Sunday Stealing: I'm in Rare Form Today ;-)

Evidently this is the second part of a 90-question meme; clearly I've been slacking on my Sunday Stealing. Enjoy!  

Do you read your horoscope?

Not usually.  I’m a Scorpio (no kidding, right ;-)?), so it’s usually pretty extreme and melodramatic.

31. Where was the last place you bought something?

McDonald’s.  Jeff and Ari are clearing the ground for the new pool (bought with many saved gift cards and Ari eschewing her allowance for several months).  The old pool was really pretty small, so we just put a tarp down under it.  This one is pretty big and quite deep (almost over Ari’s head), so they are bonding over the prepwork on Fathers Day, and they expressed an urge for McDonald’s.  I am supposed to be “resting”, but I figured hitting the McD’s drive-thru wasn’t terribly taxing, so I got Jeff a Big Mac meal and Ari and Mighty Kids Cheeseburger meal.  I didn’t get anything because, in addition to resting, I am supposed to focus on liquids. 

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?

My hair sucks.  The gray roots aren’t even roots anymore; I have a half and half thing going from the last time I had it colored.  Unfortunately, I’m on medical leave from work and won’t get paid until August, so my hair is not a financial priority when you have the mortgage to pay and children to feed and no income.

33. Do you bite your nails?

Nope.  If you think about where your nails go throughout the course of the day, even if you wash your hands a lot and/or use hand sanitizer, you’re playing with fire if you bite your nails. 

34. Do you have any expensive jewelry?

I have a few nice pieces, mostly from my grandfather and a diamond-cut gold bracelet that my stepdad gave to my mother that she gifted me with after he passed away.  My ex-husband gave me diamond earrings and a couple of other things.  Jeff got me a beautiful gold starfish necklace last Mother’s Day, but the chain was too short for me to wear it comfortably and we haven’t been able to afford a new chain, but I can’t wait until I can wear it.  My engagement ring is white gold and heart shaped … I love it!

35. Have you ever been told you speak fast?

Yup, sometimes I speak really quickly. 

36. Is your laugh usually hearty?

Haha, my laugh is memorable, but I don’t think anyone has ever referred to it as “hearty”.  Annoying, yes.  Loud, yup.  Even “nice”.  Never hearty.

37. How fast have you driven a car?

Oh goodness gracious, I don’t know.  Actually, I do … 120 on a highway at 2 or 3 in the morning.  Viva la college.

38. Have you ever smoked?

Yes, and I currently have fluid in my lungs, which isn’t the main focus of my health dramas but certainly doesn’t help.  I wish I had never smoked.  My beloved stepdad died from lung cancer caused by being a lifetime smoker.  For a long time, I would occasionally slip when I was out drinking with certain people or at certain places.   

39. What was your favorite subject in school?

English.  Duh. (Sorry, I’m an English teacher)

40. Do you have cell phone provider loyalty?

Yup, I’ve used Verizon Wireless from Day 1.  I think this is mostly because it’s what my parents used.  Also, I tend to have customer loyalty in general.

41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?

The type that will get me in trouble.  I deviated from that with my ex-husband because he’s a math nerd and he seemed safe and boring following the drama surrounding the rape debacle (ironically, of course, he ended up being the most abusive guy I've ever been with, but that’s a story for another day).  My current husband, is also sort of an exception because he is such a nice man, but I’m pretty sure he used to be an asshole.  That’s what he says, anyway.

42. Do you have any hidden talents?

I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.  It’s a great hit at parties.  And whilst flirting with cute guys at bars in my wayward youth.

43. Favorite Song?

“Wake Up” by Alanis Morissette

44. Do you like to sing at all?

I love to sing.  I used to be pretty good at it, too.  My main gig right now, though, is singing to Gabrielle when I’m rocking her to sleep at night J

45. Dream Job?

Writer.  I would love to be able to be home writing all the time, blogging regularly about compelling subjects and getting paid for it, working on novels, even doing research and writing about mysteries or conspiracy theories from my own perspective.  I WILL write a book about Charles Manson someday, by the way, for all of you aware with my bizarre fascination in terms of psychological control.

46. Where does most of your family live?

Actually, virtually all of them live within an hour.  It’s a wonderful treat!

47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?

I have a sister, a brother, two half-sisters, a half-brother, a step-sister, and a step-brother.  I know a lot of interesting people just in my own family ;-)

48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?

In some ways I’m very spoiled.  My husband and kids try very hard to “keep Mama happy”, but that’s in terms of behavior and activities.  I virtually never spend money on myself; seeing my kids able to participate in activities and have nice clothes and such makes me much happier than buying myself stuff.  I do have an iPhone 5, but it’s my one extravagance.

49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?

“Oh, Gabby’s here … Jeff must have gotten her.  That was nice of him J. Wait ... is she passed out??”

50. Do you drink?

Well, I’m breastfeeding, so not much right now (although I do have a beer or two once in awhile).  I also have a messed up liver, so I shouldn’t drink at all period, but I do sometimes.  I almost never drink at home, though; it’s only when I go out, and since that almost never happens these days, I almost never drink.

51. Know any other languages?

ig-Pay atin-Lay.  But seriously, I studied Latin in both high school and college.  It’s the base for the Romance Languages (Italian, French, Spanish), so I guess theoretically I could pick up one of those pretty easily.  Latin itself is a dead language, but I learned more about grammar in Latin than I ever did in English class.

52. Ever write a coded message?

I’m sure. 

53. Have you ever been in someone else's wedding?

Yup, my sister’s.  Had to give a speech, too ;-)

54. Do you have any children?

I have three daughters.

Emily is 19, and a brilliant student, a gifted musician, a bit OCD about time, and in general the kind of kid ever parent dreams of having.

Ariel is 10, and a gymnast, a cheerleader (it kills me to write that, but she’s actually very talented), a free spirit, blonde in both the literal and idiomatic sense, and probably the funniest kid I’ve ever met.

Gabrielle is 6 months old.  The sky’s the limit with her, but I think we are in for it based on the sparkle in her eye …

Oh, and Howard, my boxador puppy, is almost a year old.  He is a fantastic dog, if a little crazy (less so since being neutered).  He drives us all a bit bananas at times, but he’s a very good boy and I love him very much.

55. Did you take a nap today?

Nope.  I am supposed to be “resting” (two ER visits in a row before we made any sort of progress), but I’m not good at resting, so I’m sitting up (because the idea of fluid in my lungs terrifies me in terms of lying down) and typing.  I couldn’t get Gabby to take a nap for the longest time, but she is finally asleep in her swing.  Maybe I’ll try to take a quick one when I’m done with this.

56. Who has the same birthday as you?

Hillary Clinton, Pat Sajak, and Keith Urban. 

