Thursday, April 23, 2009

Help! Does this Page One Work?

I've started editing Novel #1 (that's the real, complete, formerly ready-to-rock one) again, and I took out a "pre-prologue". Here's the first page ... would you want to keep reading based on this? I'm not sure if this is a strong enough for the book's beginning.

Any assistance would be much appreciated : )
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I.
(Susy; Emerson, NH; September, 2006)

I felt revulsion toward my son today.

There have been times in the past that Seth (and, to be fair, his siblings) has upset me, annoyed me, overwhelmed me … but never anything like this.

Never before have I been unsure I wanted to lay claim to him.

“He’s only twelve,” my husband told me when I called his cell in near-hysterics.
“He doesn’t know what it means.” He let me rant and rave for another minute or two before interrupting to say that he was going to call the school as soon as he hung up to request that he be called first in the event of further disciplinary issues concerning our children.

Of course, I started laughing. “That isn’t funny.”

“Yeah, I’m getting the impression that you really feel that way,” he said soberly, only making me laugh harder. “Okay, I’m in the middle of a meeting, but I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”

“Is there any way you could pick the kids up from school?”

“Sure, no problem.” He paused for a minute. “Honestly, Susy, it really isn’t that big a deal.”

“No, it wouldn’t be to you,” I said, more sharply than I’d intended.

He didn’t say anything for a long second. “You’re not implying …”

“What, that you’d ever refer to a scholarship student as welfare trash? That you’d use the word spic? No, I know you wouldn’t. That’s almost part of the problem, that