Thursday, October 7, 2010

Alone

Do you ever get the feeling that you're completely alone, that everyone you ever loved and trusted and believed in and blah blah blah turned out to be nothing that you thought they were?

It is so frightening to realize that, no matter what you do, no matter what you give, it is never quite good enough.

I wouldn't mind so much if I hadn't been burned so severely in the past two years. Family, friends, significant others ... and it's not really their fault, it's just that nobody seems to be who I think they are.

I guess I'm just a very bad judge of human nature.

And so I will stop believing in people.

Haha, that's funny ... believing in people is my fatal flaw, the very essence of who I am. I'll feel differently tomorrow.

For tonight, though ... I am alone in the universe, and it hurts so much.

7 comments:

  1. Yes, I do. Especially in the last year. Oh sure, they're there when the chips are down, but on a daily basis? They're nowhere to be found.

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  2. Eh, you know, it's a lot easier when you decide to trust in yourself, and in no one else. It makes things very clear, very easy, and you'll never be disappointed, because you expected nothing from other people in the first place.

    I'm serious. It's a different mindset, but it's a very effective one. And it dovetails with the concept of "the only person who's holding you back is you."

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  3. I'm sorry things are rough right now. I hope they are looking up soon.

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  4. I don't often comment to folks on the Internet, but I enjoyed your Dark Tower page quite a bit so here we go!
    We are alone in the universe, together and apart. I believe we are the eyes and hands of the universe observing itself, akin to leaves on a tree that can see and know and ask. Each is incomplete without the other... We are the end result of 13.7 billion year old process and that's only the part of the process we can see.
    In the face of that, why should we spend our little pathetic portion of the time allotted to us puling and moaning over... human nature? Our species never fails to disappoint and altruistic behaivior is the exception, not the norm.
    I believe Roland would agree that for the most part, people are stupid, dirty and dangerous. So don't let them steal your joy!

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  5. Late at night and I have had alcohol. I don't see any reply or interaction here... Forgive my ignorance but how do we do that?

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  6. Welcome to the club!

    It is not scary, it is, as it always has been. The only real power any of us has is to do what we will. No one can help, no one can really "get it".

    All my best dear.

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  7. Thank you all....I truly appreciate it. :-)

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