Sunday, April 26, 2009

Are Pets Part of the Family ... or Just Sort of an Appendage?

There's a certain irony that I wrote a post yesterday about my pets, and we ended up having quite an adventure with my cat Charlie last night. (Charlie is a girl, by the way ... Addie named her after a movie character because the people we got her from as a kitten told us she was a boy and, by the time we learned the truth, she was already Charlie).

I hope nobody is offended by this, but Charlie is referred to by many as "The Emo Kitty." If she was a human, for example, she would be a cutter. Since she's a cat, she just bites herself. Repeatedly. The vet tried various anti-anxiety pills for her, but if you've ever tried to give a cat pills with one of those pill-injectors, you can probably see where this is going. It made her a hundred times more anxious to have a pill forced down her throat, so we finally gave up on that, treat her "emo bites" with Bacitracin, and life goes on.

She is also bulimic. It's not possible to give Charlie treats (including wet food) because she scarfs it down in an intense binge, and then ... well, you know. She throws up if she is nervous (and the cat was treated for severe anxiety--when is she not nervous?), she throws up if she is lonely, she throws up if she is bored, she throws up on Addie's homework far too often to be a coincidence ...

I have kind of a theory about this, actually. I'm not a cat person at all, but I'm definitely a sucker. One of my co-workers a few years ago was telling me that her cat had kittens and that she was trying to find a good home for them. I was very much not interested. She kept at me, though, and I finally gave in when she told me that her husband was going to drown the last kitten (my poor Charlie) in the toilet if they didn't find someone to take her. No wonder she has issues!

The thing is, though, despite all this, Charlie is a very happy cat (I swear this is true). She's more like a dog than a cat, actually ... she'll be waiting at the door whenever I get home from work, she sleeps on my pillow at night, she loves to cuddle and be played with (Pythagorus has a laser pointer from work, and he'll move it all over the house--keeps her occupied for hours).

I mention that because it was kind of hard to explain Charlie to the emergency vet. How do you say, "She's mentally ill, but really quite happy?" when she has huge bald patches? Is it possible to explain that your regular vet is aware of Charlie's eccentricities and just sort of goes with them as long as she's healthy?

Yeah, we ended up at the emergency vet yesterday, after a nice trip to Lake Winnapasaukee, because Charlie was peeing blood when we got home. And crying. And hissing when I held her (this had NEVER happened before). So I think the emergency vet thought we were a little weird (we had to bring Belle with us and she was in the rarest of rare forms, Charlie's cat carrier decided to break so you had to hold it a certain way when you were holding it or she would have been able to escape, and so on), but whatever.

They took Charlie out back to get a urine sample, and my crazy cat knocked over a bottle of alcohol and rolled around in it. Oh, Charlie ... But anyway, she had a bad bladder infection, which made me feel like a real jerk for not noticing earlier (the vet said her pee had red blood cells in it, white blood cells in it, and then big clumps that they couldn't identify at first ... they were epithelial cells from her bladder--I'm a crappy kitty mama), but they gave her an antibiotic (in liquid form, thank goodness ... no pill-injector, or I don't know what we would have done) and we went home.

What I can't get out of my mind, though, is that we saw three animals euthanized while we were there (well, we didn't see, of course, but you could tell what was going on in that back room). We had to put down our beloved elderly golden retriever Puck a few years ago, and it was horrible. Both Pythagorus and I went in with Puck and told her we loved her over and over and held her while the doctor put her out of her pain. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but Puck had been my dog for fourteen years, and I didn't want her to die alone.

You can't put a definition on grief, of course, but the owners of the three animals that were euthanized while we waited for Cuckoo Charlie's urinalysis seemed to approach the imminent loss of their pets very differently.

Is it rare to see your pets as part of your family? Do you find it's as traumatic to lose a pet as a family member (part of me wants to phrase that differently because Charlie and Sonja are as much my family members as ... well, the human sector)?

17 comments:

  1. No our pets are definitely part of the family. My parents got a new cat several years ago that developed this strange webbing around her heart (it was genetic) and they took her to angel memorial to have surgery, but even though she made it through the surgery she ended up crashing in the night and they let her go. My father was devasatated. Months later if he found one of her toys, he'd break down and cry. It was really harder on him than my mom. Now they have two cats and they love them to pieces. Definitely family. Those cats are treated better than me. *pout* LOL

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  2. I believe pets are a big part of the family. I broke down when my cat passed on due to kidney failure. They are the only part of the family that never looks or talks down to you, is willing to listen to all your rants, and only asks for an occasional belly rub in return.

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  3. J and I were just discussing something similar last night, regarding animals and their personalities. We couldn't fathom the mindset of seeing a pet (or wildlife or livestock, for that matter) as "just a dumb animal", because our boys are so different from each other. Ichi was a third variant entirely, even though they were all the same breed of the same animal. They clearly have their own personalities.

