Tonight was the student showcase at my school, basically parent/teacher conferences part deux. I've taken to Facebook to express my woes, namely that the very mention of parent/teacher conferences makes me nauseous.
No, I'm not exaggerating. The fact that I only threw up once today is a major victory in terms of my nerves on parent/teacher conference night.
What got me thinking is the response that some of my Facebook friends had. The overwhelming message (and this came from people who know me in real life, one of whom was my best friend in high school) was, "You? Shy? Are you CRAZY? You're joking, right?"
When I've tried to explain this in the past, people tend to say, "You're really funny, K, your freaking JOB is to stand up in front of people all day." Well, yes, that may be true ... but I stand up in front of children all day, children who think I know what I'm talking about. I don't stand up in front of people that might want to criticize what I do, or question my abilities, or imply that last year's teacher (or the one they'll have next year) was a better match.
The craziest thing is, I've never had this happen to me. It's just my own ridiculous perfectionist complex that gets me so worked up. I do stutter, though, and repeat myself and lose my train of thought of do things like refer to "snowboards" as "snowmobiles" and ... well, yeah, you get the idea. I am stricken by a wave of shyness.
And people don't believe that this is possible. I might be a teacher, I might be kind of no holds barred in real life and I'll say what I'm going to say and do what I'm going to do (I told a guy who was smoking right by the door to the ski school to take his cigarettes elsewhere on Sunday ... and I'll walk into Burger King and correct their sign if they say "Whopper's are $.99.") ... but when it comes to parent/teacher conferences, shy is the only word that comes to mind. Well, shy and vomit : (
So do you believe someone can be situationally shy? If not, why? If so, what suggestions might you have for getting over it :)?
P.S. Formspring is open. Ask me questions HERE, no matter how strange : ) I'm enjoying this!
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Dramamine. Lots of it.
ReplyDeleteActually, Toastmasters will fix it. Unless you've already done that. Then it'll have to be the Dramamine.
Most definitely, yes. Because I'm the same way...but PT conferences freak me the heck out! And I run all the school's student publications! I mean, seriously, I often start confrontation, but I hate the idea of handling any of it at a PT conference. You are not alone in this.
ReplyDeleteI was always shy talking to anyone, and if I had to get up in front of people, it was even worse. My first full-time job out of college, they sent me to a 'Presentation Excellence' class, which said that the people to whom I'm talking are there to see me, not the other way around. I have the upper hand when I'm in my element, and only the weak and foolish will mock my efforts.
ReplyDeleteAs for malaprops, I routinely refer to the dishwasher as 'the microwave' and call Home Depot 'Best Buy'. Then I get the look, and correct myself.
I'm not even a teacher, but the idea of PT conferences scare me. Parents can be very critical of teachers, even good ones. Good luck! I'm sure you'll do fine. You seem like the kind of teacher I'd want to have. :)
ReplyDeletei can tell you that even as a parent of a child who the teacher loves and only says glowing things about (to the point where it got quite embarrassing), the parents feel as much like throwing up as you do. the whole set-up and concept is nauseating if you think about it...
ReplyDeleteSaw this just now, as I was trolling through the blogosphere:
ReplyDelete"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." --Dr. Seuss
Seemed to fit.
I do that too. I'm always VERY nervous at conference time. One bad conference will do that too you. I always think about what is the worst thing this parent can say to me and I come up with a response.
ReplyDeleteI completely believe in situational shyness. I think it's a really comment part of being human and in our comfort zones verse out of our comfort zones.
good luck today
I'm the same way. When I tell people I'm shy, particularly in a new group of people, I hang back and like to observe more.
ReplyDeleteMost friends laugh when I also say the same thing and only my sister has seen first hand when I retreat a bit.
What do I do? Sometimes, I pretend I play act to get me over the initial hump and other times I remind myself it's only for 2 hours.
Most times when I'm in a new situation, someone approaches me and breaks the ice. Maybe most of the parents will put you at ease.
Regarding the post you killed todayish... I would say, don't feel guilty about "not blogging enough." There is no "enough." If you have time and you feel like it, you post. If you don't have time/don't feel like it, you don't. A lot of people feel pressure to post. It's not like a scheduled performance. Think of it as performance art, with no schedule, no admission. If it happens, and people see it, that's great. If it doesn't, that's fine too.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it happens. At least long enough for Goodle to catch it.
That happens to me, too...shy in some situations not in others. I think it has to do with pressure being on versus me just being myself.
ReplyDeleteMarvin, I agree--perf art is a great analogy.