Friday, April 9, 2010

NBA's K-Mart Lives up to Name, Looks Corny


Denver Nuggets power forward Kenyon Martin apparently cannot take a joke, even on April Fool’s Day.

Former Nuggets ball boy Laquan Johnson took Martin’s keys from the locker room and proceeded to stuff the star’s Range Rover (which boasts a pristine formerly pristine white interior) with hot buttered popcorn.

According to ESPN Sports, what happened next went something like this:
Angered, he (Martin) went back to the locker room spewing profanities and threats at teammates and other members of the organization.


"That ain't no [expletive] joke," Martin said. "I'm going to find out who did it ... put my [expletive] hands on one of y'all. I'm going to put my hands on whoever did it. You better believe that. It's [expletive] personal. You better believe it."

Martin, who has missed 15 games with a torn patella tendon in his left knee, threatened to boycott the postseason if he did not find out who was responsible.

"How 'bout if I don't play in the playoffs until somebody tells me who did it," Martin said more than once.

The story ended with the ball boy apologizing to Martin and taking responsibility by agreeing to have the car cleaned and de-kerneled.

According to a source at the Nuggets organization, “It was just an April Fool’s joke that went horribly wrong. The kid thought it would be funny and it wasn't. Kenyon was back at practice today and everything was fine between him and his teammates."

Perhaps … until next April Fool’s Day, of course. Or until a date brings the dregs of a popcorn bag home from the movie theater. His Range Rover is tapped by a grocery cart at the market. You know, LIFE??

Oh, and did I forget to mention that there’s video footage?