind of infection (turns out the answer was no, so Belle's on another round of antibiotics, this time Augmentin). They also checked her vision since she couldn't open one of her eyes (this was a little funny, actually, since they used a chart with pictures instead of letters and, being Belle, she got said "nest" instead of "apple" and "horse barn" instead of "house"--my kid is an odd duck, let me tell you :-)) and gave her a coloring book and crayons for being so brave.

Today was my first day of summer school, and I was actually scared that I was going to be late. Belle's day care was closed today because of the holiday, so Addie was on babysitting patrol. I was really worried leaving the girls (not because Addie isn't a great babysitter--she is--but just because I was worried sick about Belle's eye), but it all turned out fine. Interestingly, Addie read the discharge papers from the emergency room and put warm cloths on Belle's eye per their recommendation, so she actually looked better when I got home than she had when I left.

What fascinates me about this whole event is that I had a bad feeling on Saturday, back when Belle's eye was just a little bit puffy, that there was potentially something really wrong. I felt this even more strongly last night, and of course this morning I knew that I had to take her to the doctor as soon as I could. Fortunately, Belle is on the road to recovery, but the doctor said it was good that I'd brought her in because it could have been very bad if she wasn't treated.

Part of me is beating myself up, of course, because I had that feeling that I needed to bring her back on Saturday and I didn't. Still, it really didn't look bad on Saturday so I probably would have been laughed out of the doctor's office, but parental instinct is a powerful thing.

What are your thoughts on the intuition of a parent? Do you find that the "gut feeling" of a parent is usually right?

Spoiled Children--WHY?

Belle graduated from pre-school today. I am extremely proud of her for this accomplishment and thoroughly enjoyed the songs her class sang as well as the presentation of diplomas. It was very cute.

I have to mention that I felt, as always, a little out of place. I think I'm the only mother that works a full-time job, so I'm not part of the coterie of mothers. Belle's babysitter, one of the kindest and most dedicated human beings on earth, drops her off and picks her up. She is a lot more a part of the school world than I am. I don't like social situations where I don't know people well anyway, so putting that together with my neurosis that these people are looking at me and thinking, "Yeah, she's having a babysitter raise her kid because she works a full-time job" and they're probably not even thinking that at all, but it just makes me incredibly anxious. But anyway, that's a story for another day.

After the ceremony, families were invited to a local park to eat lunch and give the kids a chance to play together. This was where things headed south quickly.

I expect my children to be respectful, kind, and polite at all times. This has been an expectation since they were babies, and both Belle and Addie always make me proud with their behavior in public. Of course, both Belle and Addie have been carried kicking and screaming out of Chuck E. Cheese's and the play area at the mall because they did not want to leave. Both learned that behavior like that meant they didn't get to go back for a long time and, when they did, they needed to follow the rules. To me, it doesn't seem that complicated. You make sure your kids know the rules, you enforce them, you help you kids process any behavior issues, and you give logical consequences when necessary (as in, if Belle throws a ball at her sister, she loses the ball; if Addie is on MySpace when she's supposed to be doing her homework, she loses her internet).

I kept pretty close to Belle as she moved from slide to swing to seesaw; she's five, after all, and when there are thirty or forty kids running around, I don't think too much supervision is possible. This is especially true since a lot of parents seemed to think it was okay to let their children run amok while they stood around talking with each other a fair distance away, completely oblivious to what their children were doing.

The prime example I can think of is the little girl who held up the line at the slide by climbing up the other side of the stairs and standing on the ladder, refusing to move. I didn't feel like it was my place to say anything, and neither of the other two parents standing by the slide with a line of ten kids being held up by this one kid did either, evidently. Finally, a kid went and got "Sherry"'s mother, who came reluctantly.

