Facebook Steroids

I am a self-admitted Facebook addict.  I'm not proud of it, but there you go.  It's kind of hard not to be when you're a writer, as it's a prime opportunity for a poke into the human psyche.  After all, what people choose to post speaks volumes.  

The biggest setback, for me me anyway, is that I struggle with short posts.  I even struggle with short responses.  Therefore, often I say nothing at all.

Today, I am going to write extensive responses to things that come up in my Facebook newsfeed.  I'm thinking that might be some great fodder for conversation ;-)

From my Facebook Newsfeed (sic)

* "Unbelievable.  In this day and age, I was just told I could NOT use special characters in a password.  Fortunately, I don't think there's anything financial on this site."

My personal theory is that some special characters are not readily available on all sites and in all countries (I just found out from Emily that France has a different keyboard than we in the U.S. do.  I guess that makes sense, but it never would have occurred to me on my own until she was complaining about getting used to the American keyboard again.  Anyway, maybe people are doubling up on special character combos (I suppose it's possible that 400 people might put C===3 as a password ;-)) Anyway, good luck.  My passwords are centered around kids, pets, and the number 69.  I am weird.

* Decided this morning I would get serious about losing 10 pounds.  Got to work and was told it was Outdoor Living Safety Day (lots of free, grilled food).  Went outside and got two breakfast burritos consisting almost entirely of delicious, grilled meats.  Off to a great start!

Oh, you know what they say about Murphy's Law, about spitting in the devil's face, and blah blah blah.  First, you are very lucky that you only have ten pounds to get serious about.  I have about 50 more than that, if it gives you any perspective.  It's one day, so hopefully you enjoyed your meaty breakfast burritos (which sound delicious, by the way) and can move forward from here.  I'm more interested in Outdoor Living Safety Day ... I've never heard of it.  Is it just about grilling?  Can you make dandelion wine?  Is the impending rain going to move it indoors (LOL)? Good luck with your ten pounds, and don't beat yourself up too much ... I recommend the MapMyWalk app, by the way; you could conceivably exercise off the calories you took in with your burritos, if you really wanted to.  I wouldn't, though; at this point, I'd just eat a Twinkie and start again tomorrow ;-)

* I want to go back to bed so I don't have to think.

Going back to bed is the worst thing you can do.  It is, however, only a temporary solution (take it from someone who spent a lot of time hiding in bed). I would recommend a walk.  I discovered the joys of walking about a month ago, when I was at something of a rock botttom.  It really clears your mind, and if you walk in different places (nature trails, main roads, the mall), you'll never get bored.  Just don't walk on highways as I'm pretty sure that's illegal.  Beyond that, call or text a friend.  Find a place to watch a movie (I'd recommend a tears-inducing chick flick or a comedy) and eat a bunch of popcorn and talk when you can.  I know you have people in your life that have more to offer than your bed, even if it's just to keep you from thinking.  The person writing this is even one of them :-)

*WHEN are people going to stop sharing Facebook posts that are based on nothing but somebody's desire to rile up all of America's dumbest citizens?  Learn to fact check.

Do you really need me to tell you that the answer is "NEVER"?  Powerful people love the ignorant, largely because they are such a good, loud voice. I know a lot of really good people that have been misinformed about things by people in positions of power and trust.  I don't argue with them, but I shake my head at their ignorance.  Oh, and recently I wrote a blog post about it where I state that homosexuality is neither evil nor a choice, that abortion should be a choice (but not to be used as birth control), and that vaccines do not cause autism, all of which are well-supported stances.  Put another way, I was once married to a statistician.  He told me that, if you ask enough color-blind people, you can statistically prove that the color red does not exist.  So, yes, learn to fact check.  You didn't need my rambling, you got your point across very well <3 br="">

* Stomach is still killing, follow-up with doctor tomorrow.  They said it's stomach flu but from all this stomach pain to the point of can't walk it has to be something else.

The lion's share of my medical issues have been gastrointestinal in nature.  I am currently being worked up for something called Primary Biliary Cirrhosis, which is scary as hell, in addition to my other gastro issues.  They tell me that, my new gastro confesses that my records from Maine Medical Center showed some pretty hard core stuff, and then I go to schedule this test where they are running dye through my bile ducts ... and the soonest they can do it is mid-June.  What the hell, right?  My advice for you is to go to the ER.  They will draw labs then and there and can give you IV pain meds.  Doctors, particularly gastros, are very careful about giving out pain meds for obvious reasons.  I was actually pissed that  my new gastro didn't give me some narcotics at our initial meeting, but my sister and mother helped me understand why that was.  If I was in unspeakable agony right now and walked into the ER, I know that they would a) do blood tests b) see that one of my liver enzymes is elevated off the chart c) give me pain meds and d) direct me to set up an appointment with my gastro.  Hmmmm, now that I think about it, maybe that way I could get that specialized test done before mid-freaking-June.  I hope you feel better soon <3 div="" nbsp="">

Response to my Facebook post about this post collected as I'm writing (above, which reads, "Today I'm going to write extensive responses to things that come up in my Facebook newsfeed for my blog.  I'm thinking they might be some great fodder for conversation.") (sic)

* "Well, I'm glad you're productive, I just read the same paragraph three times in my 'essentials for nursing research' (yawn) book ..... ugh

I'm really not productive at all.  One of my personal goals is to write every day, and I couldn't think of a darn thing to write about, so I'm stealing ideas from other people.  I wish that I had the skill set to become a nurse, but I can imagine that your reading is pretty dry ... Let's face it, any book that starts with 'essentials for' anything just sort of screams, "I'll solve your insomnia problem!"  Good luck!  Take a nap and walk around the block ... that might help you wake up a bit.  It won't make the book any more interesting, though.

