Oh, The Things That You See ...

I try to find humor whenever I can.  Often, that results in sightings (or soundings, I suppose) that I unfortunately forget about sometimes.

Luckily, though, I do manage to capture photographic evidence at times of things in real life that just crack me up.  I figured I'd share some of those pics (and explanations) because ... well, laughter is a valuable commodity.

Enjoy :-)

What about if you're just medium?

I had never seen an extensive array of port-o-potties on a flatbed truck before.  For some reason, it just about killed me ...

 My brother Adam was hiking with my nephew when they came across a crushed empty of a can of beer called a "Natty Daddy".  Needless to say, the name itself had us nearly peeing ourselves.  Adam, being the amazing brother that he is, bought me one (it took quite a bit of searching, though ... and our review is that it tastes like water with a moonshine aftertaste--not that either one of us has ever had moonshine; you could just sort of tell ;-p)

One of my old friends texted me this pic from the San Diego Zoo ... it took me a minute to find what was so funny about it, but we've since decided that the new expression should be "hung like a zebra".

 This is a horrible pic (taken when I was at a stoplight), but there is a red arrow denoting no left turn (which any licensed driver in the U.S. should be able to figure out) ... and apparently that wasn't enough, as there's also a sign saying, "No turn on red arrow".  It made me wonder, are people seriously that stupid that they need a sign to emphasize a common knowledge driving law?

 Henry and I went to a dive bar.  There was a giant hot dog statue.  Enough said ...

 Another one that's hard to see, but we were leaving a restaurant parking lot, and there was a random guy sacked out on a bean bag chair in the woods ("woods" being a relative term, as this is a rather urban area for old New Hampshire).  For some reason, it cracked us up.

 I got an e-mail on my iPhone that read: "CONGRATULATIONS!  Someone may have run a background check on you."  Maybe it's just me, but I don't necessarily see that as something to be congratulated upon ...

 I call this "The Robomney House" as it's a single residence with an equal number of Obama and Romney signs in the yard.  I pulled over to take a picture, but the traffic was heavy so this was the best I could do.  It is sooooooooo funny, though.

Pillow talk?  In the children's section?  Seriously?

 Wisdom (or, uh, something ...) underneath a beer bottle cap.

 I found these disks when I was cleaning out a desk.  Is there ANY purpose for them anymore?

 Belle brought home a coloring page labeled "hens" with a picture of what is clearly a rooster.

 The "hard limits" delineated in Fifty Shades of Grey (reading this series was ... well, a cultural experience for me, I suppose, but I mean, come on ..."

 These t-shirts were sold at the place where I went whitewater rafting in May ... I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry, so I took a picture ;-)

 Ah, Prestone, the stuff that evidently removes bugs AND tar?  Who knew such a phenomenon existed?

 The card companies are going waaaaaaaaaaay downhill, obviously (although, in the name of full disclosure, I was the recipient of this card)

 My students think they're funny ... okay, finding a random human cardboard cutout (wearing a sombrero, no less) sitting at my desk was pretty funny, but ... surreal.

 I'm sorry, but when the receipt says "Open food" and then puts "sweet pot fries" into the category ... well, I was having visions of brownies.  Not THAT kind of vision ...

 This was on a Burger King kid meal box ...

Hope you got a laugh or two ... and a message about the possibilities of finding humor in everyday life if you are willing to look for it :-)

"Come On, Irene": This Was Supposed to Be Funny ;-p

For some reason, the song "Come On, Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners kept coming up on my iPod yesterday.  Like, it was almost ridiculous, sort of like how Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" seems to pop on during the first day of school each year (and periodically throughout the school year).

And naturally, given the current hoopla around formerly-hurricane-now-tropical-storm Irene, my brain kept hearing "Come On, Eileen" as "Come On, Irene".

When I went to bed last night, shortly after watching the simultaneously hysterically funny and really depressing clip of the people gallivanting (and streaking) about during Weather Channel coverage in Virginia, I contemplated how the norms of society have changed.

It took watching people run amok in a hurricane to see it, but the media making every little thing into a big deal and people thinking they can live forever and storm chasers and reality TV and ... 

Wait, this was supposed to be a funny post.

As I was falling asleep last night, I made up in my head a Weird Al-esque version of "Come On, Eileen" entitled, of course, "Come On, Irene".  

It was wicked funny last night (there's my New Hampshah dialect coming out ;-)), but I can only remember bits and pieces of it now (I hate it when that happens).

So use these lyrics to go along with the video below.  It kind of works.  A little ;-)

"Come On, Irene" (inspired by Dexy's Midnight Runners' "Come On, Eileen")

Poor old USA

Feeling beat upon the whole east coast, her shores battered by wind and waves.

One weatherman cried at crazy streakers, and who'd blame him?

Now you've shrunk, much shrunk, now I must say leave already.

Go Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye

and we can pick up broken branches …

Come on, Irene,

I swear (well he means) you have not brought out the best in us,

With you on TV, you’re celebrity, and people are dumb,

Ah, come on Irene.

I’m no shrinking violet, I love adventure

Much as anybody, but you’ve got to respect nature.

And the TV tells us, we’re invincible, we are far too young and clever.

Remember Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye

Irene, why do people think they’ll live forever?

Come on, Irene, I swear, this is strange,

How your advance is  

Showing lots of things …

My yard is a mess, Irene (what a mess!)

The lights, they flickered, Irene, please …

Just go, come on, Irene!

E-mail Exchange Too Funny Not To Share ...

I apologize to my Facebook friends as I've already posted the really funny part of this on there, but I have been unable to stop laughing for about half an hour now ... and that kind of humor doesn't happen all that often, so I had to share.


My ex-husband is not able to drive himself anymore, so it  makes the visitation situation a little complicated.  Getting him to commit to a day, time, and place in writing is a new challenge, and he is evidently reluctant to do that.


He made a vague reference to brunch this Sunday, but I don't think a time window of less than eight in the morning until two in the afternoon is too much to ask for.  Anyway, my desire to be able to plan out Belle and Addie's weekend led to this exchange that is truly too absurd to be made up.


E-mail from Me:
Hi Pythagorus,


Just checking to see if you have a time/place in mind for Sunday yet.  Please let me know when you do.


Thanks,
:-) Katie


E-mail response from Pythagorus:
Hi:


Name of the Restaurant in City of Restaurant at 9 am EST.


Pythagorus


E-mail I considered responding with (but ultimately decided not to ... like I keep saying, that high road's a tough trek sometimes ...):
Hi Pythagorus,


So I'll see you at 6:00 a.m. PDT, 8:00 p.m. ITC (in case I take a jaunt to Bangkok), 4:00 p.m. EAT (or Somalia), 5:30 p.m. AFT (perhaps Afghanistan), 7:00 a.m. CST (Nicaragua), or 3:00 pm CEST (Paris).


