Repercussions of Rape (Part II)

It is truly amazing to me the response I have gotten from people based on my post Repercussions of Rape (Part I).  So many people have spoken of how courageous I am and how much help it is for people who have experienced sexual assault to read it and know they're not alone.

I am truly humbled by that. Please know that I appreciate the kind notes, Facebook messages, texts, love, and support.

The truth of the matter is, I honestly thought I was over the rape.  I really did.  Like, I didn't think about it, didn't talk about it, only occasionally had nightmares about it.  I even got told by a counselor (originally he was a marriage counselor, but the third time my ex-husband showed up late to the appointment, we realized that marriage counseling was a waste of time but he would happily continue to see me as I felt I had some unresolved issues beyond being emotionally, mentally, and physically tortured by my ex) after spilling the whole rape story that I had great coping mechanisms and there was no real need for me to go back.  He was happy to have me come back if I needed it, insurance would cover it, but there was no real need.

I had no idea that it was consuming my life.

My rape was characterized by someone overpowering me, speaking down to me, telling me I was  nothing, and the guilt associated with my best friend thinking I was sleeping with some other guy in his house when he and I'd had awkward, random, drunken casual sex a few weeks before.

When I encountered a bully, and there are many adult bullies that prey on people they scent weakness in, I would get sweaty, nauseous, clumsy, and my heart would start racing.  I never knew why I had such a visceral response to assholes.

It certainly couldn't be about the rape, right?  A therapist had told me I had great coping mechanisms and a solid support system, that I was just fine.

I do not want to get into specifics here, but just imagine that a person is in a position of power over you in your professional life.  Imagine even further that this person is a bully, a cruel person known for talking about his colleagues (bosses, lateral equals, and peons like me) behind their backs, of laughing at the misfortunes of others, of speaking down to people until they couldn't stand up any longer, telling people they were wrong when this person had no idea what h/she was talking about, and pouring on the guilt by emphasizing how your shortcomings (the ones that s/he had given you) explained why you did a crappy job.

If you had survived my situation, one would think that being bullied by some pathetic loser who epitomizes the Peter Principle would be nothing ... but it wasn't.

So I messed up.  A lot.  It took me forever to do anything at work because I was so anxious, and then it reached a point where it was coming home.

Being beaten down at work every day turned me from a fairly confident woman with many and varied passions (reading, writing, the beach, traveling, spending time with friends) to one who internalized everything.  The dog knocked something off the table?  My fault.  My daughter broke her leg and had to be in a cast because she was screwing around at Hannaford?  My fault.  The washing machine broke? Yup, my fault.

At first these were just feelings, and I tried to keep them from my husband and kids.  After Gabrielle was born, though, it came out in words.  This hypothetical a-hole boss honed the keen blade of self-loathing that went back to 1998, and with the stress of Gabrielle's bloody birth, which was sort of a nightmare, I came to a point where the rape, and its repercussions, nearly killed me.

After the rape, when I washed my hands, there was blood in the sink.  I saw blood in the sink when I washed my hands a month or so ago (and, I mean, I'm an English teacher ... I felt like freaking Lady MacBeth).  I am afraid to take showers, because the shower I took following the rape was when I started to come back to myself, and I was alone and so damn scared.  I will wake up screaming, or I'll jerk awake.  According to my husband, I say the things I said to my rapist when I am asleep, sometimes in a mumble but sometimes nearly yelling.

I am not healed now.  I am in counseling, and I suspect I will be for a long time.  My husband is extremely supportive (except when he's in a bad mood, which is almost never).  I've found some online support groups and even some groups that meet face to face, but the humiliation of someone knowing about the rape makes that medium hard for me.

I guess that makes me posting about it ironic, but the thing is that I am a teacher.  I have had more than one student tell me they were sexually assaulted.  I have heard stories that make my own experience seem very small.

I guess the bottom line is, sexual assault, molestation, rape, whatever word you want to use, they are more common than you might think.  If you are reading this and you feel alone, please know that you are not.

If you are reading this and you are one of my many wonderful friends whom I've blown off, I suspect I've put enough info here for you to figure out why.    

There is a picture that circulates around Facebook from time to time, and I guess that's what I want to end with.

The Education Conundrum--How to Teach Every Kid?

Yes, I'm still out of work ... one more day, according to my recheck yesterday with my primary care doctor.  I'm resting on the couch with my computer (I seem to be okay until I get up and start moving around, so I guess this counts as resting, which is the big word in my recovery ... I mentioned that I'm a failure at resting, right?).