57. Ever met anyone famous before?

Not anyone I’d brag about meeting ;-)

58. Do you want to be famous one day?

I would LOVE to be a bestselling novelist.  Or a famous blogger where people talk about what I write around the water cooler. 

59. Any Pet Peeves?

Too many to list.  Most are related to grammar (using apostrophes with an s to make a word plural is a big one) or sloppy spelling/are you really THAT… unaware? (“I love you so much I can’t breath when you’re near me” or “She lead the way into the restaurant”) or things like the word “supposedly” being said as “supposably”.  It makes my toes curl … Maybe I’ll have to do a blog post on this topic …

60. Are you multitasking right now?

No, I’m resting.  And writing.  So I guess that means yes.  J

Unspeakable Trauma I'm Trying to Work Through: To Post or Not to Post

I was raped in the winter of 1998.

I hadn't thought of the rape in a long time, since getting a fragile peace in April of 2009 from my good friend that was mixed up in the whole mess. Making sure he knew the whole story was important to me in 2009 (click here to see why).

In 2014, I have been talking more about the fact that I was raped.  I do not want to talk about the rape.  I do not want to talk about it with my therapist. I do not want to talk about it with my husband.  I do not want to talk about it with anybody.

But since I mentioned it, I have had three separate people contact me and tell me that they also had been raped, sexually abused, or otherwise tortured. I had no idea how prevalent it was, how many unspoken stories there are.

And I wonder if it is time for me to talk about it.

I have no idea how many people read this blog, and I'm under no illusion that it's a staggering number.  I don't want to write a piece about rape that nobody will read, but by the same token I don't want to write about this traumatic event and have people read it just because it's got a buzzword.

I will tell you one thing about my rape.  I had to have part of my body surgically repaired.  Remember that hemorrhoid surgery?  Yeah, not a bad cover story...my mother didn't even know. So it's a bit gory.

In therapy, they are trying to make me do a play-by-play.  I don't want to talk about it.  I want to forget about it.

But that's not possible.

Writing has always been a better medium for me.

My story is a lesson in stupidity (don't ever put your drink down, even for a second), but it's also a lesson in pain and the long lasting effects of such a trauma.

One thing I've learned in the past few months is that I am still impacted by that event.  It has, in many ways, shaped my adult life.

But is it worth sharing?

I'm not sure ...

A New Direction: The Philosophy of All of Us

When I first started this blog, I was in a very different place emotionally, physically, and about any other -ly you can think of.

Me in 2014

 Me in 2010

I'm going through some pretty hard-core health drama at the moment, and I have found myself unable to write.  My plan is to move this blog in a new direction, to either write about topics you (my readers) recommend or what I see on the news.  Or maybe the naked guy in a Santa jacket my husband and daughter saw at the ice cream shop yesterday.

If there are topics you'd like me to tackle, please either comment below or read through some of the posts I'm linking and ask for clarification or to look at something from a different angle.  You can contact me at kloud1026 at yahoo(dot)com.  I have got to get rid of this stupid writer's block (I intend to leave a mark on the world in some way), so please, I encourage suggestions for writing topics.

Going back to the beginning of this blog (gulp), here are some things I think might be interesting reads for newcomers ...

*  My sister and I had the most epic Facebook conversation ever.  It gets into horse urine and lettuce and really odd places. I just peed a little when I reread it ;-p

* In 1998, I was raped at a small party at a friend's house.  I can say those words aloud now, but back when I wrote this, I could only write them.

*  Stephen King on writing before he wrote On Writing; in fact, he compares it to masturbation.  Okay, he's a little weird, but best author ever, really!

*  I'm quite amused by my random ramblings about pink tissues.  Who knew?

*  This is where I honor the man my ex-husband used to be.  I forgot some of the finer things about him, and I'm sorry to report that they haven't returned.

* I got caught up on why children's television is so milquetoast these days.  It's a bit soap-boxy, but I enjoyed rereading it.

*  If you know me well at all, you know I am fascinated by Charles Manson.  That is explained a bit here.

* If you are from New Hampshire, you are probably familiar with the name Michael Addison.  I am still bothered by the potential racism in a criminal case here in the Granite State.

*  Way back in 2009, I got rather indignant at the whole "Lipstick on a Pig" debacle during the Obama vs. McCain election.

*  I used Socrates to talk about the Easter Bunny in this post.  That sort of makes it a must-read.

I guess that's a pretty wide variety of posts for you to read, if you're interested. Again, starting tomorrow, I am blogging daily.  I am hoping desperately to find something to write about since I've been blocked for so long.  Please share your ideas in comments or via e-mail and let me know if you read any of those Golden Oldies listed above.

I'm sort of laughing and crying both right now ... and wishing I had a pink tissue.

Be well,
<3 katie="" p="">

What You Leave Out is as Important as What You Put In

A number of people have asked me why I almost never blog about Henry.  People I know in real life, the blogosphere, and through Facebook and Twitter will say, "You never write about him."

So I guess I should ...

Or, at least, I should write about why I don't write about him.

Henry is my fiance.  He has fantastic taste in rings, right? (The question was asked and accepted back in September ... I'm pretty sure I didn't mention it on here and, if I did, it was peripheral)

And we've set a wedding date, have a location, are working on a guest list, arranged the JP, chosen the bridal party, and so on.  Really exciting stuff, but not anything I feel like I need to blog about.

Why?  Because ... well, it's just part of the happy, calm, non-drama that my life consists of now.

The most important thing, of course, is this ...

Okay, here's the thing ... I have absolutely no respect for people who change who they are based on the person they happen to be in a relationship with.  None.  I think it's sick and twisted and warped.

That being said, I have changed a lot outwardly since I started dating Henry ... but it's more that I have found the strength to believe in who I've always been, to face my fears, to stop taking myself too seriously.  The hidden pieces inside myself, the shards of my soul that had heard, "You're not worth anything, you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, I'll take care of it because you'd just screw it up if you tried" for so very long, have joined together and allowed me to become who I always was.

If that makes any sense at all ...

The most obvious example I can think of is that I've learned how to tackle fears I've faced for most of my life.  I got on an airplane in August (with a lot of Valium, yes, but I got on an airplane) and flew to Baltimore to visit my sister when she needed me.  As recently as a year before, I would have taken a train or driven.  If someone I love needs me, I have always been willing to be there, but it wouldn't have been on an airplane, a fear I've had forever.

And it's not like Henry went with me on the plane, which I mention because some people seem to be equate spending 24/7 with your partner as a positive and healthy thing, and the only way to give and receive "love" and "support"--a concept I disagree with as Henry's love and support is present even when he's not physically with me, which I suppose emphasizes its enormity and strength.  He did drop me off and pick me up at the airport (in fact, we had a fight when he picked me up because the flight was really turbulent and he was late and I just wanted to be home, so I was snappy with him), but that's it.