    As you know, putting Ichi down was easily the hardest decision we have ever had to make. We both went with her, even though neither of us wanted to watch her die. But it was the same thing: she was our cat, and we loved her very much, and we didn't want her to be alone. We both cried a lot, and the vet hugged us and then sent us a card with a page-long message about how clear it was that we loved her. She also remembered humorous little details about her (and as you recall, Ichi was quite emo herself)-it was very nice. Anyway, my point was that I remember wondering why we seemed to have left an impression on the vet. I wondered how anyone could possibly act differently toward their pets. I guess they do :-(

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  4. Oh, yes, Ichi was one in a million :) I'll never forget her propensity for barfing on bills. Maybe it runs in the feline contingency of our family ...

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  5. I want a cat really badly so that I can feel like I have a bigger family. My mom loves her two cats and would cry and cry if anything happened to them :(

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  6. Not a bit rare...I grieved for a long time after our dog was put down...he was family...and it must be common to feel that way as "Marley and Me" has been a huge success! Touches many of our hearts! Your cat is quite a personality! BTW, my dog thought he was a cat...and would climb up on the back of the sofa...sometimes leap off of it...always making friends with cats as well...we had to teach him to bark...funny dog...Cheers! And hope Charlie feels better soon!

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  7. I didn't expect my dog Sirius to become such a part of my life...but he is. I can't stand to think of what we'll do when the time comes...He's only 3 years old now, but the thought of him needing to be put down makes me squirm in pain.

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  8. I think there is an in-between kind of love for pets, though I suspect I might get panned for saying this. I would also be disturbed if I saw/heard people putting their pets down without a second thought. I have been very sad when I've lost pets, and certainly have mourned them, but I have to imagine that losing a child/parent/close friend would be absolutely devastating and I daresay I hope it would be more so than losing a pet...

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  9. No no no on cats. [See Colby's Angie-Hates-Cats vid at my place!] But we love our dawgs. Had my last Boston for 16 years, and now a new pup.

    Think I'll skip the cat news and read back on posts I've missed. :)

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  10. Moonlight Dancer--I know what you mean ... I spent the first thirty years of my life competing with my siblings for my mother's attention--and then she got a dog :) The thought of your dad crying over cat toys just twinges at my heartstrings : (

    Michelle--You're absolutely right--pets want nothing more than to love and be loved. We could all learn lessons from them, I think.

    Jen--Cats definitely make for a bigger family--but in much the same way as babies do lol.

    Sniffles and Smiles--I didn't even make the connection with "Marley and Me", although I should have given its massive popularity ... sometimes I'm pretty dim : ) And thank you, Charlie is feeling much better : ) Antibiotics are pretty amazing!

    Beth--Sirius ... what a great name for a dog : ) I don't even have to ask where it came from (well, unless I'm wrong, which is always a good possibility :-)). Enjoy every second with him ... I miss my Puck every day and cringe at the thought of something happening to Sonja (and the crazy Miss Charlie)

    JLKCA2--Actually, I see where you're coming from and I totally respect you for saying it. I got thinking about your point ... while I was worried sick about Charlie and certainly brought her to the vet as soon as I realized that something was really wrong, my thoughts turned to how huge emergency vet bills are a lot more quickly than they would have if, say, it had been one of my daughters (like, they suggested doing a lot of diagnostic stuff that would have run over $500, and I wouldn't have thought twice if it had been one of my daughters, but we were willing to do the antibiotic route after just a urinalysis with Charlie ... unless she doesn't get better, in which case we'll be shelling out the big bucks. But that's a different story :0))

    Angie--It's funny, I hated cats for most of my life. I'm still not a major fan of any cat but Charlie, and that's because she thinks she's a dog (she and my black lab play like puppies together ... very cute : )).

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  11. KLo,

    Certainly, I don't mind you sharing...that's what blogs are for :-) Thanks for your kind, and sympathetic comments! ~Janine XO

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  12. Sista, I spent $2000 on my last visit to the vet - so you can tell I all but birthed my cat. Family all the way!

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  13. Special Agent : )--And I'm sure your cat appreciates it all : ) You're fabulous, and I am so proud of how amazing your blog is : ) : ) : )

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  14. Pets are definetly part of the family.
    Sadly, we had to put two cats to sleep a year ago (NOT at the same time!) and that broke my heart. Tears do not come to me easily, but when I had to leave the vet without my sweet and beautiful cats, I cried my eyes out.

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  15. DD--I'm sorry about your cats :( Your comment made me run over to my pillow (where she sleeps ... she's kind of a princess) and kiss Charlie : )

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  16. I hope Charlie is on the road to recovery, poor little guy. I, too, have a special needs kitty. She never got her adult teeth and all her baby teeth have since rotted and needed to be removed. She has extra thumbs and... she vomits. We have to break her meals down into a teaspoon (of wet food for lack of teeth) every 20 minutes. Otherwise she pukes. Even still she sometimes vomits, especially if she's over-excited about eating because she didn't get her full meal the last time. She's also got crystals in her urine, which means that her food costs $1.75/day...

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  17. Nichole--Charlie is much better, thanks : ) Isn't it funny the steps we'll take for our pets? I guess that really does answer the question of whether we view them as family or appendages. Your kitty is lucky to have you : )

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