Anyway, I got talking to some friends in the education world (many of my friends are teachers, which I suppose is only natural), and we got talking a lot about the education conundrum--namely, how to teach every student (I will not insult anyone's intelligence or fan flames of government distrust by using the words "no child left behind").

Schools are in different places.  VASTLY different places.  I have to say that, if nothing else, I was pleased to learn how truly cutting edge my school is in a lot of ways.

Anyway, I view education through three lenses--as a former student myself, as a parent, and as a teacher.

My hope with this post is to generate conversation.  Nothing would make me happier than for the comments to fill up, for people to share their thoughts and experiences, and for all of us to do a little thinking, a little learning, a little growing.

And, okay, I want to write a professional article on the state of education today for a national ed journal (I actually have a Master's Degree in education along with a B.A. in English ... I just play dumb sometimes ;-)).

Just to get a little bit of jargon out of the way, I want to give you two words which have significantly impacted my own philosophy of education: Personalized Instruction.

Basically, this is the notion that every effort should be made to make learning accessible to all students.  Obviously, writing a separate curriculum for every single student is patently impossible, but allowing students some voice and choice, trying to make learning interesting and relevant to all students, considering that there are many different ways to demonstrate knowledge ... yeah, it's hard to explain (and also VERY hard to do), but hopefully that makes some sense.

KLO AS A STUDENT
I learned how to read when I was a toddler.  While it sounds impressive, it was actually a huge detriment to the basic foundations of my education.

Why?  Because, while I learned early on how to delve into literature, to lose myself into the magic of a story, I never learned how to read strategically.  If I had no interest in reading something, I wouldn't.  If I was assigned a chapter in a science textbook or a history article or something, I simply couldn't force myself to do it.  I had no skills for how to read something that was difficult for me, and I never learned how to do that until I was a teacher myself.

Between the precocious reading and strong skills in writing I demonstrated at a very early age, I managed to write my way into correct answers for most of my school years.

And math?  Yeah, let's not even go there.  To this day, I cannot add two digit numbers in my head, never mind multiply, divide, or subtract.  I was too busy reading--and reading what I wanted to read, at that.

Because of the way tracking was done at my school, however, I could not take Honors English and Pre-Algebra.  I had to make a choice, and so I ended up in Algebra I with no preparation at all.  Math, which had always been hard for me, became a nightmare--I walked into Algebra I thinking that "X" meant multiply, and it only got worse.

I carried the "laziness" burden around with me for most of my school career.  When I was a high school junior, I finally convinced my mother that I really was trying, and I got evaluated, tested, and diagnosed with two learning disabilities, one in auditory processing ("in one ear and out the other" was the story of my life) and one in spatial awareness (explains why math is such a struggle).

I also learned, as an adult, that I have ADHD, which retrospectively explains why I long struggled with focusing, with completing tasks, with making good choices, and with basically sitting down and shutting up when told.

If my teachers had been trained in personalized instruction, in student-centered learning, school would almost certainly have been a more positive experience for me.    

KLO AS A PARENT
Like all parents, I want my kids to get a good education, to learn lots, and to be successful in school (as measured by things other than report cards and test scores).

Addie is a senior now, and she has always been tracked into high classes.  She's in her second A.P. English class this year, and she just started French V.  .

Addie is extremely bright, but she's also a very lazy student.  She knows how to get by; she learned early and well how to play the game, how to jump through the right hoops.  She's always gotten good grades, but I wonder sometimes how much she's really learned.

The SAT experience was a perfect example of this.  She took the SATs, did slightly above average but not good enough for the schools to which she's applying, so she did a bunch of prep-work, figured out how to raise her scores, and received exceptional numbers when she retook it.

She is also--and I know she'll read this and probably freak out, but it's God's honest truth--an academic snob.  When she is taken out of her Advanced Placement ivory tower, she gets very frustrated with her less book-smart classmates.  The superiority complex she's developed as being one of the "smart kids" has not prepared her for the real world, nor has it given her the skills to teach herself when the going gets tough (as it inevitably will when she starts college).      

Addie's education has been largely what I refer to as "old school"--ability grouping, lots of paper and pencil tests, little opportunity for collaboration with peers, and so on.  I'm pleased with the education she's received (and I'll be proud as heck at graduation that she's going to be among the "chosen ones" wearing the National Honor Society cord), but I'm also aware of its limitations.