And I should mention that the very fact that we "fight" is kind of refreshing.

I can remember how proud I was, how sure that it was a sign of perfection, that my ex-husband and I never fought.  I didn't realize back then that two people will never agree on everything 100% of the time, that I was either being indulged like a child or pretty much brainwashed into having my mind changed so my opinions were no longer my own, that I trusted him to do everything because the impression was given over and over again that I was incompetent and incapable of doing anything on my own.  The irony, of course, is that the exact opposite was the real truth, that he was the one unable to stand up and get his hands dirty and do what needed to be done, instead choosing to crawl into a wine bottle.

I was the one with the strength.

It's funny, my ex continues to find women that pretty much want someone to "take care of them", to tell them what to do and how to live.  Stephen King wrote a short story called "I Know What You Need" available in the anthology Night Shift, and it gives me the shivers when I read it now.  I married a mask; that he seemed so interested in what I was, that he "took care of" things when I was afraid to, that he seemed to know exactly what my needs were ... my God, it's so pathological looking back now.

I mention that because what Henry and I have is pretty much the polar opposite.

Because we are both high school English teachers, many of our interests and experiences are a natural match.  We both love books, although our tastes dovetail at times; we have a longstanding debate, in fact, over Tolkien (I think Tolkien is completely overrated, while Henry thinks he set the stage for pretty much every fantasy writer ever ... I'm pretty sure that came long before J.R.R.).  Henry loves comic books and graphic novels, while I think they're pretty dumb; sometimes he'll reference an epic like Neil Gaiman's Sandman in terms of what I consider "real" literature, and I'll roll my eyes.  He does the same when I elevate Stephen King to golden statue status (although he enjoys King, too).  We disagree.  We talk.  We think.  We learn.  We grow.  It's freaking amazing.   

Henry knows pretty much everything in the world about the history of rock music.  His knowledge is fierce, and his collection of various shows, purchased music, and memorabilia is ridiculously extensive.  My eyes glaze over sometimes when he starts talking about this or that bootleg and how "Hallelujah" has been covered 239 times and how such-and-such a guitarist is so coked up in a YouTube video that his nose is bleeding, and so on, but that's okay.  I enjoy Henry's passion and little-boy excitement ("REM is releasing 25th anniversary CDs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"), and I love how it's okay that I don't know what he's talking about half the time.  That he is so willing to share of himself with absolutely no reservation is just ... well, refreshing.  And extremely endearing.

And there is no perfection ... which is, of course, perfect.  I can be a moody and difficult person.  Henry gets that ... he laughs at me and makes me laugh at myself.  Or he knows to give me ten minutes to get over myself.  Or he'll call me on it, which I need sometimes.  Or he'll give me a reason (not an excuse or a lie, but a reason).  We are doing Weight Watchers, and today is our weigh-in day.  He lost 4 pounds, I gained 2 ... as I was about to completely melt down, he pointed out that I'm taking prednisone and an antibiotic so am retaining water (which reminded me that it's that time of the month where fluid retention is at its peak as well), so instead of getting depressed and eating a couple of doughnuts and a bag of Cheetos since "it doesn't matter anyway", I'm good.

Probably my biggest pet peeve is when people say things wrong.  For example, I want to scream when someone says "supposably" instead of "supposedly" ... and I hear it all the time.  Not from Henry--that would probably have been a deal-breaker--but he does say "all of THE sudden" instead of "all of a sudden", which is also fairly high up on my irritation list.  He argues that either one is correct, but he's totally wrong on that even if he doesn't want to admit it (based on my research, "all of THE sudden" became acceptable because so many people said "all of A sudden" wrong ... so using that logic, maybe everyone should start saying "supposably" and it'll become acceptable under the either/or-due-to-ignorance clause).  So even though it drives me crazy that he says it wrong, I kind of like it at the same time because he has the balls to stand up for himself; he is not going to change who he is just because the way he says something irritates the hell out of me.

Perhaps the coolest thing about Henry, though, is his modesty.  He is freaking brilliant, but there is no in-your-face about it (he was a National Merit Scholar, an impressive achievement that he forgot all about until finding the 20+ year old newspaper clipping while cleaning his basement).  He does not pretend (nor feel the need) to be the best at anything, instead enjoying life as it comes.  You find out about his many and varied life accomplishments piecemeal, usually with a self-deprecating story (Henry did not pass the English Language Arts Praxis II the first time he took it because he had no idea what the source material for the essay was ... the second time he took it, the question was one of his areas of expertise, so he totally nailed it and got an award for achieving one of the top scores in the nation, which I just found out about a couple of weeks ago--and I should mention that my ex got the same award for the mathematics Praxis II, but he made sure it went on his resume and that everyone knew about it).

Anyway, the bottom line is that I don't write about Henry and our relationship very often is because I don't have to.  It just is.  The highs and lows (and there have been some pretty intense lows because sometimes life happens) just sort of fit into who I am and what I think ... I am exponentially enriched by having Henry in my life, but I am not fundamentally different.

Well, except for one thing ...

Public speaking is my greatest fear.  Presenting to parents at Open House nights used to be prefaced by copious vomiting because I was so nervous.  I almost chose not to get my Master's Degree after completing the coursework because of the presentation requirement (and I think I only received credit for that out of pity ... it was pretty bad).

The first day back to school after the holiday break, I gave a professional development presentation to the full faculty at my school on "Text-Based Discussions" in a student-centered classroom.  Even though it's an area of expertise for me, I was petrified ... didn't sleep the night before, spent some time with my head in a toilet shortly beforehand, the whole nine yards.  That being said, I did it.

And Henry?  He helped me organize my ideas, articulate my objectives in writing (written objectives are hard for me), and listened to me bitch and cry and totally freak out.

And then he helped me practice. 

Blogging About Life: Hard or Necessary?

One of my students, a gifted young lady with great writing talent and a true passion for picking up on the philosophy in the everyday mundaneness of life, wants to start a blog about the minutiae of what she sees around her every day.

Does anybody have any suggestions for her?  I'm sending her the link to this post, so she will definitely be reading your comments.

Thank you in advance <3 nbsp="nbsp">

The New Book Seems to be Taking Off

It took me over fifteen years to write my first book ... and it really wasn't very good.  I wrote it in my typical slapdash fashion, pulling writing all-nighters for days, even weeks, at a time and then ignoring it for weeks, even months.  I finally ended it just so I could say it was done, so I could put both of us out of our misery, so to speak.

I want to do it right this time around.

And so I pondered over what it was that I wanted to write, getting it down to two options.  I then wisely asked for input on Facebook and from my blog readers, and the historical mystery won out by a large margin.