Mother: Sherry, get down from there. The other kids can't get up.
Sherry: So?
Mother: There is a big line of kids waiting, and they can't move because you won't get down.
Sherry: So?
Mother: You need to get down from there right now!
Sherry: (with big huff better suited to an adolescent than a preschooler) Fiiiiiiine!
(At this point, Sherry starts swinging around one of the legs of the slide)
Mother: Sherry, get off the slide.
Sherry: You said not to climb on the ladder.
Mother: You've lost the privilege of going on the slide. Find something else to do.
Sherry: I want to go on the slide.
Mother: Fine. But make sure you are behaving yourself.
Sherry: Oh, I will.
(Mother goes back to social gathering; Sherry cuts the next kid in line and lays flat on the slide.)

When Belle finally got to the ladder of the slide, I told her that we'd be leaving after she went down the slide. She said, "Okay, Mommy." She came down the slide. She took my hand, and we walked together to the picnic table to get the remains of her lunch and to thank her teachers again. We talked about how we knew by the shape of leaves on one tree that it was a maple and by the white bark of another that it was a birch tree. She held my hand as we approached the parking lot. She thanked me for taking her to the park.

It's not like I think my children are perfect. They're not. It's just that I was overcome by how many spoiled children (Sherry was the worst, but she wasn't the only kid with issues like line-cutting, sand-kicking, and name-calling) there are in the world--and the correlation between misbehaving children and parents who were caught up in their own endeavors.

Perhaps it's just because it's a real treat for me to be able to spend a day with Belle, but I don't understand how people would rather spend time socializing with their backs turned than enjoy their children. It's not like I'm anti-social, nor do I think people should hover around their kids obsessively, but it seems like there's a happy medium. When it's children who are in the middle, shouldn't parents be willing to tilt the medium in a child's favor?

Struggling for Sibling Status

Believe it or not, my daughters almost never fight. Their one bone of contention, interestingly enough, involves my mother--their beloved Mimi. They had a real blow-out today ...

My cousin asked Belle to be the flower girl in her wedding. Naturally, Belle was thrilled at the prospect to be part of the attention and wear a pretty dress. She's a little fuzzy on what exactly a flower girl does, but she's stoked.

This morning, my mother called and wanted to know if Belle and I wanted to go to the bridal store in Nashua with my aunt and cousins. I had an eye doctor appointment at eleven (finally got my new contacts--woohoo!), a softball game to attend at one (several of my students were playing), and Addie had a haircut scheduled for three, so I was pretty tapped out for the day. My mother pointed out that it seemed that, while I might be busy, Belle seemed to be available. Long story short, Mimi took Belle for the day.

After Addie's haircut, we drove up the New Hampshire coastline, taking the scenic route to my mother's house. She and Belle were outside playing catch with Mollie when we got there, and they were very excited to share the details of the day. We had dinner (spaghetti and salad, mmmmmm :-)), and as we finished eating, I realized something interesting.

Addie was ripped. I mean, she was furious.

Obviously, she wasn't furious so much as she was jealous. She was the first granchild, and my parents spent a more active role in her early upbringing than most grandparents do. Therefore, Addie is used to being the light of Mimi's life. The only light of Mimi's life. My mother has always been very, very careful to make sure that Addie doesn't feel usurped from her position as princess-on-a-pedestal as far as her grandmother is concerned. However, today was unquestionably Belle's day. As far as I'm concerned, she deserved it--Addie has owned her grandmother's adoration and special moments with Mimi for fourteen years, while Belle has never had the same kind of experience. She was thrilled at the chance, thrilled at the day, thrilled at the flower girl prospect, and thrilled to be "Mimi's Girl" for a day.

I think what sent Addie over the edge was when Belle announced to her grandmother, "Mimi, I think I'm going to come live with you." Mimi said this was absolutely fine with her, and Addie's eyes just about popped out of her head. I guess Addie might as well get used to it, though--in addition to my girls, Mimi is now grandmother to Adam's little Pete (unspeakably cute, I might add) and Mary and Jon's baby is due any day now.