Belle's school approaches education very differently.  It's all collaboration, groupwork, projects that might or might not be reflective of a child's efforts (you can read my rant on a recent situation here, if you so desire), and so on.

Belle, who is also a very bright kid, takes great pride in helping out classmates that struggle.  I'm pretty sure she's more computer-literate than I am.  She loves conferencing with her teacher about everything from her writing to the books she's reading.

At Belle's parent/teacher conference a couple of months ago, I got the unmistakable impression that her teacher knows Belle as a learner, is well aware of her strengths and challenge areas.  I have no doubt whatsoever that her teacher (who is absolutely outstanding, by the way) personalizes instruction for Belle and her classmates.  

That being said, I worry that Belle is, at some point, going to hit a wall as well.  As the gaps between "the smart kids" and those that struggle widens, the personalization piece becomes increasingly challenging.

Is it fair to expect Belle to "self-teach" while the teacher focuses on skills she's mastered with the rest of the class? Should Belle have to do the lion's share of the work in group projects?  Is there going to come a point in time when she, like Addie, realizes that it's all about jumping through the right hoops at the right time?

Unlike Addie, Belle is a child absolutely driven by intellectual curiosity, so I'm hoping that she'll manage to avoid those pitfalls.

KLO AS A TEACHER
Personalized instruction has become extremely important to me as a teacher.  Like, it's the driving force of my personal philosophy of pedagogy these days.

I know my students.  I know them very well, their strengths and their challenge areas.  I know the specific ways to motivate each kid (sometimes it's positive reinforcement, sometimes it's the iron fist, sometimes it's calling home, sometimes it's bribery with doughnuts, and so on).  I know what each student is capable of, and I know how to help them set realistic goals for improving their reading and writing skills.

I know which kids freeze up during paper and pencil tests, and I know enough to go over failed assessments orally with them so they can demonstrate that they do in fact know the material being assessed.  I know that, if a student is missing an assignment, I can get him or her to make it up pretty quickly by staying after school with me or eating lunch in my classroom.  I know that, even though my students make fun of me for being lame when I make a big deal over them understanding complex literature, it invokes a sense of pride in them.

It's actually not as impressive as it sounds; I work in an extremely small school, and we are fortunate enough to have very wise district-level administration that arranges for consultants to be brought in to train teachers based on specific need (kind of like personalizing instruction for teachers ... genius, really).  The district admin is also quite gifted in grantwriting, which makes a lot of things possible that wouldn't be otherwise.

The friend that was most frustrated during our recent conversation works in a huge school.  HUGE.  He was distraught because a high percentage of his kids failed the first quiz on a play they are reading aloud as a class.  Each student had a study guide, encouragement to take notes during class discussions, and plenty of opportunity to ask for clarification knowing that an assessment was forthcoming.

"I don't know what else I can do!" he lamented. (there might have been a F-bomb or two thrown in there as well ...)

I probably didn't help much.

I suggested the idea of differentiated assessment (in other words, giving kids a choice of how they want to be assessed on the material).

It's actually not as loosy-goosy as it sounds; if your performance assessments are rigorous, which they should always be, and they are measuring the same thing as a traditional quiz, does it really matter how the students demonstrate the knowledge?

My friend was assessing whether students could identify the characters and major plot points from the first section of a work of literature.  The assessment was matching, fill-in-the-blank, and multiple choice for quotation identification.  While students are given the option to re-take the quiz if they fail, their potential grade caps out at a 70 for a restest.

The reason for this, as texted to me by my friend this morning?

The cap is a result of A.P. parents bitching to the school board about how unfair it is to their kids that someone with "more time" can get the same [grade] as their child, who "did it on time".

As the parent of an A.P. student, I find this appalling.  If I want Addie to be challenged--and I do--then it would be my (and, presumably, her teacher's) expectation that she be held to a different (and definitely higher) standard than a kid that can't read.  That seems like a no-brainer to me.  

According to my friend, every student (not just in his particular section of the class but those taught by other teachers as well ... huge school, remember?) is supposed to do the same assessment for an agreed-upon work of literature.  The same paper and pencil, boring as heck assessment.

The attitude is that standardized tests aren't done that way, so we're not helping them if we don't give uniform assessments.  "Students need to learn to take ALL forms of assessment" is the attitude of the consultant who makes policy.