I have been doing a lot of writing (just blogging, yes, but getting myself re-acclimated to the physical act of writing as it had been a distressingly long time), and I've also been thinking a lot about the story I want to write.  I've been (wait for it, friends and neighbors, and if you know me at all, prepare yourselves for a laugh ... I mean it, now is not the time to take a sip of your drink) researching.

And this morning, I woke up ready to write, so I did.

I wrote for an hour (674 words), then I made myself stop.

You might be wondering why I forced myself to stop when I was on a writing roll, in a writing place, feeling the writing groove.

It's pretty simple, really ... writing is like crack to me.  The way I feel when I'm really rocking my own stuff is, other than my family, the best feeling ever.  I do not want to stop, but it's like I burn myself out and have to recharge, and as a result, the story is choppy and lacks flow and cohesion and such because I am usually at such a different place when I go back to it after weeks or often months.

I have no idea of what the appropriate process is, what a typical word count is, how often is typical to spend writing over the course of a day.  I would really like to try to be more traditional about it, though, because my goal is to have this story (which is already written in my head, something that I've never had before, either ... I am usually as surprised by how my writing ends up as anyone else because I just sort of write and let it go where it will) finished before school starts back up.

When I stopped myself from writing my WIP, I needed a "cool down", which is what this post is, I suppose.

Anyway, I have to take Belle to the dentist in a bit, so I'll probably hold off on writing anymore (oh, but I want to so badly ...) until we get back.

Hopefully I'm approaching writing the right way this time around :-)

Commentary Conversations

Let's face it, the sad truth is that I blog because ... well, because I like hearing what people have to say in response to what I write.  It's fascinating, it helps me learn and grow as a writer, plus I've developed some good friendships with people via the blogosphere.

In addition to this, my personal blog, I also write for a site called Zelda Lily.  Blog readership in general waxes and wanes like the moon, and ZL is in kind of a comment slump at the moment (the conversations over there used to be utterly remarkable and really guided the directions that we writers chose to go in).

Instead of writing a post here today, I am going to give short descriptors of some pieces with links over to stuff I've written at ZL.  It is all work that I am very proud of, writing that I believe is capable of generating some amazing conversations.  It is my hope that you'll feel compelled to comment over at ZL, because it's only with a lot of comments that those amazing conversations can happen (and I don't get paid for this ... I write because I enjoy it).

*  This past spring, a drug task force went to a home in New Hampshire to serve papers.  The homeowner killed a police chief and injured several other officers.  He also killed a young woman in the house with him, a young woman whose mother spoke out in defense of her daughter's character ... until her daughter's own involvement in a life of crime came out.

*  A mother forced her 7-year-old daughter to lose weight for a Vogue photo shoot.  If the poor kid makes it to adulthood without an eating disorder, no one will be more shocked than me :-(

*  Henry and I watched the Super Bowl at a cigar bar.  It was, obviously, quite an adventure ... and I felt shockingly out of place.  Quite an experience!

*  Winterguard is a sport (well, I think it's a sport) that incorporates dancing with flag and sabre tosses.  Addie started doing winterguard when she was a junior, and it got me thinking about what defines the word "sport" ... and if winterguard does, in fact, qualify.

*  A high school cheerleader was sexually assaulted by several classmates ... yet SHE was punished for refusing to cheer for them at a sporting event.  As you may know, rape is a very serious and personal issue to me, and I couldn't get over how disgusting it was that a victim of rape had the guts to come forward and was summarily dismissed.  Horrible!    

*  A middle school girl was suspended from school for five days for posting on Facebook that she wished Osama bin Laden had killed her math teacher.  This opens up a really interesting discussion, actually, because it gets into some very dicey territory--it wasn't done at school during school hours, so SHOULD she have been consequenced at school?

Anyway, my internet is being incredibly slow, so I guess that's all I'm going to put.  I do hope you read and enjoy these pieces and, if you're so compelled, get some discussion going.

I will be joining in :-)

Summer Writing Project--Please Weigh In

Along with my writing mojo returning came two great writing ideas about which I am very excited.  That being said, I know that I can only focus on one at a time and a decision has to be made.

I've written one novel and several short stories (here, here,  here, and here, if you're interested).  I thought they were pretty good at the time (they clearly weren't ;-)), but I've learned a lot about writing and about life since then, and I am unquestionably at a better place as a writer now.

If you know me at all in real life (or it's entirely possible you've picked this up from my blogging topics and patterns), you're well aware that I'm pretty much the textbook version of an adult with ADHD.  I struggle with getting started, finishing what I start unless there are firm deadlines, and many of what we call in the education world "executive functioning skills".  I am impulsive, disorganized, and I hate authority.  And so on and so forth.

Oh, I also have that "hyper-focus" on one area, kind of like self-hypnosis (if you have or know anyone with ADHD, you know what I mean).  For me, it's reading.  Or writing.  For a lot of hyperactive kids nowadays, it's video games.  But that's a different rant ...

Anyway, I've made a lot of progress with functioning in life, more than just bouncing around driving people nuts or using books and caffeine to keep myself under control (I'm really not as bad as I'm making myself out to be ... I am a successful mother, teacher, girlfriend, dog owner, friend, daughter, sister, and blah blah blah).

And I've decided that this is the summer of writing.

So I've got it down to two topics.  I'd really rather not flip a coin, so I am going to let you, oh person reading these words right now, decide.  Seriously.

Oh, and before you say, "Why don't you try doing both?", see the above explanatory ADHD rant.  I cannot focus on writing on two things at once.  It's as simple as that.

So ...

1.  A historical mystery. (vague, I know ... I don't want to tip my hand ;-))
*  I know the whole story in my head (this sort of planning ahead is symbolic of the new and slightly improved me)
*  It's an extensive lesson in history, and I've already started researching extensively.
*  I have always wanted to write a mystery

OR

2.  A memoir of my life.
*  It's an interesting story ... I have had the great fortune of having incredible things happen to me ... and the horrible misfortune of having unspeakably horrible things happen to me.
*  Coming to terms with a couple of my traumatic life events has given me closure ... part of me thinks that getting it all out there might do so on a larger scale.
*  It is very important to me as a mother and a teacher that the children I raise and/or educate get the lesson that, when life knocks you down, you get right back up.  I think this is a message that needs to get out more, and I think putting it in writing (more than the occasional blog post) could help people.

So, please give your recommendation (your vote, to use that word) in the comments.  Should I focus my summer writing time, other than blogging and other responsibilities, working on the historical mystery or the memoir?

And should you want to explain why, that would be great, too :-)  

Either way, I'm going with the majority.

Thanks in advance <<3
   

Back Again :-)

Well, hello :-)

I've come to terms with the fact that I need to have extended writing breaks sometimes.  Unfortunately, this involves blogging.

