The Prevalence of IM Language: Convenience or Another Sign of Laziness?

I take a lot of heat--a lot of heat--for using punctuation in text messages, Facebook and Twitter updates, and even e-mail. I've come to terms with the fact that commas and semi-colons are never going to be a part of "text talk", though, although I suspect I personally will always use them.

No, the thing that really drives me bananas is stuff like using "u" for "you". Would it really kill you to type an extra two letters? Would it change the course of your life trajectory to press two more keys?

What kind of message does it send (pun not intended, but it made me laugh so I'm leaving it) if you don't value the person you're sending a text to enough to write out a three-letter word?

When I received a text last night reading, "how r u", I did not respond. I just couldn't. It would have been a rant, and that's not nice.

I mean, texting back, "I am annoyed by people too lazy to use capital letters and question marks and to spell out the word 'you'. How are you?" would have been overkill.

I do get the concept of convenience, by the way. Abbreviations are one thing; why would someone take the time to write out et cetera when etc. is a universally accepted abbreviation? Oh, and I use "LOL" all the time, despite Addie telling me that it's become an overused and even outdated expression.

My other pet peeves, just to totally prove how strange I am, involve spelling the abbreviated term of affection honey as "hun", using apostrophes to make words plural, and when people scratch their toenails against their heels (it makes a noise like fingernails on a chalkboard ... *shiver*).

Okay, here's the thing. I'm an English teacher. Of course I'm going to be annoyed by a lack of correct grammar. It's kind of an occupational hazard (although grammar is by no means my specialty as an educator).

When I remove the English teacher anal-retention, though, I'm still left with a feeling of frustration based on the laziness that permeates much of our society. There is a disturbing tendency to find the path of least resistance and follow it, to search out the easiest shortcuts instead of giving life your all.

Okay, take the apostrophe thing, perhaps especially annoying to me since it's one of the few absolute consistencies in the English language.

If you have a singular noun that doesn't end in "s" and you want to show possession, you add 's. The cat's toy. The shoe's lace. The idiot's cell phone. If a singular noun ends in "s", you add an apostrophe after the "s". The glass' contents. Jess' sister. A bus' wheels.

When a plural noun ends in "s", you add an apostrophe after the "s" to show possession. The three sisters' bedroom was messy. The two dogs' water bowl was empty. And if a plural noun does not end in "s", you add 's to show possession. The children's playground. The mice's cages.

Apostrophes are not used to make a word plural--when I see "the lady's are really nice" or "I bought seven book's yesterday", I get very annoyed. While the rules for making a word plural are pretty complicated at times, one thing for sure is that adding an 's is not the way to do it ... yet this happens all the time.

Take the word "tornado", for example. If I want to make it plural, I have to look up in a dictionary whether it would be tornados or tornadoes ... but I know for a fact that it's not tornado's, which is the way many people would spell it.

I'll stop going on about grammar now (if you're still reading this, thank you ;-)).

I guess what frustrates me is the societal laziness exemplified by IM language. It might seem like a small thing, but it's one piece of a much larger problem.

So many people are settling for mediocrity; the concept of self-motivation has narrowed to the point where it's hard to encourage others to put 100% into anything they do ... or, even more frightening, to push yourself toward some sort of excellence when "good enough" is ... well, good enough.

Why I'm Not Thrilled About Fathers Day

I've decided this year that I'm not a fan of Fathers Day, not the least reason of which is that I can't decide if it is a plural or possessive ... or a plural possessive. Anyway, I'm writing it without the apostrophe.

I just called my father to wish him a happy Fathers Day, and it was just a reminder of how peripheral we are to each others' lives. My father knows little to nothing about my life, and I know little to nothing about his. It's not that I don't love him--I do, very much--it's just that ... we don't know each other, we haven't known each other for years, and it's just very awkward.

During the period of time my parents divorced, my father was not at his best (nor was my mother, but that's a different story). For a few years there, my childhood was pretty miserable. There is plenty of blame to go around, and I am well aware of that.

What ended up happening is that my mother ended up meeting and marrying a wonderful, caring, sane, supportive, loving man. I had the best stepfather in the world, and I mean no offense to my father, but my stepdad knew me, my stepdad loved me in spite of my faults instead of throwing it in my face like my mother did or pretending nothing was ever wrong like my father did. I could count on my stepdad to do what he said he would, be where he said he'd be, and so on.

And so, when I hear the word "father", when I look at the dictionary definition, it is my stepfather that fills my mind.

My stepdad died of lung cancer in 2004. My dad came to the visiting hours, and he also played the bagpipes at the funeral when my mom asked him to. I think he was paying homage to the man that had salvaged his children from the brink.

I want to be close to my father, I really do, but I don't know how at this late date. Anyway, the girls and I are going to visit him next weekend, so hopefully that's a step.

Then, of course, there is the complexity of making the holiday meaningful for my daughters.

Belle and I went to lunch with Pythagorus. It was supposed to be a more extensive outing (it didn't last an hour). It wasn't. C'est la vie, I guess, but still really sad.

I don't talk much about Addie's father on here, but in a nutshell, he was my high school boyfriend, I lied to the doctor about not being on birth control when I was getting antibiotics for a sinus infection (my mom was in the room), and I ended up getting pregnant. There have been ups and downs over the years, but I have to give that guy credit.

We had a horrible encounter where I basically begged him to just leave Addie alone--you can't just blow a kid off for half her life and then want her to fly to Tennessee from New Hampshire by herself to visit with essentially a total stranger.

He listened. Although he was in a place where he was prepared to have a relationship with Addie, he understood that he had never been part of her life and it wasn't fair to push himself on her. They talk on the phone. He sends her birthday and Christmas presents. He paid half her car insurance. He sees her every year or two (he's special ops in the military, so he's not exactly just around the corner).

And you know the most powerful part? I have received a Mothers Day card from him every year.

That's classy.

Has Addie called him today? I don't know (I tend to stay out of stuff like that because it's her life and she's old enough to make her own decisions about that kind of thing). I hope she has. I know that I wrote, "Happy Fathers Day!" on his Facebook wall, and I meant it.

Where I'm at right now, all I can think of are how sad father/daughter relationships often are--my own, my daughters' (well, Belle, at least), and all over the world.

I hope that all the fathers out there have a great Fathers Day ... I'll get over myself on this one pretty soon. In fact, just writing all this down has made me feel better :-)