I gave a recent assignment to my students where they had to write a letter to Romeo or Juliet from the point of view of another character.  The rubric was very specific and, in my opinion, very rigorous.  They had to identify and describe at least three plot points from Act I, they  had to demonstrate their knowledge of a character by taking on his or her persona, and they had to make a judgment as the character on their impressions of Romeo and Juliet's first meeting.

I could have given them a multiple choice test.  I could have said, "Write a summary of Act I".  It accomplished the same objective, after all; I mean, I could tell by the letters if my kiddos understood the play so far.

You know what?  They had a freaking ball writing those letters.  A large number of kids challenged themselves (with absolutely no prompting from me, I might add) by attempting to write their letters in Shakespearean language.  One of them, writing as Mercutio, talked about being very busy with his "interest in Indian opiates" after referencing Mercutio's vision of Queen Mab.

Kids who would have flat out refused to write a standard summary, who would have randomly picked letters on a multiple choice quiz, became engaged in this assignment beyond my wildest dreams.

Now, please don't get the impression that I think I'm the world's greatest teacher.  I'm definitely not.  I have lessons flop all the time, although since I've received training in inquiry-based learning, in increasing student engagement, in allowing students a degree of choice in what they are doing, in looking at bottom line objectives tied to curriculum standards instead of hoping that they'll circle the right multiple choice letter, it happens a lot less often.

So why is the idea of at least exploring this sort of student-centered instruction and assessment so abhorrent to some schools?  According to my friend, it comes down to three letters--SAT.  I'm guessing "NECAP" is in there as well (that's the state standardized test that decides whether or not a school is "failing").

The major problem in this district is that the entire system is built on the idea that every kid should be on a path to college.  Therefore, every kid must be able to do well on the SAT, and therefore they must be able to do that sort of test.

I think it's an even deeper problem than that, though.  I'm totally convinced that half the reason students flub the SAT is that they have never been engaged in school, they have experienced little to no success in school, and so they walk in expecting to bomb the SAT ... and we all know how powerful self-fulfilling prophesies are.

Will a student suddenly do a 180 because he or she experiences success by summarizing the first part of a work of literature in an unorthodox way and subsequently blow the SAT out of the water?  No.  Of course not.

But if students can experience success at school, if they--dare I say it--actually push themselves to go above and beyond merely identifying plot points on a multiple choice test because the assignment is *gasp* kind of fun, I don't see how that can be seen  as anything but positive!

And there is no doubt that, in this day of standardized testing as the be all/end all, we have a responsibility to teach students how to take a test.  It only stands to reason, though, that the likelihood of those "test-taking lessons" going over well increases exponentially when you're dealing with students with some degree of school buy-in.

And that's not going to happen if all they have to look forward to are circling letters (and, just in case anyone's wondering, "B" has been proven to be the most common multiple choice answer ... when in doubt, go with "B").

Please share your thoughts on this very serious crisis in America ... I like to think, learn, and grow as much as anyone :-)

Sunday Stealing: The 20 Questions of Doom Meme

1. Do you believe in Heaven?
II try to, because the alternative (that people just molder in caskets and become worm food) is not a happy thought.

2. Have you ever come close to dying? 
Yup, several times.  Ruptured appendix, internal bleeding following an ERCP, one bout of acute pancreatitis that left me in a medically-induced coma for almost a month.


Oh, and I almost died today at the horror of having to force my child into a nightmarish situation.  Some people should seriously just be shot ...

3. What jewelery do you wear 24/7? Diamond earrings (because otherwise I'd lose them), mother ring


4. Would you ever consider having plastic surgery? Nah ... after all the medical drama I've had to contend with, I'd never get any sort of elective surgery.


5. What do you wear to bed? Pajama pants and a t-shirt.


6. Have you ever done anything illegal? Oh, dear God ...


7. Who was the last person that you touched? 
My little Belle <3


8. Where did you eat last? 
Home.  Hannaford's make these seasoned hamburger patties that are just orgasmic ;-)


9. Besides your own blog, are there any that you routinely read but never comment on? I read so many blogs that it would be impossible to list them all here.  I go through spurts where I have time to comment ... wish it could happen more often.


