Thursday, April 23, 2009

Ridiculously Funny: My Brilliant Sister and I Trying to Communicate via Facebook

As I've no doubt mentioned, my sister Mary is a scientist. She's brilliant. She's also expecting a baby and lives halfway across the country and I worry about her. I became especially worried when I got this from her:

"A riddle: If a horse pees on some lettuce leaves in France in 1975, will this be relevant to the life of one Mary C. Jones in 2009?"

I of course went into panic mode. I started Googling horse urine, 1975, lettuce, France, and anything else I could think of. In the meantime, I sent her this on Facebook:
"Well, clearly the answer is yes ... but elaboration would be nice : ) Oh, and YOUR NIECE ... well, check this out asap. I think we have another scientist on our hands ..."
and then ...
" Okay, I'm googling like hell and getting stuff about steroids and estrogen. Gaaaaaah."

So then I text her, because I'm really getting nervous at this point. She texts me back that she'll respond on Facebook momentarily. So this is what I get ... (and this is adapted a bit so Mary can hang onto her anonymity ... it's not her fault she's my sister : ))
" Point 1: wow for Belle's question!!! I'll have to muse on that.
Point 2: The chapter I'm involved in writing (the one where I send you name origin jazz from time to time)...the author of the previous edition was a, and put in absurd amounts of detail, some of which was little more than urban legend and was never published.
Point 3: I was writing about a species called Mycoplasma equigenitalium, which (as one could guess) infects the urogenital tract of horses. this gem appeared in the previous version: "A single isolate was obtained from the surface of a field lettuce plant in France."
Point 4: The preceding was never published, indicating that it is of dubious merit.
Point 5: In summation, a horse whizzed in a field in France in the 70s, and nearly 35 years later, this seemingly meaningless event has crossed my path. Should this event be immortalized in the book? Why, who am I to play God?"

So then we had some further sisterly harassment which had me literally rolling on the floor laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face (it was at this point that Pythagorus got home from work ... he didn't exactly see the humor ... sigh, those mathematicians are so damn serious ...). Here's a basic run-down (mostly cut and pasted but adapted again to respect Mary's anonymity ... but I thought you'd enjoy reading about what stupid tools Mary and I are : )

Mary: Wait, you were Googling lettuce and horse pee? That's dedication!

KLo: So here you are laughing at me for Googling lettuce and horse pee because I thought there was something wrong ... and let me just tell you, you really need to do the same. You CANNOT BELIEVE what is out there!

Mary: Yes, I am having a pharmaceutical problem for which the only possible solutions are:
a.) lettuce (note: must be from France) or
b.) horse piss
You have a vivid imagination

KLo: I didn't know if Mom had some bizarre experience that was impacting you now ... yeah, I have a vivid imagination. Sue me! Actually, 1975, I'd have been the one screwed by the equine piss.

Mary: For some reason, I was having a very existential moment. Why have I been saddled with these types of questions? He he...saddled.

KLo: You need to stop this or I'm going to pee my--OH SHIT! You're now officially going to have name the baby "Edward" so I can call him Mr. freaking Ed

Mary: Nooo! That GD horse doesn't need any further immortalization!

Ah, laughter, that elixir for all. Thanks for the stomach cramps from laughing too hard, Mary, you spastic little bug. I miss you more than you can imagine <3!!!!!!!!

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