Bye--uh, Sawatdi...uh, Nabad gelyo...uh, De kuday pa aman...uh, Adiós...uh, Au revoir,
:-) Katie


I guess it shows how ridiculous this whole situation has gotten ... but at least I'm laughing and not crying now :-)


And I'm glad I, at least, was able to keep my immaturity in check (well, mostly ... I'm getting it out here), because this isn't about Pythagorus and it isn't about me ... it's about Belle.


I wish that he could see that ...

Honoring a Marriage That is Over

Nine years ago today, I got married.  I took marriage very seriously, and I certainly never intended for it to ever end.  As a child of divorce myself, it was vitally important to me that I make the commitment of marriage only if I was 100% sure.

Obviously, things didn't work out the way I'd intended.

Mental illness and alcoholism brought on by stress and long-suppressed memories changed the man that I married--and he was a good man--into an unrecognizable monster.

There are two people in every marriage, and there are two people that contribute to the destruction of one.  I have a boatload of faults, and I do not pretend to have been the perfect wife.  I wish that my ex-husband could have communicated his concerns to me before reaching for the bottle.  I wish that with all my heart, because we had a really good marriage for a very long time.

I will never be sorry that I was married to Pythagorus.  Ever. (And we had an extremely unpleasant phone conversation last night that falls under "bullying" and "verbal assault" as defined by my school and by pretty much anyone with a clear mind, so these words carry greater weight today, as far as I'm concerned, than they would have yesterday at this time)

The most obvious reason that I don't regret my marriage is obviously Belle, a magical, funny, beautiful, intelligent miracle of a child.

But there is a lot more.

The man I married had a wonderful sense of humor.  We spent hours laughing together, sharing stories from our days, discussing current events that crossed into bizarre territory, and finding entertainment everywhere we went.

He was unfailingly kind.  He would give the shirt off his back to a stranger, and I completely mean that.  I watched him, over the course of our marriage, offer assistance to human beings of every age and walk of life, and he did it without expecting anything in return.  I can't remember him ever raising his voice--much less his hand--to me for the lion's share of the years we dated and were married.

Pythagorus was a master at finding random adventures.  We would get into the car and just drive, talking the whole time, and ending up in many different and unexpected locations.  It's a rare person that can find excitement in the seemingly mundane, and Pythagorus was a genius at this.

Pythagorus unquestionably made me a better person.  I was at a very low point in my life when I met him, and his positive attitude and appreciation for things like sunsets on a mountain or flying a kite on a windy day dissipated the bitter, cynical attitude I had adopted toward life.  Many of the good parts of who I am today are because of the love, support, and patience that Pythagorus gave to me.

I do not trust easily, and there were things I never told Pythagorus about my past (in retrospect, I'm relieved, because he's turned into the kind of jerk that would find a way to use some of these things against me), but I did fully believe in him and completely trusted that he would always be there for me just as I intended to always be there for him.

My husband, for all intents and purposes, died several years ago.  It's only recently that I've fully realized that, and I still grieve for him.  I loved him very much, and I still miss him.

However, the man with Pythagorus' face today, the bitter and cynical and mistrustful liar that has taken over his body, is not that man.

Which makes it even worse.

When somebody that you love passes away, the pain is enormous.  Death is the ultimate closure, in a way, because you have to forge ahead with life and figure out a way to live without a loved one.  You can look back fondly, can visit a cemetery, can appreciate the difference someone made in your life and honor that person through words and deeds.

I lost my stepdad and my grandfather, both great men in terms of their families and of the larger world, within a few years of each other.  I loved them both very much, and I miss them every day.  Their legacies live on, though, through memories and stories shared at family events and, yes, through those of us they left behind.      

It is impossible to honor the Pythagorus that exists today.  There is nothing--not one single thing--noble or fine about him.

The fact that he was once a great man makes the cruelty of not being able to honor who he used to be even more difficult.  The face I once loved is still in the world, spitting out lies, bullying, manipulating, endangering the lives of other people, and thriving on mind games.

It makes it difficult to even mourn the man who was my husband, and that just breaks my heart.

But I can still honor our marriage, and so that is what I do today.   

The 30 Day Music Challenge: A Song That Reminds Me Of a Certain Event

For today's installation of The 30 Day Music Challenge, I'm supposed to share a song that reminds me of a certain event.

This is without question too much information, just to give you a heads up.  Feel free to stop reading.

So I had a vaginal prolapse.  It's actually very common (well, so said my gyno) in women that have had children.  I don't know if she was just trying to make me feel better, or if it's a problem so embarrassing that normal people don't talk about it, but I'd never even heard of it until I experienced it.

My little problem is solved now, but I will tell you that it was pretty disgusting for awhile (I'll spare you the details).  I have amazing friends that keep me laughing always ... they started calling me Lola.

Yup, humor is the best medicine, right?  And so this song will always remind me of the vaginal prolapse ... and how fortunate I am to have friends with the ability to find humor in any situation.

The 30 Day Music Challenge: A Song That Makes Me Happy :-)

For the next installment of "The 30 Day Music Challenge", a song that makes me happy. Let me know in the comments if you're up to doing "The 30 Day Music Challenge" so I can be sure to check it out :-)

There are many songs that make me happy. Like a lot of people, music has been a huge part of my life ... in fact, the idea of creating a "life soundtrack" has more than once crossed my mind.

Of course, I guess that's why iTunes has playlists ;)

Anyway, here's one of the many songs that makes me happy ...

I'm in a Meme Mood, so Here's Saturday 9

I've been slacking at blogging of late in large part because of the end-of-the-school-year crunch. Although I've already posted today (a compelling piece on the prevalence of tears at graduations), I'm in the mood to do a meme.

Fortunately, my good bud, Bud, has satiated my need (and kept me from having to wait until tomorrow's Sunday Stealing) by offering his Saturday 9.

Also, it's quite possible that I'm procrastinating writing exams ;-)

1. What is the craziest thing you've done in the last year?
One of the drawbacks to being a teacher is that you can't really get into the crazy stuff you might hypothetically have done in a quasi-public forum. I'll leave out any sort of calisthenics in a two seater sports car out of it and instead go with doing karaoke to Natalie Imbruglia ;-) Of course, the fact that I teach middle school means that my entire life is crazy ...

2. What is something that you've lost recently?
A rough draft analysis essay written by one of my students. Despite my disorganization and the fact that my desk is pretty much a landmark because it's piled high with random papers and such, I take great pride in not losing student work. This is a first, and I'm sick over it (and of course it's a wonderful kid who worked incredibly hard on the essay ... I officially suck).

3. Where does your patience suffer the most?
I hate hypocrites. And liars. And unprofessional jerks. Put the three together into one person, and you'll understand why my hair is going gray this year.

