You might have noticed that my absence from the blogosphere has a direct correlation to the start of the new school year. To make the understatement of the decade, things are a little tense at work.
Whenever I start writing a post here, it turns in a direction that leads directly to work, and the nature of my job is such that I can't talk about it publicly. I don't mean to be enigmatic--and I LOVE my students, this has nothing to do with them--but I am finding it very difficult to write under the necessary constraints. And of course not writing makes me crabby, which makes everything seem just even more overwhelming and surreal and utterly ridiculous.
After making extensive effort, overtures, and dedication to what is best for kids and getting shot down, humiliated, or tongue lashed to the point of tears on a daily basis, I want to scream, "Why bother?"
But I don't, of course, because I know the answer. All 100 of them, in fact: kiddos that are the bright spots of every work day.
My pancreatitis is flaring up. Stress is unquestionably playing a role. Percocet, not eating solid food until Saturday, and taking tomorrow off from work will help ... but the problems aren't going anywhere, no matter how hard I try to solve them.
No matter how hard you might try, there are some stones that are just too heavy to move. I'll keep trying, though ... because the education of children is 110% worth the bother.
I'll stop rambling now ... damn Percocet ;-)
Originally, this blog was intended to be my take on life, a way to write regularly, and so forth. I'd like to move it in a different direction a bit, using my own lens to contemplate stuff going on in the world. Please comment ... I love conversations!!!!
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I hope things lighten up for you soon!
ReplyDeleteMy best bud is a middle school teacher and things don't settle down for him til Christmas.
You poor thing - pancreatitis! Ugh! As if your work and home life weren't stressful enough. You're fortunate you can take percocet. Most painkillers don't work on me, and most antibiotics don't either. So I must take care not to break anything, or get infected with anything.
ReplyDeleteIf you haven't already, perhaps you should start an anonymous blog where you can rant in privacy. Tell me where to find it. ;-)
You're not the only teacher who suffers. Bloginboots fights similar battles in Australia, where children are unmotivated and peers are hateful. Some peers, anyway - others are being nice lately, and even superiors are too!
I'm teaching this week in Battle Creek, Michigan. I have a class of five, two of whom are sick and are trying to infect me. We are struggling through the material anyway. And they feed me well, being a food company. ;-)
Yikes! I've worked in schools and can sympathise. Hope it gets better soon...hope.
ReplyDeleteAs for the stones in the way, sometimes you just have to sit on them for a rest or just step to the side and walk round them. Unless it's blocking your path completely, in which case several sticks of dynamite may prove useful.
Have a great weekend.