Showing posts with label memorial day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memorial day. Show all posts

Monday, May 26, 2014

Recognizing Sacrifice or Eating Cheeseburgers?

Today is Memorial Day, and when I woke up I was happy that Jeff and Ari are home with me today.

Jeff and I had a conversation about a pervasive lack of understanding about Memorial Day and Veterans Day (he explained the difference quite succinctly for him) and I'll be honest, the two days have always sort of blended together for me.

It is disconcerting that Memorial Day is known more for cookouts and barbecues, for a day off from work, for it being okay to wear white (according to my mother, anyway ... I never really got that one), for attending parades, and for going to the cemetery to put flowers on headstones because you only think to do it on Veterans Day and Memorial Day.

My maternal grandfather was one of the first people on the beaches of Normandy on D-Day (he carried equipment) and my paternal grandfather was a member of the Navy stationed in the South Pacific.  Both my father and step-father were in the Army.  Emily's father is in the U.S. Army and has spent a great deal of time in Afghanistan.  Jeff's father was in Vietnam.

My family is historically a military family, yet I didn't really know the difference between the holidays honoring the those who've served in very different ways.

My husband suggested that I write a post about sacrifice, so I am; I'm writing about why it is so hard for most people to appreciate, or even understand, sacrifice directly.

I mean, if people truly understood the sacrifice inherent in Memorial Day, would they be pounding cheeseburgers in white attire chatting with others about what a treat it is to have an extra day off from work or school?

My conclusion is the sacrifice makes people uncomfortable. It's either that or the conclusion that people don't care about fallen military personnel, so I'm going with the discomfort.

I never considered joining the military because I was "college-bound".  The same is true for my brother and, I assume, for Jeff as well.  The Marines actually wanted  my sister for their band (she plays the oboe) and, almost ten years later, wanted Emily for the same reason (she plays the bassoon).  So, yeah, kind of ironic that the two members of my immediate family that have come closest to joining the military had to do with the fact that they play rather obscure musical instruments.

Think about this question: what is the last sacrifice you made?

I'm having a hard time thinking of mine, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with not eating the last Oreo in the package even though I REALLY wanted it because I know Oreos are Ari's favorite.

That's kind of small in the great scheme of things.

I think the concept of sacrifice makes people uncomfortable. We look at people making sacrifices, military personnel or anyone, and it makes us feel kind of small.

I always loved teaching John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men because I could actually get kids thinking about sacrifice and whether it was **spoiler ahead** right or wrong that George shot Lennie before the angry mob could reach him, whether George's action was done out of love for Lennie or to just get himself freed of an albatross around his neck that he couldn't escape.  George made Lennie comfortable and talked to him about their dream farm before shooting him quietly and humanely; if Curley and his mob had gotten to Lennie first, there would have been torture and ugliness.  It doesn't change the fact that George took a human life, and I suspect that George thought about that sacrifice every day for the rest of his life (if he was real and not a character in a work of fiction, of course).

Why do you think sacrifice makes so many people uncomfortable? (Or am I totally off base here?)

NOTE: I actually wrote about the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day back in 2009.  It's a pretty decent piece, so if you want to read it, it's right here.




Monday, May 25, 2009

What is Memorial Day?



Happy Memorial Day : )!

Belle asked me on Friday afternoon, upon ascertaining that we did in fact have a three-day weekend, what Memorial Day was. That I wasn't able to answer her effectively ("It's for the veterans ... no, that's Veterans Day ... uh, it's for people who have served our country." "What does serve our country mean?" "Like, in the army." "What's the army?") bothered me a lot more than I expected. It made me realize how ignorant I am about certain things, things that I should not be so ridiculously ignorant about.

We got flowers to put on the graves of my stepdad, who was stationed in Germany during his time in the U.S. Army, and my maternal grandfather, who was on the Normandy Beach on D-Day. It occurred to me that I don't know where my paternal grandfather (who was also a World War II veteran, serving in the South Pacific) is buried, and that I wish I did so I could bring him flowers too. The whole situation made me want to go crazy and spread flower petals all around the flags decorating the headstones of those who were in the armed forces. I'm very patriotic in my way, and I just wish that I'd taken more time to think about the portent of Memorial Day.

So ...

Memorial Day is celebrated the last Monday of May. It was originally called Decoration Day and was set aside as a day meant to memorialize members of the American armed services who died in active service. Memorial Day dates back to the Civil War, and some traditions include VFW donations for poppies (think of the poem "In Flanders Field"), the Indy 500, a national concert on the lawn of the U.S. Capitol, and family picnics and barbecues. Also, Memorial Day is generally considered the "official" beginning of summer in the same way as Labor Day is considered its end (Thank you, Wikipedia, for the quick history lesson).

The fact that I think of Memorial Day as when the beach house is opened, when my mom makes her first potato salad of the summer, and when I get a much-needed extra day off from work does not make me unusual, I don't think. That I make sure to put flowers honoring some of my relatives who served in the armed forces puts me on par with many Americans, but if you think about it, that's not even the purpose of Memorial Day (not that it's ever wrong to honor your dead, but ...).

Anyway, I'm glad I learned what Memorial Day truly is. I'm kind of embarrassed that I didn't know before, but I guess it's better to do something about your ignorance than to just let it simmer. I'm still not sure how to explain it to Belle, but at least I know how to explain it to me.

I think : )

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