4. Have you ever reread a book?
All the time. Books are magical in that, although the words on the pages don't change a bit, the experience is completely different based on where you are at in your life, the mood you're in when you read it, new background knowledge you've obtained since the last reading, and so on.

5. What is a TV show that you absolutely HATE to miss?
I don't love TV. I can't think of a show I'd hate to miss, but if I had to choose one it'd be NCIS.

6. How old do you wish you were?
I'm actually pretty good with being 34, much as I complain about it at times. I'm old enough to have gained quite a bit of wisdom about how the world works and young enough to enjoy pretty much everything.

7. Do you know your neighbors?
Actually, I don't. I know their cat, though. Grrrrrrr. Seriously, though, the combination of a fair amount of acreage and being located on a busy road isn't conducive to the neighbory kind of thing.

8. Do you believe that opposites attract?
Have I dated people a lot like myself (well, as much as that's possible ;-))? Yes. Have I dated people that could be considered my opposite? Yes. Am I currently single? Yes.

9. Who was the last person that made you laugh?
A very cool person ... and the context is something that is not typically laugh-worthy, so I guess he found out something very odd about me ;-)

Rambles on a June Evening

1.  "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest man."
My school has something called Advisory--it's sort of like homeroom, but it's in the middle of the day and is basically around half an hour of time for small groups of students to interact with an adult in the building, forming bonds that transcend the classroom.


I love my Advisory.  They make me laugh.  A lot.

To wit, we had a birthday party for one of my students last week that was celebrated with brownie sundaes.  The birthday girl wanted to know what I'd do if she sprayed me with whipped cream.

I don't think she expected me to say, "Bring it on."  I also don't think she expected the whipped cream to drip all over my face so that it looked like a ... well, like a seminal incident.  I don't think the kids saw it that way, of course, but they insisted on taking a picture and it was all I could think of, and it made us all laugh so much ... and laughter is sometimes hard to come by.

Enjoy ;-)

2.  There is a direct correlation between Milky Ways and the proverbial "spare tire".

I am a Milky Way addict.  There is no better way to explain it.

However, between the pinched nerve and another medical debacle which I will probably get into at some point, I have become rather sedentary.  The Milky Ways are catching up to me.  

I am not thrilled with the way I look.  That is not a good way to feel.  That's all I have to say about that.

Except that I'm "quitting" Milky Ways ... so please hold me to that!

3.  Sixteen-year-olds are spaceshots.
Well, at least mine is.

Addie was inducted into the French Honor Society tonight, and my mother took her because Belle was up late last night since I had a late meeting, and I wanted to make sure she got to bed at a decent hour.  As I was getting ready to put on my pajamas, I get a text from Addie asking me if I'll go to the store when she gets back to buy her Nutella since they're having a crepe party in French class tomorrow.

As soon as they walk in the door, my mother sees me with  my keys and asks where I'm going.  I explain the Nutella request, and my mother says to Addie, "We drove past two grocery stores on our way home.  Why didn't you say something?"

Furthermore, and I know I've said this here before, but Addie has got to be the only kid in the world who gets her license, is given her own car, and who refuses to do errands.  I can remember bugging my mother all the time right after I got my license.  "You need some milk, don't you, Mom?  Can I go to the store for you?  Want me to put gas in your car?"

Nope, Addie sends her 34-year-old mother out to get Nutella.  Which I couldn't find, by the way (it's next to the Twinkies, in case this ever comes up for you).

4.  I'm not sure how I feel about kids and technology.
Belle had her digital portfolio presentation today.  A selection of her work was scanned into a computer file, complete with audio "reflections". 

That kid might just know how to operate a computer better than I do.  It kind of frightens me.  Furthermore, her school uses Macs and we have PCs at home, so she's got experience with multiple operating systems.  

5.  Please consider this my annual "complaining about the weather" post.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I HATE HOT WEATHER.  When it's cold outside, you can always put on another sweater or throw a blanket over yourself.  When it's sweltering ... well, there's only so much you can take off, and even then you're miserable and sweaty and yucky and ...

Here's the thing that really bugs me, though--people that complain all winter about being cold, then complain all summer about it being hot.

At least I am consistent ;-)

Sunday Stealing: The Team Jeffie Meme

Here's the weekly Sunday Stealing event :-) It's very fun to do, even more fun to read ... let me know in the comments if you do it, since I'd love to read it.

Sunday Stealing: The Team Jeffie Meme

TRUE OR FALSE

Q: Kissed someone on your friends list?
Facebook friends? Quite a few of them, actually. Blogger friends? Not that I know of.

Q: Been arrested?
Technically, no. I did spend a night in a jail cell once. It's kind of a long story ...

Q: Held a snake?
Never ... I am petrified of snakes!!!!!!! I was a pretty fearless kid, and I literally passed out once when climbing a mountain with my family after a snake sneakily slithered out in front of me. **SHIVER**

Q: Been suspended from school?
Haha, yup...I'm a reformed rebel ;-)

Q: Sang karaoke?
When I'm drinking, I've been known to do some embarrassing karaoke ... and one of my friends actually videotaped the last venture (on MY phone, no less lol)

Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
Oh, all the time ...

Q: Laughed until you started crying?
Frequently...I laugh all the time :-)

Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
Yes, and it's always magical (I know that sounds lame, but it's true)

Q: Kissed in the rain?
Yes, and it's also a pretty magical experience. You feel like you're in a movie or something, at least until you get inside and your hair starts to dry and your feet are cold and ... yeah, kissing in the rain itself is pretty amazing as long as you take the aftermath out.

Q: Sang in the shower?
I sing in the shower all the time, usually show tunes or bad '80s music.

Q: Sat on a roof top?
Yup. In the house I grew up in, my mother's bedroom opened onto the roof of our kitchen's addition. I had some good times on that rooftop ;)

Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Been pushed in, jumped, it's all the same ... I see water and I have the urge to be in it.

Q: Broken a bone?
Yup, broke an ankle and a wrist skiing (on separate occasions).

Q: Shaved your head?
Came pretty close once.

Q: Played a prank on someone?
NEVER. (How does one convey sarcasm through typing?)

Q: Shot a gun?
Nope. I hate guns.

Q: Donated Blood?
I used to, but I'm not able to anymore because I received blood transfusions following complications from a surgery.

LAST PERSON...

1. You hung out with?
My momma. She was telling me about her evening, when she went to some awards ceremony and actually ran into one of my best friends there. I'd received a text from my friend several hours earlier basically saying, "I'm partying with your mom tonight".

2. You texted?
My ex-husband. I try, I really do ...

3. You were in a car with?
Belle. We went to Chuck E. Cheese today, where she had a productive run at skee-ball and I, for some reason, had the magic touch on this updated (and much larger) version of that old game Operation.

4. Went to the movies with?
I think it was Belle, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was that we saw.

5. Person you went to shop with?
My mother, when we went to buy a dress for me to wear to chaperone the prom. I might be the only woman alive who hates shopping. I need to have a specific purpose if I'm going to go into a clothing store.