Honestly, I've been horribly sick.  Getting better by the day, but it's been a long haul.  No excuse for being a blog slacker, but I've been getting my stuff together in all aspects of my life.

Things are good ... how could they not be when you have blessings like these?

Anyone Want to Be a Guest Blogger? Read for Details ...

I've noticed a lot of "guest blogging" going on lately, and I figured I'd try out the idea.

Somehow, my blog has accumulated over 200 followers (thank you all so much <3), which is pretty exciting.  What I was thinking would be even more exciting is for an occasional guest post, which will allow me to participate in discussions that don't originate with me.

I started this blog to share my thoughts on the world and on the philosophy that exists in everyday life.  It's become more (my aspiring writing career, motherhood and other details of my personal life, and the field of education are all directions I hadn't planned on going in but somehow have), but that's still my underlying goal.

If you'd like to write a guest post on a topic that generates thought and discussion, please let me know.  I'm not picky about specifics beyond getting people to think and talk about the different directions capable of moving by the human brain.

Send me an e-mail with "Guest Blogger" in the subject line or leave a comment here with questions or queries (heh heh ;-)), and let's get this thing cracking.

I look forward to hearing from you ... and to moving this blog forward in new and interesting directions.

<3 KL

Books That Changed Your Life

It's funny how sometimes different parts of your life come together to create perfect moments, especially valuable when you're trying to avoid writer's block (both on your blog and with your own writing).  

I'm a slapdash writer--a talented writer (as Stephen King once noted, "Talent is cheaper than table salt.  What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work")--but a lazy, disorganized, fits-and-spurts kind of writer, the kind of writer that will go weeks without writing a thing and then crank out thirty or forty amazing pages in twenty-four hours.

I'm working hard to develop better writing habits.  Really hard.   

And sometimes that leads to a perfect storm of keeping you from being at a complete loss for what to write about.

Writing for Zelda Lily has led to me staying on top of current events --> I created a Twitter account to follow news outlets (and interesting people with odd political ideas) --> I realized that one of my biggest problems as a writer is that I'm ... overly verbose --> I've added Tweeting every day to one of my writing goals since it forces me to be concise --> I found a cool piece on The Huffington Post via Twitter that gave me the idea for a blog post.

I've read a lot of books over the years, but the books that actually changed my life are in a category of their own.  I've put my top five down here, and I would encourage you to consider doing a post on this (it's actually a very telling and philosophical journey).

I've left a linky thing at the bottom of this post, so please link up if you go for this so I can check out the books that shaped and molded each of you.  Oh, and please feel free to leave comments ... I sort of thrive on comments (another motivation to keep on blogging, right ;-)?).

So, five books that have changed my life ...

1.  The Dark Tower (series of seven books) by Stephen King

Honestly, this series changed my outlook on the entire world.  It's what started my fascination with philosophy, with thinking about things on a higher level, of exploring the possibilities of parallel universes, of seeing how Shakespeare does not hold the patent on the concept of universal themes, of ....

Well, I'll stop rambling now.  

These books are not easy reads (they're very well-written and interesting and such, but you have to be willing to twist your brain in unusual and sometimes difficult ways to wrap your head around them); even Stephen King fans have struggled with these books.

All I have to say is, they blew my mind.  Totally blew my mind.

2.  The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough

I first read this book when I was at my family's beach house one summer.  I'd read all the books I'd brought with me, and this was before we had cable television at the beach house, which contains an interesting collection of literature (basically, stuff that my mother and uncles read in high school, my grandfather's golf books, my grandmother's needlepoint books, and so on).  For some reason, The Thorn Birds had made it into this mishmash of books, and I figured one rainy summer day that I'd give it a shot.

It was the first time a book made me cry adult tears.  

As a fifth grader, I obviously had no concept of romantic love, but the story of a man and woman unable to be together, yet clearly destined for each other ... well, it planted a seed.

I think the book also made me appreciate my siblings more, to be completely honest.  There is a lot of death and loss related to the love between a girl and her brothers, and that pain was torturous to experience vicariously.  

For me to have taken on The Thorn Birds under the circumstances I did, it's evident that I wasn't getting along with Adam and Mary one rainy summer day when the beach was off limits and the card games had gotten boring (or I'd lost a lot and pouted away with my book).  Ironic that said book reminded me of how important they are to me ...  

3.  How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss

This book taught me how to read.  Well, this book and my father.  Before he went to law school, my father was a teacher, and he got really into reading with me.  This book was one of my absolute favorites, and I can still remember as my father's fingers moved over each word until I understood them.

I can still recite this entire book, by the way, and the words contained therein probably played some sort of role in developing my hard-core visual memory.  The brain is an amazing thing ...

4.  Centennial by James Michener

When I was in Honors English 11, my teacher had us choose an author to do a yearlong study on.  We had to read one of the author's books each quarter, write analysis papers, and the final paper required us to identify a common theme that ran through each book.

I was kind of a laissez-faire student (I did well enough, at least in English class, but I neither tried very hard nor cared very much), so I gave the list to my mother and asked her to pick an author for me.  She recommended Michener, and I figured I'd go with it.  I should have known better when my teacher asked if I was absolutely sure about committing to Michener ...

Yeah, many of Michener's books, Centennial included, weigh almost as much as my seven-year-old does ...

I pulled my usual procrastination act and left both reading the book and writing the paper until the night before, but ... wow.  I got it done, did well on it, and then proceeded to eat up Michener's entire canon.

The idea of a certain geographical location serving as almost a character, the cultures that mix together as years go by, and the connections that exist between geography, characters, history, and pretty much everything ... 

James Michener taught me that vitally important lesson. 

5.  My completed novel (currently titled Unbreakable, but that's of course subject to change) by Katie Loud

I've written a lot about the history of this novel (which you can read about here ... it's actually kind of an interesting story as I went from a middle schooler to an adult with the same work in progress), and I think it's a pretty good read (you can read excerpts here and here, and check out a list of 25 unusual and/or interesting things about it here (this was actually a really cool exercise, by the way, and I'd recommend any writer to do this).

Bottom line, this book taught me two extremely valuable lessons that no other book could.

1.  All fiction is, to one degree or another, a form of author autobiography.  It's all in the details.

and 

2.  I can actually finish something that I've started ... even if it takes me over fifteen years ;-)

So, what five books changed your life?  Link up here :-)

Odd Request--Help a Friend Out :-)

As you may have noticed if you've been a longtime follower, I've been posting a lot regularly.  This is part of my new list of writing goals (also on the list is using Twitter frequently to practice short, quick writing--I have a tendency toward wordiness ;-) ... and if you don't follow me on Twitter, you can right here).