10. Ever been involved with the police? 
Yup, as both a "criminal" (as one example, I called a cop stupid for telling me I was speeding in a school zone when the sign clearly said "20 when blinking", and besides, it was a Saturday...great lesson in the difference between being right and being smart) and as a victim (as one example, I spent time on the phone with the 911 operator for some time while Pythagorus was on a drunken rampage ... and I was holding Belle at the time ... it was a freaking nightmare)


11. Do you talk in your sleep? 
God, I hope not ;-)


12. Now a celebrity fantasy. Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend? 
I'm not in the mood to think in this direction.  I've had a very bad day :-(


13. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life? 
Yes, absolutely.  I've raised two amazing daughters who anybody would be proud to lay claim to (and in less than ideal circumstances), and I've also been a teacher, mentor, and life coach to a multitude of students.  I'm pretty sure my funeral would be well-attended, and I guess that says a lot.


14. Where do you wish you were? 
I really don't care.  Did I mention that I'm in a foul mood?


15. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Actually, no.


16. Is there any type of dancing that you love to do?
I don't dance.  Well, let me rephrase that ... I can't dance ;-)


17. Last gift you received? 
Belle made me a bunch of stuff for Mother's Day.  I'm allegedly very hard to find gifts for ...


18. Last sport you played? 
Basketball :-)  I'm quite a liability, though, being 5'2" and all.


19. Last place you went on holiday? 
New York City.


20. Current Song? 
I'm not listening to anything right now.  When I'm in a foul mood, I tend to avoid music because I'm one of those people that puts connotations with songs.

Sunday Stealing: "You Can't Be Missed" (Part 3)

Here's the third part to "You Can't Be Missed" Meme. Go, Sunday Stealing :-)


Sunday Stealing: The "You Can't Be Missed" Meme, Part 3

31. What is your absolute favorite dessert?
I love cupcakes (which is a little strange since I don't like cake at all ...) and my mother's apple pie (commence with the jokes, but let me tell you, that stuff is amazing!)

32. What can someone do to make you smile, no matter what?
I was going to put, "I'm pretty easy" but then thought better of it. Regarding smiles, it's true, though. I laugh very easily, and smiling is just a precursor to laughter, right?

33. What do the hip people think of you?
I can't answer a question that uses the word "hip", one of the many reasons being that I now have a certain Huey Lewis song stuck in my head ...

34. What was the last gift you bought someone?
Well, I bought my kids take-out from Applebee's for dinner last night and candy bars the night before (they really are well-nourished ... it's just been one of those lazy weekends), but the last, like, legit gift I bought someone was my mommy for Mother's Day.

35. What was your favorite class in high school?
English is the obvious answer, but actually the best class I took was the second part of American History and Government. The teacher was amazing, plus he was on to me. He was the first person to ever say, "You can't write your way out of this one." He refused to accept one of my research papers because it wasn't "good enough". I pointed out that it was better than a couple of others I'd read, and he agreed ... then said, "It isn't good enough for you." That was a lesson that stayed with me.

36. How many spouses would be about right?
I'd be happy with one, as long as he was normal.

37. What would you say was the most embarrassing moment of your life?
You know, this is a hard one to answer. I'm extremely accident-prone, so walking out of the bathroom with my dress tucked into my underwear or tripping while getting from Point A to Point B is pretty much a daily occurrence. I guess the one that comes to mind is when I fell down the stairs at a friend's wedding. Yes, I had a dress on. Yes, it went flying up. The worst part was that it was right before the ceremony started, so everybody was there, and I couldn't even blame it on alcohol.

38. Have you ever donated money to charity?
Yes, most often in the form of lunch money given to kids who need it or paying for a student to go on a field trip or for them to have a yearbook or something like that.

39. Has porn ever had a positive place in a current or recent relationship?
I am completely ambivalent about porn. It doesn't do much for me, but I don't have a problem with people who are into it.

40. Would you ever dump the one you're with for someone who makes an obvious play and is MUCH hotter?
Not at this stage of my life. Right now, "hot" has ceased to be a deciding factor ... I'd settle for nice and normal ... anybody have any nice single friends ;-)?

41. Have you ever disowned one of your relatives?
Not officially ;-) Seriously, I've gone through times when it was healthier not to talk with certain family members because I've been afraid of what I would say. It's always worked out eventually.

42. Would you think it's OK to cheat on someone if they've already cheated on you?
Cheating is never okay. EVER. If you're a swinger or a polygamist or something, that's a different conversation, but the idea of betraying someone's trust by cheating? Not cool.