6. You talked on the phone?
A bud of mine; we had a scintillating conversation about the human condition :-)

7. Made you laugh?
My dog Mollie ... she got up on a chair and started turning around in circles (looking for snakes or something), began the process of laying down, then got back up and started running in circles again. It was really pretty funny.

8. You hugged?
Belle

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU...

1. Sang?
Of course :-)

2. Listened to music?
Well, if you consider what's on my iPod to be music, yup :-)

3. Danced Crazy?
Nope ... hindered by the bad back. At least that's my excuse ...

4. Cried?
Yup. People were laughing at an old man who fell in a parking lot. I'm clearly an overly sensitive soul, but the whole situation just made me cry.

FIRSTS .....

1.Who was your first prom (or homecoming) date?
Hmm, I don't think I've talked about him here. I'll call him Jamie, and he is Addie's biological father.

2. Who was your first roommate?
My sister ;-) That was pretty short-lived, though ... I think my parents realized that we'd probably rip the house apart if we weren't separated, so they turned the downstairs den into my brother's bedroom and my sister got moved into his old bedroom.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time?
Boone's Farm Blue Hawaii, I think. It was definitely something Boone's ;-)

4. What was your first job?
Besides babysitting, working at Water Country, a local water/amusement park.

5. What was your first car?
I drove my mom's Jeep Wrangler a lot of the time, but my very own first car was a Buick Skyhawk (it burst into flames when I'd had it for only two weeks or so) which was quickly replaced by a 1992 Suzuki Swift.

6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing?
My paternal grandfather's funeral when I was in seventh grade or so. It was pretty traumatic.

7. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Fortier, and I think I freaked the poor woman out because I'd be reading Stephen King books surreptitiously instead of completing worksheets asking us to color in all of the objects starting with "T" or whatever.

8. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
Florida.

9. When you snuck out of your house for the first time?
Honestly, I never really had to sneak out of my house. After my parents' divorce, my mother was working three jobs and was never home, so we pretty much did what we wanted. After she married my stepdad, the two of them went out a lot and traveled a great deal, and they operated under the assumption that we were "basically good kids", and we were.

Also, my mom and stepdad were really good about letting me go out at all hours to pick up my friends since I did not drink when I was in high school and they knew I was helping out someone who might otherwise try driving home after a night of partying.

10. Who was your first best friend?
Probably my brother. We were very close when we were kids.

11. Who was your first Best Friend in high school?
Since this is an identity-free blog, I'm not going to put their names down. Very cool people, though ;-)

12. Where was your first sleepover?
Probably at my neighbor's house. We were close to the same age and were very close throughout our childhood.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Usually my mother. You know you're single when this is your answer, right? Also, depending on the specifics of the bad day, I'll call certain friends before I'd call my mother.

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsman?
I was a flower girl in my aunt and uncle's wedding when I was five or so and I was my sister's matron of honor.

15. What is the first thing you did when you got up this morning?
Drank coffee. Or peed. Not sure which came first, and it's entirely possible that I peed while drinking coffee. This is clearly too much information, so I'm moving on ...

16. First time you tied your shoe laces?
I haven't a clue.

17. Are you Facebook friends with your first crush?
Actually, I am. Does he know he was my first crush? I doubt it.

18. Who was the first person you met from the blogosphere?
I don't understand the question. I think what you're asking is if I've ever met somebody in person that I've met through blogging, or maybe who is the first "blogosphere buddy" I've made. The answers are no (well, not yet ;-)), and you don't seriously think I remember, do you?

19. What was the first music album that you bought?

This is a great story. I am a middle child, and my siblings and I are the textbook vision of birth order. My brother (who was perfect) would convince me to do things that were totally his idea (and that he, not me, would totally reap the benefits of), and I'd end up in trouble.

For example, you know the Columbia House mail order music catalog membership thing? Yeah, I became an official member when I was six.

Among my purchases were Eddie Murphy's "Raw" and Accept's "Balls to the Wall". I got in deeeeeeeeeeeeeep trouble for that (my mother was so angry about the amount of the bill that she didn't want to hear my actually very logical argument that Adam was the Eddie Murphy fan and that Adam liked the band Accept and that if I'd bought music for myself, I'd have picked stuff I liked).

20. Who was your first celebrity crush?
Technically, Harrison Ford (I didn't realize at that point in my life that Han Solo was not in fact a real person).

Thank you for playing this week on Sunday Stealing! Please leave a comment or link when you have posted. Stop back and visit other player’s posts. That is really what this is all about, making new friends! Have a great week. See you next Sunday!

Sustained by Laughter

I love to laugh. In fact, I think it's safe to say that, in some ways, laughter has saved me. I know a lot of people that become bitter and jaded and cynical when faced with ugliness, and while I've had my moments of feeling that way, I've always been able to search deeply for the humor in a situation and ultimately come out laughing.

During my blogoversary (how do you spell that, anyway?) week, I've been doing a lot of rereading (how fortuitous that it's coincided with school vacation week).

And I found that my blog contains quite a few really hysterically funny life adventures. Since I have a lot more followers now than I did when these were originally written, I figured I'd do some recapping. Definitely check out the original posts if you get a chance (there are links) ... remember, laughter is the world's best medicine :-)

My sister and I had a ridiculously funny Facebook exchange. It involved horse urine and lettuce from a different country. You can find it here.

If laughter is your panacea, teaching is the career for you. Only in education can tampons come up in a conversation about spare tires and the yearly occurrence of 4/20 bring hysterical laughter.

Then there was the night that Belle and I spent hanging with a giant chicken.

And then there was the whole Andy adventure, which was of course a laughter-fueled train wreck. If you haven't read about Andy before on here, he was my best friend for a long time--we reconnected for awhile when I decided that, for my own healing, I had to tell him about the rape. Anyway, we had some great adventures during our reconnected whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-call-it that were incredibly funny, including:
* Going to a Monster Truck show (I'm not what you would call a Monster Truck kind of girl)
* Why I ended up leaving my final divorce court date laughing like a loon.
* I walk into a men's room for a stupid purpose and see a man ... in action.
* The skiing adventure (with video ... my personal favorites are when we got Addie and her friend on the real chairlift when they were snowboarding for the first time or the last one, where you really get a feel for what tools Andy and I are together)

Andy isn't my only funny friend, though. Take BJ, for example, who received a mail order prayer rug and nearly had a nervous breakdown over it.

Hope I was able to brighten up your day a bit :-) ... which did you find to be the most humorous?

Oh, and don't forget about my wonderful, amazing giveaway. Enter now!

The Infamous Promised Meme

Well, my life just gets more and more interesting ;-)  Another pancreatitis flare-up, having surgery on Tuesday, and just in general exhausted and continued overextended.