Anyway, I have a tendency to blog in much the way I work on my writing--in fits and spurts.  I am making a concerted effort to post a thought-provoking, interesting, discussion-worthy piece every day.

But sometimes I run out of ideas for awhile.

So my request (or we can call it begging, I suppose) is to make suggestions for posts.  If you go back and read through my blog, you'll get an idea of what I'm about.  Basically, nothing is off limits, as long as it induces thought.

You can (PLEASE :-)) leave suggestions in the comments or e-mail them to kloud1026(at)yahoo(dot)com.

I'm in a Meme Mood, so Here's Saturday 9

I've been slacking at blogging of late in large part because of the end-of-the-school-year crunch. Although I've already posted today (a compelling piece on the prevalence of tears at graduations), I'm in the mood to do a meme.

Fortunately, my good bud, Bud, has satiated my need (and kept me from having to wait until tomorrow's Sunday Stealing) by offering his Saturday 9.

Also, it's quite possible that I'm procrastinating writing exams ;-)

1. What is the craziest thing you've done in the last year?
One of the drawbacks to being a teacher is that you can't really get into the crazy stuff you might hypothetically have done in a quasi-public forum. I'll leave out any sort of calisthenics in a two seater sports car out of it and instead go with doing karaoke to Natalie Imbruglia ;-) Of course, the fact that I teach middle school means that my entire life is crazy ...

2. What is something that you've lost recently?
A rough draft analysis essay written by one of my students. Despite my disorganization and the fact that my desk is pretty much a landmark because it's piled high with random papers and such, I take great pride in not losing student work. This is a first, and I'm sick over it (and of course it's a wonderful kid who worked incredibly hard on the essay ... I officially suck).

3. Where does your patience suffer the most?
I hate hypocrites. And liars. And unprofessional jerks. Put the three together into one person, and you'll understand why my hair is going gray this year.

4. Have you ever reread a book?
All the time. Books are magical in that, although the words on the pages don't change a bit, the experience is completely different based on where you are at in your life, the mood you're in when you read it, new background knowledge you've obtained since the last reading, and so on.

5. What is a TV show that you absolutely HATE to miss?
I don't love TV. I can't think of a show I'd hate to miss, but if I had to choose one it'd be NCIS.

6. How old do you wish you were?
I'm actually pretty good with being 34, much as I complain about it at times. I'm old enough to have gained quite a bit of wisdom about how the world works and young enough to enjoy pretty much everything.

7. Do you know your neighbors?
Actually, I don't. I know their cat, though. Grrrrrrr. Seriously, though, the combination of a fair amount of acreage and being located on a busy road isn't conducive to the neighbory kind of thing.

8. Do you believe that opposites attract?
Have I dated people a lot like myself (well, as much as that's possible ;-))? Yes. Have I dated people that could be considered my opposite? Yes. Am I currently single? Yes.

9. Who was the last person that made you laugh?
A very cool person ... and the context is something that is not typically laugh-worthy, so I guess he found out something very odd about me ;-)

Why is There an Inherent Disbelief of Rape Victims?

I have a piece up on Zelda Lily today that focuses on an accused rapist being brought to justice after 14 years.  This is rare, since rape is a crime that exists under a veil of silence and shame.

The audience at Zelda Lily is far different from the readers of this blog, but I would really like to get a discussion going here as well about a subject that is, unfortunately, very near to my heart.

Why do you think there is an inherent disbelief of rape victims?  Do cases such as the one referenced in my Zelda Lily piece change that?  Is there anything that we as a society can do to change the horrors (and prevalence) of this evil crime?

Interesting Reading from the First Week in June

Since my "Interesting Reading" post from last week seemed fairly well-received, I figured I'd repeat it.  Hope you enjoy the few mentions here of the many (MANY MANY MANY) posts I read and loved this week :-)

One of the most powerful pieces I've read this week was posted fairly recently.  Basically, it's a connection between musical performers and the girls who fall into their categories.  Also, it uses the word "fellatio", which I once incorporated into my regular vocabulary ("You want me to dance?  Haha, I totally fellate at dancing") and also because ... well, never mind.  It's a brilliant post, though :-)

I love music, pretty much all music except for really twangy country and rap songs that exist just to throw in as many dirty words as possible (Tupac Shakur is one of the prolific musical artists on my iPod, for example, because his songs are poetry, really).  Much as I love music, though, I really love lyrics.  I have the dubious distinction of being the loser that can win pretty much any "fill in the rest of the song lyrics" contests (I won a t-shirt at a bar once for doing just that).  Anyway, this post got me thinking a lot about lyrics, the ones I carry around in my head from the past thirty-four years' worth of songs I've heard and the ones I'm looking forward to in the future.

Blogging is kind of an interesting part of the lives of many of us.  I know that there are a lot of times when I contemplate what exactly my blog is for, whether it even matters to anyone, what its purpose is, and so on.  I read this post at Melanie's Randomness recently that made me feel far less alone in that regard.  I also had a long conversation with my friend Bud last night about what exactly my blog is and why I should keep certain things (such as what happened after prom night this year, for example) off of it.

Remember back when the mailbox was an exciting opportunity, when running outside to see what magical correspondence the postman delivered was a long-awaited opportunity?  It seems that the only "snail mail" I get these days are bills ... the real stuff comes to me via Droid, which means I get e-mail pretty much instantly.  While I love getting e-mail (and Facebook updates and such), the magic of anticipation is pretty much gone. For more on this, check out Bliss Habits ... you'll be glad you did :-)

For the past few years, I've had my students write letters to actual companies to either make complaints or offer suggestions.  It's resulted in quite a few gift cards coming their way along with a great response in terms of letters from companies.  It's a good lesson in authentic, real-world writing, anyway.  And evidently, it happens sometimes when you don't even contact the company yourself, as Evil Pixie found out ...

And Brittany, who I've been following for years, it seems, took a stand for pregnant women everywhere this week.  She manages to turn every little thing into an impossible-to-stop-reading blog post, and I think she's just amazing.  You enjoy that tank top, girlie ;-)  She is due to have a baby any day, and I can remember how crazy I was when I was pregnant with both my girls ... I certainly wouldn't be writing blog posts :-)

Hope you enjoy these posts as much as I did :-)

Interesting Reading ...

I love to read blogs. Love, love, love it! I don't always have the time to leave comments and such (although I'm making more of an effort, because I know that I LOVE to read comments...not a hint or anything ;-)), but I do a lot of blog-reading.

Which is why I think Natalie from Mommy of a Monster and Twins is a genius for posting not just a list and descriptions of good blogs, but for specific noteworthy posts she's come across in the past week. Therefore, I'm stealing her idea (hopefully she doesn't mind).