43. Did you ever consider becoming a teacher?
Nope, never :-) Actually, I've always wanted to be a writer ... teaching kind of came up when I realized that majoring in English isn't good for much else.

44. Would you ever give a hitch-hiker a ride somewhere?
It's so funny that this question is here since I was just telling someone this story recently. Okay, so I was with my friend Chuck and we were on our way back to college (about an hour and a half on the highway) when the car died. This was before the days of everyone having a cell phone, and we weren't able to reach anybody via pay phone, so ... we started walking.

After a couple of hours, we started walking with our thumbs out. After another hour or so, we made a pact that, if we got picked up, we would thereafter always pick up any hitchhiker we saw. Eventually, someone gave us a ride, and life went on.

A few weeks later, Chuck and I were going somewhere (in my car this time), and we started approaching a hitchhiker. I felt an obligation to fulfill my pact (plus, Chuck was a really big guy), so I pulled over. The guy looked pretty sketchy, and I muttered to Chuck that he looked like he'd just gotten out of jail.

The guy gets in closes the door, tells us where he wants to go, and then says, "Just got out of county," gesturing to the county jail we'd just driven past.

I was torn between trying not to laugh and being scared to death.

Well, it worked out fine and we gave him a ride to the next main road, but Chuck and I agreed to dissolve our pact.

45. Would you ever try fasting for a whole week?
Well, only if there was a very compelling reason. I wouldn't try it just to try it.

Balance: 1/3 + 1/3 + 1/3 = Me

I had an epiphany at a teacher retreat I went to last weekend. It's easy to dismiss it as kind of "touchy feely" (the candle in the center of a circle doesn't help the argument), but it's been a great opportunity for me.

I feel like I've finally gotten to know myself, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Simple. Mathematical, even. I've tried counseling before, both for attempting to get over a major trauma and in an ultimately fruitless effort to save my marriage. Counseling didn't help one iota ... but the teacher retreat just *wham* did it for me.

Suddenly, I realized who I am.

1/3 Mother
This is, of course, the most important part of my life. Addie and Belle are absolutely the joy of my existence, and I strive to always be the best mother I can be for them. I'd say that I do a pretty good job here, and my children get the very best of me.

1/3 Teacher
The part of me that is a teacher is also pretty impressive. I convey knowledge about reading, writing, and thinking to my students. I care about my students, and they know this. I strive to present lessons in interesting, memorable ways that students will remember and carry with them as they (hopefully) become lifelong learners. My goal is that no student will leave my class unarmed in terms of that "lifelong learner" thing, and I think I'm pretty successful there.

And then, of course, there is that final third, the piece of me that allows the other 2/3rds to be so fine and noble.

I have a self-destructive, impulsive, daredevil, utterly ridiculous streak a mile wide accompanied by a devil-may-care attitude that does not show up in my life as a mother or a teacher. I hate these things about myself, absolutely hate them, and for a long time I wanted to destroy this part of me.

But then, in the midst of the "circle of trust", I realized that I would not be the mother I am, would not be the teacher I am, if I was good and calm and so on and so forth in that third part of my life.

When it's just me, myself, and I, I court trouble. I totally do. I flirt with danger. I push the envelope. I'm not proud of it, nor am I happy about it. And I've actually gotten infinitely better over the years, believe it or not.

Oh yeah, one other thing ... that final third of me? That is the writer.

And I'm not sure how I feel about that ...

The Strange Google Searches That Have Led People to My Blog

The internet has opened up endless opportunities for connections between things. Personally, I think this is a good thing. When you get right down to it, thinking and growing is all about making those connections, about realizing how everything you do kind of intersects with everything else into your own unique mosaic.

However, sometimes it's very entertaining. I've been playing around with some of the features on Blogger, and the highlight was unquestionably seeing the Google searches that have led people to my blog.

Evidently, my attempts at finding philosophy in everyday life, of sharing my journeys as a teacher and a writer, of delving deeper than I may have intended to into my personal life ... my blog of which I am very proud ... well, it evidently all boils down to this.

“people who complain about the weather”
Yeah, okay, I talk about complaining about the weather. I even complain about the weather. Evidently more than I knew ;) I certainly wouldn't have picked it as a driving force on this blog, but there you go.

“claudia kishi's mom”
This one comes up in response to a comment posted on a piece I wrote on a local book-banning controversy. Too funny!

“christa mcauliffe technology conference”
This is a big conference for teachers in New Hampshire, actually, and I had the great honor of attending it last year. I still think it's just bizarre how a Google search for this conference ends up at my blog. Wild!