But I'm here now to post the odd collection of questions put together by my readers ... I had lots of fun with this :-)  Hope you enjoy!

(Oh, and there are some questions that were really not meant to be included here, but I felt inclined to include them anyway, just because they were either an interesting challenge to write about or made me think a lot ... or both)

1. Is there something most people find funny that you absolutely do not? (from David Batista)
Actually, there's quite a bit of stuff that evidently goes over my sense of humor ;)  I know I'm going to take some heat for this one, but I'm kind of lukewarm on Saturday Night Live (yes, even the older ones).  Parts of every show are LOL funny, but I've always wondered how people can sit at home and watch marathons.

Also, I tend not to laugh at the misfortune of others.  I know that sounds kind of "preachy" and I'm definitely not like that and would never judge anyone for finding a guy getting hit in the genitalia by a golf ball funny or chuckling when a baby bird is trying to get out of an egg and gets stuck instead.  A lot of people tend to laugh at those moments.  I don't.

2. What do you find funny that most people don't? (from Jane)
I find humor everywhere and will randomly just break out laughing.  I think it's because my brain connects odd things together, I don't know.  Here's an example.  Belle and I have a tollbooth game we play, where we have to guess the gender of the tollbooth attendant before reaching the booth (this is honestly why I haven't switched over to EZPass like the rest of the world).  She always guesses boy, leaving me with  girl (and there are a lot more men than women at the tollbooth we frequent).  We were driving home the other night after picking Addie up from practice, and Belle shockingly announced that she was "calling" boy and "Mommy, you have girl, and Addie, you have basket."  We got to the tollbooth, and honestly, the person at the tollbooth was so androgynous that I couldn't definitively say which gender it was.  I'm not one to judge somebody on appearances, but I was laughing so hard I cried when, as we drove off, Belle said, "So ... who won?"

Or Addie got hit in the nose with a flag during winterguard rehearsal, and it was pretty ugly.  While at the ER, we nearly lost it over the fact that the doctor's name was (honestly) John Smith.  And there was a drawer containing a label that said "TAMPONS PLEASE SCAN" (yes, I took a picture ... if anyone ever stole my phone, they would think that the owner was completely nuts based on the pics).  Needless to say, I'm surprised Addie and I didn't get kicked out of the hospital for laughing as we tried to figure out what in the world "TAMPONS PLEASE SCAN" might mean.

So I guess I take the time to find life funny, which is a little rare (I honestly don't think many people would notice the little "TAMPONS PLEASE SCAN" label) :-)


3.  If you could go back and do a romantic relationship over, with a different outcome, would you? (from J.J. in L.A.)
No.

This was a hard one, actually.  I went through the whole stupid laundry list and contemplated briefly what I could have done differently and so on, but ultimately I realized that, no matter how hard and unpleasant and oddly twisted some of my romantic relationships have been, they have played a role in shaping who I am today.

And I'm starting to become pretty fond of who I am today.

4. What do you hate being asked? (from Martin Willoughby)
It's funny, I don't really mind being asked anything by complete strangers, but I get really annoyed when some of my relatives want to go on and on about the situation with Pythagorus.  "Why do you think he started drinking, Katie?"  "Can you believe that someone could change so much?" "Do you think he'll ever stop drinking?" "What could you have done differently?" "What is Pythagorus up to these days?"

I do not want to talk about Pythagorus with people that want to have the "before alcoholism" and "after alcoholism" conversation.  It's pointless.  I spent probably a year of my life keeping myself awake with these questions, and to have people ask me them--like, when I make it pretty clear that I do not want to talk about this--really irks me.

5. What is the funniest thing you ever did in front of your class? Was it planned or not? (from septembermom)
This cracked me up because I was voted "Funniest Teacher" in the yearbook superlatives section for this year ... and I never plan to be funny, it evidently just sort of happens.

My mouth has a tendency to work a lot faster than my brain, and my brain at times has a bit of a delay.  As an example, on my first day with a group of ninth graders five or six years ago, we were in a circle talking about the highlight of our summer.  There's an educational philosopher named Harry Wong, and I went on and on about how amazing Harry Wong was and how I wished I could spend more time with him after meeting him briefly and concluding with, "I think it's safe to say that I love Harry Wong" ... and having no idea why the kids were laughing so hard.

Then there was the day I was teaching the plot triangle.  I drew it on the board, talked about exposition, rising action, and climax, then asked, "What comes after the climax?" and an eighth grader raised his hand and said, "A cigarette."

And of course there was the infamous three-legged Romeo incident. I am the worst artist in the world, but visualization is something that kids today struggle with ... they are so used to movie adaptations that I sometimes think they are unable to come up with their own "mind movies".

Anyway, I was teaching Romeo and Juliet and talking about how the balcony scene, which has a reputation for being so romantic and stuff, is really very creepy. I drew Juliet on her balcony and Romeo hiding in the bushes in full peeping Tom mode checking her out, listening to her speak. But I drew Romeo as a stick figure ... and he appeared to have a third leg that could be interpreted a certain way given the context.

I could go on for hours ... something funny happens in my classroom at least once a day :-)

6. Who cares how many pickles Peter picked? (from Bud Weiser, WTIT)
I don't care a bit, as long as he keeps them far away from me ... I hate pickles.

7. Can you allow yourself to believe in love and trust? (from France Rants)
At this point in my life, nope. I hope it changes, though, I honestly do. I truly believe in the whole "happily ever after" dream and wish more than anything that it was a reality in my future. Time will tell, I guess.

8. From where your internal power comes from? (from getyourselfconnected)
I've been knocked to the ground a time or seven through some pretty unspeakable events. I think at some point, you have to make a choice on whether you want to stay on the ground and feel sorry for yourself or if you want to stand up and, yeah, risk getting knocked down again ... but being fully aware of all the beauty and goodness and laughter and living you'll miss out on if you lay "safe" on the ground curled in a fetal position. I did that for awhile, and knowing how amazing life can be has allowed me to get back up.

9. If you HAD to do it, what color would you dye your hair? (from Alleged Author)
I'd probably just dye it the same shade of dark brown it currently is, which might be happening soon because the grays are starting to really creep in. I wouldn't look good blonde or black-haired because of my coloring. I might go with green or purple or bright red as long as it was only temporary.

10. Which deceased author would you want to meet either in heaven or hell? (another one from Martin)
I would love to meet Shakespeare to find out if he really wrote the vast body of literature that is attributed to him. It is work that has brought me a great deal of pleasure as both a student, a teacher, and a human being, so talking about the universality of his works with the bard himself would be cool.

I'd also love to have a sit-down with J.D. Salinger ...