Do you think most parents and/or grandparents have "favorites"? Is it possible for this title to be usurped? Do all kids feel like they are the favorites sometimes (I've said to both Belle and Addie when told that I like the other one better that they are both my favorite, depending on the day)? How devastating is it for a child to realize that they are not the one and only? Is "favorite status" really all it's cracked up to be, or is it a double-edged sword? Given the interesting triangle between Mimi, Addie, and Belle, who do you feel most badly for, if any of them?

It's not a big deal, really. I mean, everyone ended up happy, and Mimi had a great day with Belle and a great dinner with all of us. It just got me thinking about some of this stuff ...

Increments of Time Don't Always Coincide

I'm sitting in the parking lot at Addie's school waiting for her to get out of chorus.

I took half a personal day to go to a Mother's Day tea party at Belle's preschool. That got done at two, and I contemplated going home knowing that I had to pick Addie up at 3:30, but I had to go to the bookstore and stuff, so then I figured I'd take Belle to the bookstore so I didn't have to go later. It seemed logical that this would sufficiently entertain her for an hour or so, then it'd be pretty much time to get Addie.

Big mistake! Belle has my bookstore addiction, and her wish pile kept growing until I checked out in self-defense. Plus, there were some WEIRD people hanging around the train table in the kid section.

So then we had,like, forty minutes to kill. I'm a lousy mother--I took her to Burger King, where she got this horrible Star Trek toy that says, "Kirk to Enterprise" over and over every time she presses a button.

She keeps pressing the button. Like, she's pressing MY buttons.

We've been in the parking lot of Addie's school for what seems like forever (especially considering Captain Kirk), and I'm wondering how I could have planned out the timing of things this afternoon.

Are most people able to make a schedule and stick to it? Plan things out and have them work? Figure out when it would be worth it to go home, stare at the clock for five minutes, and then go pick up the person you're supposed to pick up?

Here's Addie ... Gotta run!

A Surprise Adventure: Spring in a New Hampshire State Park

Do you ever have those amazing days you aren't expecting? Just, true pleasure from an adventure that came out of the clear blue sky (or a husband saying, "Want to go for a ride, see what happens?)?



Pythagorus and I took Belle to one of the state parks at Lake Winnapasaukee and had a great day. Belle, naturally, wanted to take off her shoes to "see how cold the water was"



Well, you can probably see where this headed. The next thing we knew, she'd discovered a "stick"



And then felt inclined to raise it like a flagpole



Next, of course, was when she "accidentally" fell into the water and got her clothes totally soaked. Do you believe that look on her face for a second? Totally. Staged.



But Belle was a trooper. Dripping wet or not, she continued down the hiking trails (minus her sneakers, which felt "funny" because of the sand inside them ... I love five-year-olds).



Addie is on an adventure of her own which I will expound upon tomorrow, but today was a very special, very necessary bonding day for Pythagorus, Belle, and me.

Question for you: Write about one of those surprise gift days (or gift couple of hours ... I know whole days can be a stretch :-)) that came up when you were least expecting it. Leave it as a comment here so that readers can experience your joy--fleeting as it might have been--with you. Oh, and of course so you can relive it yourself : )

Have fun : )

Philosophy from a Five-Year-Old

Belle and I just had a fascinating conversation.

She asked me, "Back when there was no one in the world, how did people get born?" I just sat there with my mouth hanging open as she theorized about the sun growing people, a ghost getting married to a person and having a baby, or that people rained down from the sky.

Am I wrong to be completely flummoxed by this?

And, incidentally, my answer was to basically stutter out, "Uh, that's a really good question, baby."

How does one answer what might possibly be the ultimate question to a kid who hasn't started kindergarten yet? More importantly, what does it say about this child's thought process that she came up with this?

And if anyone has a good answer that I can offer Belle, that'd be much appreciated as well.