The first one is kind of a cheat, since I wrote it. Still, I'd like to share with as many people as possible the story about the middle school girl who posted on Facebook that she wished Osama bin Laden had killed her math teacher. There's conversation going on over at Zelda Lily where it's posted, so feel free to discuss it there or here.

Do you find the word "moist" to be offensive to women? Evidently, some women do, and an exploration of why this is equated with ... womanly parts instead of, say, brownies, is extensively explored here. Very interesting read!

I suppose on some level I knew that dandelion wine actually existed. However, I never dreamed that I'd get to see what it looked like (in different stages of creation, even), and especially getting a recipe that I'm *gulp* contemplating giving a try.

For those of us that are writers, description is an area of concern. Do you want to be bare bones like Hemingway? Effusive? How much is too much? Now, thanks to this post, I'm thinking a lot about description in my own writing (and, by the way, my own approach is that I try to use dialogue to convey description).

The magic of childhood is explored extensively in this post. Taking the time to remember the good times and the bad (and the worst) is always a good thing to do, and the pictures here are priceless. I left a comment there that was pretty much a blog post in itself, just because I was so excited by the memories evoked.

I love to hear the parenting woes of others. Goodness knows my own children drive me to distraction at times (currently, Addie is still dragging her feet about getting her first job and Belle is being Belle--which, if you're a Boston Red Sox fan, is akin to "Manny Being Manny), so it's always nice to hear about the tribulations of others, particularly when they're presented in such an interesting and humorous way.

Even though I'm known for being a reader, I also love movies. I don't like TV, but I'm a huge fan of movies. Like, all movies (except ones adapted from books, which is a different conversation). This is a great reminder of some of the great RomComs out there :-) Netflix is going to love me this weekend!

There are, of course, a multitude of other great posts, but my mother is freaking out because the printer isn't working, so I have to go do my tech support thang.

What do y'all think of this idea? If you like it, I'll do it more often :-)

Bits of Flotsam ;-)

I realized today how much I'm going to miss absolutely, 100% being able to post every day. I'll still post frequently, but it's not quite as simple when I go back to school on Monday (I always say that, "Back to school" instead of, "Back to work" ... I wonder if it's a teacher thing?).

Anyway, reentering the blogging world on a full-time basis for this past week has been a real treat, so maybe I'll find the time.

For today, here's an overview ...

1. Belle and I went to Target to get nail polish remover and some other stuff, then we went out to lunch at Friendly's. It's funny, we need to do Mommy/daughter dates more often ... I can't think of the last time she and I had a day together.

2. Addie has her second weekend of winter guard competitions. My mother drove down to watch it today, but Belle and I stayed home because Belle had to sell Girl Scout cookies at the grocery store. I'm really proud of Addie for stepping out of her comfort zone and giving winter guard a try ... the guard at her school is extremely good and very competitive, so she's really had to push herself.

3. I have plans tonight! Obviously not going to get my hopes up too much, but the possibility is always a nice feeling.

4. Belle and I have spent today (when we weren't shopping and eating) cleaning out (and throwing out, in some cases) her toys. She's moving into a bedroom in the main part of the house and out of the little barn attic room we have been sharing since we moved in with my mother. She's been sleeping in her new room for a week, and the time had come to move the toys over. I miss my little roommate :-(

5. There will be an upcoming post on this (I'm not quite ready to write it yet ...), but Belle is getting her pictures done tomorrow for her modeling/acting career. Long story short, Addie entered her in a contest, she made the first cut, she was one of 2,000 kids invited to Boston to meet with talent scouts, they picked ten ... and Belle was one of the ten. What started as a joke is becoming ... well, all too real. Anyway, that's tomorrow.

Finally, don't forget about the amazing, wonderful giveaway ... deadline is midnight on March 8, so make sure you enter (which you can do right HERE).

Ta :-)

Cool Places to Hit on the Interwebs

I love (lovelovelove) reading blogs and sites that are many and varied, that work my mind and touch my heartstrings. Sometimes I connect on a visceral level, sometimes I disagree very much with the content but appreciate the different point of view, sometimes I'm overcome with beauty, and sometimes I appreciate the writing advice.

If I listed every place I visited on a regular basis, this post would be waaaaaaaaaaay too long. Therefore, I'm going to link to and explain a small sampling ... and I plan on doing this regularly to share the love (and thinking ... and beauty ... and so on).

These are places that I find memorable. There are many (many, many, many) other places that will be listed on subsequent posts. Check them out if you get a chance ... thinking is always a good thing :-)

365 Days of Weird Happenings
This is one of the most original sites I've seen in a long time. Anthonyox10 writes about odd things he sees, in life or on the interwebs, and shares with his readers. His take on the world is unique, and he's got a great eye for seeing the unusual. Lots of interesting stuff!

insert witty anecdote [here].
Before Sarah Taylor-Spangenberg became my boss :-), she was my friend (she still is ... LOVE that lady). This is the blog where I found her in my early days here on Blogger, and it's an amazing collection. She's recently started reposting here, and both her newest post and the older stuff there is worth a look.

Zelda Lily
Okay, perhaps I'm a bit biased because I write here, but this site has such a lot of really great stuff. Operating under the assumption that feminism doesn't have to be militant but can be embraced on a modern level through legitimate equality, there's a ton of current events as the commenters and writers alike work toward a definition of what feminism is in 2011. Amazing stuff!

mrs.nesbitt's space
Denise is amazing. Let me just say this--these are the words she puts at the top of her blog, and it explains far better than I could as to what the bottom line of her site is: "The happiest people don't have the best of everything, theyjust make the best of everything they have."

Got any very cool recommendations? Leave links in the comments ... I know that I, for one, would love to find some further cool places to visit and think about : )

Blog Commenting and Awareness of Audience

I have been a writer my entire life, and for most of that time I was blissfully unaware of the concept of audience. I wrote for me. I loved the stories I made up, and so did my friends and family.

When I took Honors and Advanced Placement English classes in high school and even more so when I was getting my undergraduate degree in English, I studied at length the idea of audience. It never transferred into my own writing, hard as that is to believe.

What probably sounds even stranger is that, as a teacher, I have been instructing students on the significance of audience as part of an author's craft for nine years now ... and it wasn't until the past year that it's started to hit home in terms of my own writing.

What taught me that lesson? Blogging.

I don't even remember why I started this blog, to be completely honest with you. It had something to do with how cerebral I was feeling, how I thought I'd reached a place where I found tremendous philosophical opportunities in everyday events and wanted to write them down so I'd remember them.

And then ... then, suddenly, I had followers. It was heady indeed to know that there were people that actually were interested in what little old me had to say. It got really heady, though, when people started leaving comments on my blog. Not only were they following me, not only did they read what I had to say, they were interacting with my text. I had made them think. Eureka!