11. If you were on a desert island, would you prefer to have music only or books only? (And another from septembermom)
Wow, that's almost impossible to answer ... probably music, actually, which is surprising me (I made a list, haha). The thing is, books are only accessible when there is light to read by and, even though I'm a proponent of rereading, I personally read so quickly and voraciously that it'd be hard to keep me stocked in reading material on a desert island ... Music tells its own story and can be a constant source of comfort and light.

12. How was your weekend in Vermont? (from Marvin the Martian)
It was pretty fun ... way too much on my mind as a result, but what else is new, right?

I did walk the streets in a blizzard, and it was like being inside of a snow globe ... one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. The company I was with thought I was odd, I think, because I'd forgotten my jacket at home (I'm pretty dumb sometimes) but still wanted to frolic in the snow.

13. Who played Wally on Leave It to Beaver ;-)? (from Mac)

Tony Dow, natch ;-) (I am a fountain of useless information)

Sunday Stealing: The Ace Meme (Part II)

**Note--I started this last night, but I ended up getting sick. I was still sick this morning but, because I'm evidently a masochist, went to work anyway. I came home sick from work today (TMI, but I needed to be in close proximity to a bathroom which isn't feasible in my classroom), so I'm posting it now. I should call it "Monday Mooching" instead of Sunday Stealing ;)
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Okay, so this is Part II of III, and no, I didn't do Part I ;) If you're not on the Sunday Stealing bandwagon, give it a shot ... a lot of fun stuff comes out this way : )

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR HOME COUNTRY?
Only to those non-home countries that are within driving distance since I'm petrified of flying (I'm flying to Florida in April ... there will no doubt be a great deal of posts about my freaking out about this as the month approaches)

35. WEAKNESSES?
Naivete. Impulsivity. Procrastination. Disorganization. Monthly crankiness ;)

37. FIRST JOB?
Water Country, a nearby water park. Great fun : )

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Of course! My brother was the master, and he egged my sister and I on quite a bit ...

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE?
See this post. Jury's out ... I'd like to think so, but I'm starting to feel like I'm cursed or something.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU DID STEALING?
Talking to people on Facebook. I have a pathetic life sometimes.

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Yup, appendectomy, T and A (tonsils and adenoids, you sickos!), and an extensive collection of endoscopy procedures for the dreaded liver/pancreas sitch.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
Eyes, smile, personality ;)

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Yup. Thanks, Mommy :D

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Not sure ...

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND WHAT DO YOU WANT THEIR NAMES TO BE? (OR IF YOU HAVE KIDS, TELL US ABOUT THEM.)
I have two daughters, "Addie" (16) and "Belle" (7). They are funny, sweet, smart, and well-behaved. I have no idea how I got so lucky ...

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yup, a great aunt.

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE SEX(ES) YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?
No teeth. Oral hygiene is pretty key.

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
English class, of course :)

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
I don't know, this weird-sounding shampoo that Addie learned about from my sister. It comes in a green bottle and smells good.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I have bipolar handwriting--the teacher handwriting, which is impeccable, and the everyday handwriting, which is illegible (well, I can read it :-))

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Roast beef.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Many. Too many.

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Nope, not as long as everyone is honest and forthcoming.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Sure, I'm a good time ;)

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
Sure. Kind of a win/win, right? Let me refer you back once again to this post.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Hygiene matters. Health matters. I'm beyond the, "Man, he looks like Orlando Bloom" thing.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I cry, I write, I get grouchy and impatient.

58. WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS?
Lose 58 pounds ... although that probably wouldn't look so great, either ...

59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
For the world to be better, in some small way, because I was here.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
My brother and I had an extensive collection of Star Wars stuff. Good times :)

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Too many :-) And not because I'm cool or anything, just because my phone decided to add the numbers of my Facebook friends without asking me if I wanted it first. So, yeah, if you're my friend on Facebook and I butt-dial you ... sorry ;)

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
Nah, Barney didn't make the scene until I was too old to appreciate his purple majesty.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Neverrrrrrrrrrr :-)

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Mashed potatoes.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A LOVER?
What is this, eHarmony or something?

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Katie (short for Katherine), KLo, K-Loud, Loud, Spencer, K to the Lo. You get some strange names when you teach adolescents for a living ... :-)

67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
Being able to fly with just the aid of a cape would be cool.

Seven Random Facts About Me

I just had the greatest time reading seven random facts about Mrs. Nesbitt. I enjoyed reading her "random facts"(which were actually totally awesome stories and not random facts at all ;)) so much, in fact, that I figured I'd give it a shot myself. I strongly encourage you to check Mrs. Nesbitt's out, too ... oh, and leave a link in the comments if you decide to do this yourself because I love reading these!

1. My desk at work is a landmark.
And not in a good way. It is piled high with ever-shifting piles of papers that end up mixed together in new and unusual ways. If I was a science teacher instead of an English teacher, it would be a great way to teach plate tectonics. Interestingly, though, I have never lost a student's work, a fact that they comment on regularly.

STUDENT: Ms. Loud, I don't understand it. Your desk looks like a tornado went through it, and you never lose our stuff. Ms. Spike has a color-coded filing cabinet with folders for not just each student but each class and loses our work all the time.

I can't explain this to children, of course, but it's the ADHD mind at work. I will always be disorganized ... there's no way around it. However, I operate under the "central location" theory. If every piece of student work goes in a central location (in other words, my desk), I know it's there somewhere ... it might take me a bit to find it amidst the other thousand papers on my desk, but I know it's there.

2. I met my ten-year-old equivalent last week.
I was at another school with several other teachers to observe their reading program and the interventions they had in place for struggling readers so that we could bring it back to our school. One of the other teachers also happens to be one of my best friends, and suffice it to say that we should not be allowed to go on professional development days together ... we laugh entirely too much.

So we're observing a class right after lunch, and everyone's a little bit punchy, but Holly and I are by far the goofiest. There's this one little guy who just cannot sit still. If you've ever seen a caricature of a kid with ADHD, this was it.

And Holly leans over to the other teachers and whispers, "This is what it's like working with Katie", and we all just lost it.

When the kid was sitting backwards in his chair literally hanging off of it, it occurred to me that I sometimes teach in that position, and I tried to stifle the laughter until I looked at my colleagues and saw that they were all cracking up ... they've all seen me teach, after all.

Although I thought this kid was the coolest, it occurred to me that I must at times be very annoying to the people I work with ;)

3. My favorite author is Stephen King.
I am a voracious reader. I've read all the classics, all the chick lit, all the pretty much everything, and nobody can tell a story like King. Nobody can make characters that you care about, that seem quite as real as the ones he creates.

Nobody can make a book about the craft of writing as interesting as his On Writing, which I would make required reading for my students if there weren't budget constrictions.

I am especially obsessed with his seven-book saga The Dark Tower. I'm so obsessed that I made a blog intended to analyze and contemplate the philosophies contained therein (it doesn't get updated very often, though, although I'm working on managing my time better so I can get back to adding to it).

