Anger is, to me, the strongest--and the strangest--emotion.
There are a couple of characteristics to my anger that are I guess maybe a bit unique. In general, I have an extremely long fuse--it takes A LOT to make me angry--but an extremely volatile temper when I finally get there. We're talking car-kicking, door slamming, cell phone-throwing, screaming obscenities angry. I don't get there very often.
And then there's this passive-aggressive thing I do (passive-aggression is something I hate in others, by the way--I'm a hypocrite sometimes, although I hate those too), most often in writing. When I'm angry and I write about it, there's always this bitter, acerbic, downright mean tone, stuff that I would never dream of saying to anyone's face and stuff that has at times gotten me into varying degrees of trouble if I don't rip it up fast enough.
Usually when I'm angry, though, I just cry. That's me in my typical angry state--crying because I have to let it out of me somehow.
What's entertaining is that my students say to me all the time, "Do you ever get mad, Mrs. L? Like, ever?" I have not yelled at a single student in my current school (well, except as a joke, and the class knew it was a joke). It's hard to explain how one can have infinite (and in some cases, beyond infinite) patience with children, adolescents in particular, yet go postal on Verizon Wireless tech support or scream, "Motherfucker!" when you drop the shampoo in the shower or punch a wall or write angry letters or e-mails you never plan to send. I have never and would never raise a hand in anger to either Addie or Belle, yet I broke the blinker on one of my cars I slammed my hand down on it so hard.
Looking at my completed novel, I've found that I've shared aspects of my own anger throughout. Interestingly, it's never as simple as saying, "Character A" is a passive-aggressive letter writer, "Character B" destroys objects when angry, and so on. It's more the different mixes each character gets of how I see and view and feel anger.
Anger is probably the most difficult emotion for me to write about, and I'm just wondering if it's because anger is the least easily defined, understood, or controlled feeling of what I, a human being first and a writer after, experience.
PS. Writing helps my anger a lot. Like, beyond a lot. And I'm not talking about those passive-aggressive epistles that almost always get destroyed before they see the light of day. I'm talking writing like this : ) I wonder why that is?
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You know, I agree. Anger is pretty hard to write. I think it's because everybody is angry in different ways and for different reasons. And anger is layered a lot of the time. Like, say, somebody seems to be mad about a broken vase but they're actually pissed off about something their brother did two days ago. And maybe they're only so mad at their brother because what their brother did mirrored something that their backstabbing best friend did six months beforehand.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'm like, anyway. When I get mad, it's about a lot of things. Sometimes I just keep things bottled up and something stupid comes along and sets me off.
I was steaming mad when I wrote this:
ReplyDeletehttp://jjinla.blogspot.com/2009/03/im-pretty-laidback-person-but.html
Let me know what you think of my 'anger style'.
I don't usually get angry.
ReplyDeleteI got angry in class ONCE. That class had just pushed me to the limit--and then we started a lesson on the Holocaust and one of the rude kids made a very rude Jewish "joke," and that was it.
But here's the thing: I'm by nature a loud and passionate person. I yell over my kids all the time--my classroom is often a chaotic mess.
But when I was angry, my voice fell to a whisper, and all 30 of those 16 year old kids just stared at me as if I were about to rip their throats out. That happened 3 years ago, and those kids are now seniors--and they STILL talk about that time I got mad!
But...I think because I am so slow to anger, and because when I do get angry, my anger is a cold, hard thing, I have a lot of difficulty in writing anger. My beta readers are always encouraging me to push my character's rage more. To me, they are angry--because I can see them seething inside. But the reader can't, so I have to work doubly hard not only to show anger, but to show believable anger.
Hmmm. I feel like my characters get angry a lot quicker than I would. Maybe it's easier to make them channel my anger than actually flip my shit on someone. When I get angry, I usually cry, or I have a good curse session on my own. VERY RARELY have I verbalized my anger at someone (outside family; family is different, lol). I try to avoid confrontation.
ReplyDeleteWhen my characters get angry, they usually throw things or yell. They're very aggressive about it. I think I try to make them do things I don't have the courage to do myself.
To people above: I found it scariest when my teachers who didn't normally get angry go into that quiet, whispery anger because then you know they're really pissed.
I find that if I'm angry when I write, what comes out is rotten writing. If I try to write 'anger' I use method acting techniques and get inside the person's head.
ReplyDeleteElectric Spec did a short blog on this a few days ago.
http://electricspec.blogspot.com/2009/05/writing-is-like-acting.html
I have quite the temper, I have to say. I'm very opinionated, and I think that contributes to it. I have to remind myself that not everyone things/acts/believes the way I do - and that's okay. I'm nice, but some things just "bug me." That's what I always say. "That bugs me." LOL.
ReplyDeleteAnger is hard to write, I think, because it's so different for every person. Some people clam up, some shout, some snap, some simmer under the surface. Either way you choose to write it, I think it will resonate with someone.
I was a very hot temper person and I have changed very dramatically. Rarely, it may come back and I think it is alright to do so. This is one way of releasing your pressure and tension.
ReplyDeleteCheers and have a lovely day,
Writing is a good venting mechanism for lots of emotions. Glad I have it. That and chopping veggies saves a lot on therapy bills. LOL
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting post. Hmmm, I like writing anger because it's so passionate and STRONG! I'm like you a little, I don't get angry easily. And many times I cry.
ReplyDeleteI think, in writing anger, we should know why the character is truly upset, even if the character doesn't know. Like, is the character mad at the hero because deep down she's scared? Fear often manifests as anger. Or, like when you're waiting on hold for tech support, maybe you're really angry because you feel like they cheated you and now are not taking responsibility? I think the physical reactions for these types of anger would be different. What do you think?
Really interesting questions here. :-)