“herb hantz”
This one is really far out. I wrote a post about teachers that make a difference, and there were a lot of comments that gave the name of an inspiring educator. Herb Hantz was one of those so honored in the comments section. Small world ...

“rettop yrrah”
I got the urge to reread the Harry Potter series one day, but I couldn't find the first couple of books to save my life. HP7 was taunting me from the bookshelf, though, so I ended up reading the books in reverse order ... very cool experience. I thought I'd be clever and original by writing "Harry Potter" backwards in the blog title ... hmm, not so much, I guess.

“’apples to apples game’ philosophical”
If you haven't ever played the game Apples to Apples, you really must. I don't know that I'd term it "philosophical", but it's tons of fun.

“dark heart care bears”
So I was watching one of the old Care Bears movies with Belle, and I suddenly realized all the religious references found in the film and felt compelled to write a post about it. Interestingly, these are the search words that most commonly get hits to my blog. It's just ... mind-boggling.

“do you think scarlett o hara is immature for marriage”
I love the character of Scarlett O'Hara in Margaret Mitchell's Gone With the Wind, so it's only natural that I explored her characterization on this blog. Whether or not she's too immature for marriage? Once again, I think Google might have misinterpreted a thing or two here, but it's all good.

I hope you got a laugh or two out of this ... some of the things that led people to this blog really cracked me up :-)

Reading to Children--Why do Some People Not do Something so Vital?

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I'm what could be termed as a bibliophile. What makes someone a reader or not is kind of an interesting train of thought, particularly when you consider that a large percentage of the population that hated reading when in school end up being very involved readers as adults.

However, even more interesting to me (and more disturbing) is the fact that there are so many parents that don't read to their children on a regular basis.

I learned how to read at a very young age, but my parents (my father in particular) read to me anyway. My father spent several hours on some holidays reading Adam, Mary, and I entire books (Roald Dahl's Fantastic Mr. Fox stands out)while my mother got dinner ready and cleaned the house. He also regaled us with tales of Uncle Wiggly from the same worn copy of the book that his own father had read to him as a child. My favorite aunt, AJ, and my favorite uncle, Daniel, always got us books for presents as children (I should probably note that AJ and Daniel are both my father's siblings--I'm learning an awful lot about my father through this post--so I guess that says something about the value of literature in the household my father grew up in).

I started reading to Addie and Belle while they were still in utero, strange as that may sound. Once they were born, of course, I read to them every single day. Reading became a part of their schedules, as necessary as feeding and diaper-changing. Both of my girls love stories, perhaps in large part because they had little choice in the matter.

Belle has a story every night after she gets her jammies on, goes potty, and brushes her teeth. Woe to me if I forget, and woe to the person who has to read to her if I'm unavailable. As a joke, Pythagorus took a picture of Belle and I reading together last night (I deplore getting my picture taken).



While he was laughing about how awful I look in virtually every picture that's ever taken of me, though, it occurred to me how fortunate it was that I have those moments every night to share a variety of literature with my little princess.

I don't read to Addie anymore, of course, but I did for a long time. Even after she was a fairly advanced reader, we'd read chapter books together, alternating turns (I recall Shel Silverstein's Lafcadio, the Lion Who Shot Back and the first Harry Potter book as being special). We do talk about literature all the time, though. This very afternoon, in fact, we had a lengthy discussion about Romeo and Juliet, which I'm currently almost finished teaching to my students and which her class started reading today. We talked about the characters, the language, the double entendres, the significance of Shakespeare's need to appeal to a very broad audience, and whether Willy Shakes was in fact a real guy at all. How remarkable!

Earlier this year, I did an interdisciplinary project with the biology and social studies teacher at my school. As an introduction to the project, I read my students The Lorax by Dr. Seuss. I don't think any more than 3% of them had heard (never mind read) the book before. This made me more sad than I can put into words.

If you are a parent, do you read to your kids? Why or why not? Is it hard to find time to do this? What sort of books do your kids enjoy? Do you think there is a correlation between kids who are read to as children and adults who enjoy reading? If you are not a parent, what are your plans for reading (or not) with your children?

How can we solve this problem (and it is a problem ... I wish desperately that it wasn't, but it is)?

Well, I'm off to read Belle her bedtime story. In case you're interested, she's selected Judith Viorst's Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day for tonight's fare.