The Dichotomy of Daughters

There are nine years between my daughters. The only real con is that they kind of missed out on that sibling-as-peer thing, although Mary and I are only separated by two years and we actively disliked each other for most of our childhood (although my sister is absolutely my best friend now ... go figure). For the most part, I think this is a good thing.

Belle is five, and she utterly adores her sister. Whenever she gets sad or mad or any other emotion she feels strongly (and Belle is kind of mercurial ... she feels all emotions strongly), she'll wail, "I want my Addie!!!!!!!" And Addie, of course, thinks it's pretty cool that someone thinks she walks on water. She takes Belle to a lot of places and includes her to a surprising degree with her friends, who all think Belle's adorable, of course.

They are both on school vacation this week, and it just occurred to me how funny it is the different ways they're spending it.

This morning, for example, Belle had her requisite two cups of chocolate milk (it's like adults with coffee, I swear), put on her butterfly wings (don't ask), and danced around, putting on various shows. She's currently painting at the kitchen table. She has already trashed and cleaned her playroom this morning, something that happens repeatedly with Belle. It's kind of ironic that she's wearing butterfly wings since she's kind of like a butterfly, flitting from place to place, sampling the nectar and then moving on. She's a free spirit and a real character.



Addie is currently furious with me for waking her up early--I have a follow-up doctor visit from my pancreatitis hospitalization, and she's babysitting, but I got the time wrong and woke her up two hours before I needed to. Not to worry, though ... the next thing I know, her friend has pulled into our driveway with a cup of coffee from Dunkin' Donuts for her (I don't advocate giving my children caffeine, by the way ... this was a combination of guilt at waking her up early the one morning she could have slept in and the whole, "Eh, it's vacation" mentality). Anyway, Addie is already on the computer talking to people and doing the MySpace thing ... while she's texting other people on her cell phone ... while she's blaring her iPod ... while she's making plans for the rest of the week. She's such a teenager : ) (Oh, and I feel like I have to explain that the reason I don't post pics of Addie here is that she'd kill me. Slowly. In great pain.)

It's funny, though ... I'm probably going to go paint with Belle for awhile now and, when I'm ready for a break from the pre-school thought process ("What happens if you mix red and yellow? Do you know, Mommy? Did you know it makes orange? How about if we mix everything? Can we try? Can we try, Mommy? Huh? Huh?"), I can go upstairs to Addie's lair and hear the latest and the greatest in adolescent angst (I exaggerate--knock on wood, Addie's absolutely amazing).

Delectable dichotomy : )

Children's Natural Attraction to Water

Why is it that kids seem to have a natural attraction to water? Is it because water truly is the life-giving force? That's it's vital to sustaining existence?

Belle has discovered the joys of running water over the past few days. She's kind of turned in her chocolate milk/apple juice preferences in lieu of water (honestly, I'm okay with that). Moderately more annoying are the puddles that greet you when you walk into any of the bathrooms in the house (since Belle shares a bathroom with her sister, you can probably only imagine how enthused Addie is about this latest fad).

Still, there are positives. Handwashing has been a struggle in the past--"Did you wash your hands after you went potty, Belle?" "Yes, Mommy." "Really?" "No, I'm sorry. I'll go do it now."--and this probably has (pardon the pun) melted away. Same thing with brushing her teeth, although she was always pretty much willing to do that. It's just that she now does it every hour or so instead of just when she wakes up in the morning and right before she goes to bed.

And, of course, there's some good stories. Most notably, Belle took her sippy cup into the bathroom yesterday and closed the door. I listened to the water running for five minutes or so, then I finally figured I should go and make sure there weren't any major disasters transpiring. She looked at me with this self-satisfied look on her face and said, "Well, I think the outside of the cup is pretty clean. Do you think you could take the cover off now so I can get to the inside?"

Maybe you had to be there, but it was incredibly funny : )

So rather than toys, games, books, television, or company, Belle wants water. When I got thinking about it, I realized that Addie went through a phase where she spent an awful lot of time on a stool in front of the bathroom sink.

I wonder what this means?