Since blogging is just another form of writing when you get right down to it--and because most of my "followers" were aspiring writers like myself)--it seemed only natural to gently steer my blog into a "writer's blog". I tried that for a bit, although I realized pretty quickly that there are blogs out there that do the whole "help aspiring writers" thing far better than I.

This realization came at about the same time that my life fell apart, that I learned that my husband was a raging alcohol when I dragged him into the emergency room convinced he'd had a brain embolism or something and learned that what he had was a blood alcohol content of .39. I gave everything I had into saving our marriage, but the end of the road was the day he hit me when I was holding Belle (both Belle and I still have nightmares about that night). Anyway, the girls and I moved in with my mother, and we've been here for almost two years now.

The woman I am today and the wife and mother that wrote the first entries in this blog bear only passing similarities.

What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that this blog has evolved into a very public record of my very private life. There are very few things I have kept off-limits, other than the real names of my children and the events in my life that I wouldn't want to be common knowledge (there are some things ...).

I am very proud of The Philosophy of KLo, and as I sit and think about its long, strange life, what I remember most fondly are the comments. Even after I started writing about the stress of impending divorce instead of how my students analyzed a given quote, people were commenting, sharing their thoughts and ideas, and the fact that my original goal--that of getting conversations to happen on thought-provoking topics--was being met just came to me like a bolt of lightning.

You see, commentors on The Philosophy of KLo are kind. Some of them--Martin of From Sand to Glass, Marvin the Martian from An Alien Mind, J.J. from The World According to J.J. in L.A, to name a few--have been with me for a while now, and they'll give me gentle advice when I need it but also provide their own input and experiences. One in particular does not let me get away with pity parties, and sent me a very kind and supportive e-mail when I was vacillating about going back to my now ex-husband (I still have that e-mail, Marvin the Martian ... it did more good than you will ever know). Essentially, it's been a peaceful, safe, kind, and caring experience for me here.

And then, through the basis of a friendship I made with the inimitable (and incredibly gifted) Sarah Taylor-Spangenberg on this very blog back when she was still on blogger, I got the opportunity to write for a much larger blog than this, a women's issues site called Zelda Lily.

I love everything about writing for Zelda Lily, but the best part by far, as with my own blog, is the comments section.

But it's a different world out there.

When I wrote about rape here, I received unbending support. When I wrote about rape on Zelda Lily, it led to a conversation among commentors about why so many women get away with lying about being rape victims.

When I write about my kids here, it is with a mother's eternal love. The first mention of my older daughter on Zelda Lily was her unexpected existence when I was only seventeen.

When I write about politics here, commentors are respectful even if they disagree with what I'm saying. Over at Zelda Lily, the commentors give me a lot of grief for hating on Sarah Palin.

I could go on, but you probably get where I'm going. I was honestly really upset by some of the Zelda Lily comments at first ... sometimes the commentors really draw blood over there, although they have been much kinder to me lately.

At first I thought it was just because they've gotten used to me, or maybe it's that they don't want to hurt my feelings, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks that it was all in the writing--I had gained an understanding of what my audience was, and so I'd nuanced my writing to meet their needs. And, voila, significantly fewer tears (this is why my book isn't published yet, by the way ... I cry at any serious, negative criticism of my writing--but that's a story for another day).

I don't make (and never have made) any attempt to "find" the audience for this blog, and perhaps that's why it's so much easier to write here. Still, living in the blogging world has really tightened my grasp on audience, an awareness that I'm proud to say is really showing up in my current WIP (work in progress, for you non-writers here).

Yup, it took something as simple as reading blog comments to hone my focus on audience in my own writing. It's crazy, but it's true : ) And please know, I read every comment, I reflect on every comment, and I learn from every comment--both here in my safe zone and at Zelda Lily, where I've had to figure out how to make it safer for myself.

Sunday Stealing: A Fourteen Question Meme That's Making the Rounds ;-)

You do find some odd things out there when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night ... check out "Sunday Stealing" here for a thorough explanation (or to join the fun ;-)).

1. What do you consider your hometown to be?
Dover, New Hampshire. I lived there for most of my life, and I hope to return there sooner rather than later.

2. What’s the hardest part of your average day?
Waking up in the morning. I have extensive fogginess (and a lack of ability to do anything, pretty much) until at least the second cup of coffee. This has been exacerbated lately by the alarm on my new phone, which I can't get to make noise. It just vibrates annoyingly, then the 3/4 asleep me turns it off, and then ... well, yeah, you can see where that goes.

3. The easiest? Why?
Doing Belle's nightly reading with her, an activity that gives both of us a great deal of pleasure. Observing a six-year-old develop as a reader is cool enough, but being part of it? Freaking amazing :-) We have it down to a pretty cool science now ... she'll read a couple of books to me (her teacher sends her home with a "just right" book for her reading level every night or she'll read her library book or grab one from her bookshelf), then I'll read the next section of the chapter book we're working on (it's James and the Giant Peach at the moment).

4. What beverage do you reach for to quench your thirst?
Barq's root beer.

5. What is one not-so-secret goal you have for your life? I’ll let you keep your secret ones to yourself.
To be a published novelist.

6. What physical pain do you fear most? For example, I’m trying to decide how bad my jaw pain needs to get before I risk a potential needle from my dentist. So, for me, throbbing is preferable to jabbing.
I fear pancreatitis pain, which is rather unfortunate since I'm having a pancreatitis flare-up at the moment. I've had root canals, a tonsillectomy, a broken wrist, a ruptured appendix, two childbirth experiences, and a lot of other things I can't think of right now ... but none of them came remotely close to pancreatitis. At all.

7. Where do you find solace?
Writing, reading, or walking on the beach.

8. What makes you the saddest when you read/see the news?
I'm saddened by violence (recently the Steven Spader trial in New Hampshire) and by ignorance (the crazy woman who somehow thinks her husband's suspicious death IN MEXICO reflects on Barack Obama's immigration policy, for example, or the Tea Party).

9. What do you eat for a favorite snack?
Clementine oranges ... or Cheetos lol.

10. What movie could you/would you watch more than two or three times and still enjoy just as much as the first time?
The Star Wars movies. It's a longtime addiction based in childhood that has always been with me.

11. What boy/girl first made you cry?
I'm going to take the easy route here and say my brother was the first boy to make me cry and my sister was the first girl to make me cry. Obviously I'm just pretending that my reading comprehension fails.

12. What brand of coffee/tea do you drink most often?
Dunkin' Donuts. If I don't have my Dunk's coffee every morning, the entire day is a nightmare.

13. Dig in the dirt with or without garden gloves?
Without ... I like the way that dirt feels and the things you notice that you never would if you were wearing gloves.

14. James Taylor or Carly Simon?
James Taylor (although I like Carly Simon too)