Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Inequity of Life (Special Economy Edition)

How is one supposed to feel when people doing the same job as you--people who have been in the workplace longer than you--lose their job due to budget cuts? Do you sagely say, "There is surely more to the story that I don't know?" Fret over why it wasn't you? Wonder why budget cuts are necessary at all (okay, I know that's not feasible, but ...)?

I take my job very seriously. I love what I do and put in 100% every day. I think I'm a pretty good addition to my workplace and have made every effort to be there not just for my students--which is, of course, vital--but also for my coworkers. Getting to know people well, having discussions about educational philosophy and teaching methods with them, and then having them be let go ...

All I know is, I feel like an asshole. Like, a hard-core asshole. How am I supposed to look at these people--one in particular--without them thinking, "If they hadn't hired her, I'd still have a job?" And they'd be right.

Yet I feel badly for the administration, too. These decisions are never easy, and I think it must weigh especially heavy when "laying off" an employee will impact a large number of children and not just the employee (personally and professionally) and the workplace (not great for morale).

If I was allowed to drink at this point in time, I would have gotten very drunk last night.