4. I can do a split. It's a great classroom management tool ...

5. I jumped off a moving train once.
My brother, sister, brother-in-law, and myself went to a Red Sox game, but the game ended up being the least interesting part of the day. I don't want to get into detail because I've been trying to do this story justice in writing for years and it just doesn't transfer well (it's a story made for oral storytelling), but it was totally my brother-in-law's fault.

6. My golden retriever, Mollie, is passive aggressive.
Most dogs I've owned are very sweet-tempered. My black lab, Sonja, for example, just kind of goes with the flow, is thrilled to see you when you get home at the end of the day, sits at your feet when you're reading a book, is thrilled when you take her outside to play, and so on.

Mollie is just crazy.

The best example of this, I guess, is her obsession with balls. She always has a ball in her mouth, and when you're inside the house, she'll drop the slimy thing on your lap as if to say, "Throw it, throw it, I want to play fetch!" The logical response to this action, of course, is to pick up the ball, walk outside, and start a rousing game of fetch.

Um ... nope. You throw the ball once and Mollie goes running after it, retrieves it, and comes back to dance around your feet ... and refuses to give you the ball. After you try to pry it out of her mouth a few times to no avail, you give up and go back inside ... at which point, Mollie comes and drops the slimy ball in your lap and the cycle continues.

Even more annoying, though, is when you give her the ball back and say, "No, not gonna do it right now" or something like that. She hides the ball under heavy pieces of furniture and scratches at it until you lift it up, straining back muscles in the process, so she can get the ball ... and, two minutes later, drop the slimy thing in your lap.

7. I laugh a lot.
One of the greatest gifts I've been given is the ability to find humor in pretty much any situation, a skill that both of my parents possess. They passed on some less positive traits, but the laughter that has permeated my life almost balances those out.

I can't even explain how weird my sense of humor is, or even how simple it is when you get right down to it.

Oh, wait for it ... my phone just gave me an example. Like, perhaps the prime example. Every time I get a text message (or a Facebook update), my phone says, "DROID" in a robotic voice. I've had this phone for months now, and I still crack up every time (every single time) it goes off ... and I get a fair amount of texts and Facebook stuff, so it's not like this is a rare occurrence. And it is still just so funny ...

Most people with Droids change the settings pretty quickly, but I'm just far too entertained by my phone talking to me in a robotic voice that I just can't. My friend Holly and I usually sit together during meetings, and when it's getting rather dry, she'll lean over and whisper, "DROID", and we both just lose it (it took me awhile to figure out how to silence it, so for a couple of weeks it went off all day, every day).

Oh, and during the before-Christmas talent show, we hooked my phone up to the sound system because we were playing a song off it for the eighth graders to dance to. In the middle of the song, there's a sudden, "DROID!" It was just hysterical.

So there you have it ... seven random things about me :-)

Unsent

In 1998, Alanis Morissette released the album Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. It was no Jagged Little Pill, to say the least, but I was reminded of the song "Unsent" the other day. As the title suggests, it's a bunch of letters that she never sent. I never really got the concept ... I mean, if you want to send a letter to someone, just send the darn thing, right?

I understand very well now about wanting desperately to send a letter to someone yet knowing that it's not the right thing to do.

And I'm not going to be all, "You have a small penis and are crappy in bed and are an irresponsible, emotionally manipulative liar" because that would just be juvenile, plus it was not the state of mind in which I composed my "unsent letter" in my mind.

Anyway, here we go ...

Dear Rivershitter (that's an affectionate nickname),

I thought of you today for the first time in awhile. I don't miss you, exactly, but this made me realize how much less I laugh now. You were way deep inside my head, deeper than is healthy, but, man, was it great to have somebody around who found life to be as funny as I do.

Remember the crazy cashier that freaked the fuck out when we tried to give him a twenty and seven cents to pay for a $15.93 purchase so we'd get a five back instead of a bunch of ones and a handful of change (I'm off on my denominations and naturally off on my math, but I know you remember)?

Well, I met his twin brother the other night. Well, brother in spirit, anyway.

I'm at the gas station looking for Excedrin Migraine, and it's behind the counter with the girlie magazines and cigarettes and the freaking Sudafed (because we want no meth labs ... NO METH LABS). I say to the guy, "Could I get a pack of Excedrin Migraine, please?", and he reaches back and grabs a thing of Advil. "No, Excedrin Migraine," I repeat, and he comes up with Tylenol Cold and Flu this time.

I've got a pretty bad headache and just want to get rid of it, so I go around the counter and point at the Excedrin Migraine.

And the guy? He freaks the fuck out. He yells, "You can't come back here, ma'am! If you take one step closer, I'll have to press the button. I mean it ... my foot's on it!"

And I wished with all my heart for that one second that you were there with me, because we would have been peeing our pants we'd be laughing so hard. And, of course, we would have had so much fun just tormenting the guy (although there's little doubt in my mind that "the button" would have been pressed and there would have been police there, and that would not have been good).

Anyway, I backed up, put my hands up, and said, "Never mind, I'll go to Rite Aid," and thought of you for awhile and laughed a lot and got my Excedrin Migraine at the drugstore and wished for just a second that I could tell you that story or that you could have lived it ... it was one for the books, let me tell you.

The logical side of my brain says, "See, it's good you don't hang with him anymore because you would have ended up arrested ... or at the very least further emotionally damaged" ... but, God, I miss laughing sometimes.

:-) KL

The Smith Delay

A running joke in one of my classes involves a certain student, Jennifer Smith (*obviously not her real name ... I mean, I use blog pseudonyms for everyone, but just wanted to make clear that I am especially sure to do so when referring to one of my students*).

Jennifer is a great kid, really funny and super-sweet. She is also quite intelligent ... but this is bogged down in what the class now refers to with the utmost affection as "The Smith Delay". To wit:

Student #1: How do you make a tissue dance?

Student #2: You put a little boogie in it.

(Uproarious laughter from the masses ... except for Jennifer)

Jennifer: I don't get it. What's so funny? I don't get it ...

Ms. L: Well, moving on ... Journalism didn't spread in America until just before the American Revolution because there was no real need for it. Newspapers were shipped regularly from England, and--

Jennifer: (Laughs uproariously) Haha, you put a little boogie in it. That's too funny. Haha!!!!!!!!!

Entire Class: The Smith Delay strikes again.

I mean, this happens every day. Well, not that we regularly tell elementary school jokes in class, but you get what I mean. It is just the funniest thing ever. And confession time, I did something really mean today. Jennifer's sister, Emily, came in to ask Jennifer to send a text to their mother at the end of the day. I just couldn't resist ...

Ms. L: Hey, Emily, do you have The Smith Delay?

Emily: (With a confused look on her face) Hunh?

(Entire class laughs uproariously)

Jennifer: That's The Smith Delay.

Emily: I don't get it.

Ms. L: Don't worry, you will in three minutes.

I LOVE MY JOB :-)!!!!!!!!!!!

Why 4/20 is a Great Day to Teach

And no, it's not the obvious reason ... I mean, I would totally pass a drug test at this moment in time. That being said, though, working in a high school makes the day ... interesting, to say the least.

Perhaps the highlight (haha...I said, "High") was when we were having a prom committee meeting in the student lounge. It's a very small room (ideal for the "hotbox" concept, if you're at all familiar with that), and my co-class advisor and I were sitting on the floor with ten or so students (really cream of the crop students, I might add) in a loose circle.


One of the kids looked up at the clock and said, "Hey, the clock stopped at 4:20 on 4/20. How weird is that?"

We just could not stop laughing ... it was too much!

What are some random acts of laughter you've recently experienced :-)?

Let's Share Embarrassing Stories, Shall We ;)?

Since the drama in my life just perpetuates and it's very hard to blog without doing the whole SSDD thing, I feel very negligent. Hence, I'm going to share a recent embarrassing story. It made me laugh when it happened. It's making me laugh right now. I hope it will make you laugh. And I hope you will share an embarrassing/funny story in the comments so we can have a big freaking laughfest.

So ... (And this is an abbreviated version since I'm typing on my BlackBerry, which makes my thumbs hurt)

I was at a restaurant called Big Daddy's with Andy. He was telling me that the walls in the men's room have diamond studs (like the bed of a truck or something, I don't know). Well, it seemed pretty harmless for me to go look and see what the hell he was talking about, so I headed for the latrine.

The door was open. I saw the diamond-studded walls. I also saw a guy standing at the urinal. Yeah, like I said, I SAW this guy. Waaaaaay too much of this guy.

So I go running back to the table, and a bunch of people are saying, "Hey, lady, the girls' room is that way", and what the heck was I supposed to say? "I'm checking out the walls in the men's room?"

So I tell Andy what happened and he's laughing like crazy and I'm, like, magenta. The guy comes over and apologizes. I feel like the biggest ass in the world.

But damn, did that laughter feel fine :)

Coupon Clippings: The Annoying, Endearing Traits of Others

When I came downstairs to have my coffee this fine Sunday morning, my mother was sitting at the dining room table reading the Sunday paper. She reads it in parts, beginning with the Parade magazine, and as she finished gave me each part to read.

She then opened up the coupon section--which she had saved for last, naturally--and went at it with a look of sheer bliss on her face. This was obviously the highlight of the Sunday newspaper experience for my mother, and this is something I will never understand.

My mother has always been a compulsive coupon-clipper. I know there are many people with this pasttime, by the way ... it's just that most of them actually USE the coupons. Not my mother, though. Nope, she clips out coupons for everything from dish soap ("I know I only use Dawn, but this is forty cents off of Joy, which is cheaper anyway") to breakfast bagel bars ("These look disgusting--I wonder what they look like?").

When I cleaned her kitchen the other day, I found a drawer full of coupons dating back to 2003. None of the coupons were for things she would ever use. My mother's scope in terms of purchasing is small--she is very particular about name brands (except for mayonnaise ... for some reason, she will only buy Market Basket mayonnaise, eschewing Hellman's or Cain's relentlessly).

Although part of me rolls my eyes when I see my mother clipping coupons, most of me thinks it's just adorable (I can't think of a better word for it than that). What are some annoying, endearing traits you encounter with your loved ones?

Wild Saturday Nights Don't End When You Have Kids ... They Just End Earlier : )

I just got back from dinner out. I won a rubber chicken from a waitress dressed up as Monica Lewinsky. Yes, I'm serious. No, I'm not drunk. And man, did I have a blast : )

Let me explain ...

A couple of weeks ago, Belle and I had lunch at this

truly amazing restaurant that specializes in chicken wings but has pretty much everything you can imagine on its menu (and reading the menu is an exercise in hilarity itself!). After our delicious meal of "Spongebob Cheesepants" and "The George Michael" (a pulled pork burrito--I'm telling you, READ THE MENU ... you will pee yourself), our waiter very kindly (heh!) mentioned to my five-year-old that, on the nights of the 23rd and 24th, Wild Willy himself (this giant chicken mascot thing) would be present along with a variety of Halloween festivities.

Belle can't remember to brush her teeth without a stern reminder. She's doing well if she's changed her underwear on her own (yes, I check). I'm not confident that she remembers her phone number, but that kid remembered without question that we WOULD be at Wings Your Way on Saturday the 24th. There was no way in hell I was getting out of it. The fact that Addie is at a marching band competition and my mother is at a UNH hockey game with my uncle made it even harder to try to distract Belle long enough to let dinnertime pass. I finally figured that, what I couldn't avoid, I might as well try to enjoy.

And we had a blast : )

First, Belle was given her own pumpkin to decorate.



She had clearly inherited my artistic (in)ability, but it was fun. She was told by the server that she could bring it home or put it on display anywhere in the restaurant, so Belle very seriously said to the server after finishing, "Excuse me, I'd like to put my pumpkin on display, please." It was quite funny : ) I have a good pic of her "on display" pumpkin, by the way, but it shows Belle's real name and that's not how I flow. Suffice it to say, it fits right into this lovely atmosphere of cobwebs and chicken feet painted on the wall:



This was followed by more art,



Dinner (the obvious low point of our evening),



and Worm Pudding, a Halloween treat provided to children in costume--since Belle was in full princess attire, complete with her "royal scepter" (and yes, this is what she refers to the 99 cent wand I got at Rite Aid as), she was clearly covered (although less than impressed with the whole worm pudding thang).



By this point, it was just about time for the evening's highlight: a visit from Wild Willy, the giant chicken. Belle was quite distraught when he started in a different location of the restaurant, watching carefully (and not very patiently) as the guy in the chicken suit made his rounds,



But it was all worth it in the end:



And then I won the rubber chicken, which is a story unto itself, but the point of this post is not to show you how gorgeous Belle is in her Halloween (ahem) finery or even to provide a recommendation to Wings Your Way (located on the New Hampshire seacoast with a satellite restaurant on campus at UNH--don't ask why I know that, and definitely don't ask if I've been there ;)). It's that I was reminded that wild (pun partially intended) and crazy and silly and ridiculous things can happen when you're out with your children. The easy laughter and goofy times don't end when you--ahem--grow up.

It's seven o'clock right now, and not too many years ago, I wouldn't even have been started having fun on a Saturday night. The phrase, "I won a rubber chicken from Monica Lewinsky" would have had a completely different context. Now, I'm in my pajamas while Belle makes Halloween posters of her own invention (okay, she's creative--she just doesn't color in the lines :)) and the dogs have been fed and out and back in and all is right with the world.

I'm going to go read Belle a story now. And give her an extra kiss : )

Isn't it funny when the universe reminds you what's really important?