Realization of the Day: The World Isn't Made for Single People

I just got home from my surgery, and as you can probably tell, I've lived to tell the tale. Seriously, it went very well and I'm hoping that the ERCP procedure will ease some of the pain. I did get a little goofy when they started talking about "starting the Propofol" and had to bite back Michael Jackson references, but other than the multiple IV attempts, it wasn't bad.

But the whole situation made me realize the disadvantages faced by single people, a thought that, believe it or not, had never really occurred to me before.

When I went to the gastroenterologist on Friday for an office visit following the agonizing and unspeakable physical pain of Wednesday, I knew I would be having an ERCP (I have chronic pancreatitis that has occasional hellish flare-ups). I assumed that it would be scheduled for next week, which would have been great because it's my school's winter break.

Nope. He wanted to get it done sooner than that, so the procedure was scheduled for Tuesday. Which was fine, although I wasn't thrilled about having to miss work. No, the really stressful part came when the check-out receptionist reminded me that I needed to have someone with me after the surgery to drive me home since I'd be loopy from the anesthesia.

This is the first time something like this has come up since I've been divorced, and it was crazy how shocked I was to realize that, when you're married to someone (or even in a serious relationship), you can say, "Hey, I'm scheduled for surgery on Tuesday, need to have someone with me since I can't drive myself home".

I have a very supportive family, but my mother had a very important meeting scheduled at work on Tuesday that she couldn't miss, and my father and his family are on vacation in Florida this week. My brother has a limited amount of sick time that he needs to save for his own family (although, to be honest, I suspect that he would have brought me if I'd called and asked him directly), and my sister lives in Maryland. Addie and Belle are on vacation this week, so Addie could have taken me ... but how fair is it to make her sit in a hospital waiting room for several hours, never mind trying to keep Belle occupied?

I am also blessed with wonderful, amazing, supportive friends. However, the friends that I would be comfortable asking a favor of this magnitude--and having to put up with me both before the procedure (I could not have coffee this morning ... it was not pretty) and afterwards (when I might well be loopy, to say the least)--all work. Most of them, in fact, work in my school. So, yeah, that wasn't really a viable option.

I spent the weekend really stressed out about this. The thing is, it had to be done; it's not like I had the option of pushing it back. I also hate--HATE--to ask for help. Finally, I put up a Facebook post asking if anyone would be near the hospital on Tuesday and be able to bring me home after the surgery.

And I learned that I also have wonderful, amazing, supportive friends (and family--my aunt was willing to drive down from northern Maine to take me if necessary) on Facebook. A number of people offered to help me out, although what came up as a challenge was that I didn't have specific times. Because the surgery was set up after hours on Friday afternoon and the office was closed on Monday, I did not have a start time to work with. This was further complicated by the fact that my gastro wanted an abdominal ultrasound done before the procedure itself, which I also didn't have a time for when I put up my desperate Facebook post.

As it turned out, the abdominal ultrasound was scheduled for 8:15 and the ERCP for 10:30, so there was a lot of sitting around time in between and I would have felt terrible making someone wait for that long at the hospital (I brought a book, so I was happy as a lark).

What ended up happening was that Addie (and Belle) dropped me off at the hospital early this morning then went back home (Addie had never driven home from the city that the hospital is in, so this was a big success for her), and then my mom left work after her important morning meeting to pick me up and bring me home. She also bought me coffee at Dunkin' Donuts on the way home, which was pretty wonderful :-)

It's funny, though ... my mom had to sign off on all the paperwork because I "can't make any major decisions" until the anesthesia has worn off. I felt like I was twelve or something. I'm not the most crazy-private person in the world, but I would have felt really awkward if one of my friends (or even Addie) had to sign off on my medical papers and assume responsibility for me post-surgery. It was bad enough to have my poor mother have to do it.

And then I got thinking about the people who are not as fortunate as I am, who might not have people willing to help them out in a situation like this. Okay, I don't have a husband (or even a boyfriend) to have the assumption of responsibility for this sort of thing, but I have family and friends that were willing to juggle.

A lot of people don't. So what about these people? Do they just say, "Sorry, guess I can't have the surgery because I don't have anyone to drive me home from"? I think that would be horribly humiliating ... trying to explain that my mommy was coming to pick me up was awkward enough.

There were a couple of other interesting observations from today, most notably the pregnancy test debacle. (TMI Warning) I am currently menstruating, ergo I am not pregnant, and yet they still insisted on doing a pregnancy test. Not to be gross, but the freaking urine sample was, like, tinged with menstrual blood (no tampons during surgery ... haha, maybe that's what that crazy label that Addie and I laughed so hard about meant), and they still felt it necessary to test it.

Me: Um, I, like, HAVE my period. Do you really need to do this?
Nurse: Is there any possibility you're pregnant?
Me: I literally have my period. As we speak.
Nurse: Have you had sex in the past month?
Me: (blushing) Um ...
Nurse: If there is any possibility you're pregnant, no matter how small, we have to do the test.
Me: That's fine, I understand, but ...
Nurse: (laughing) I hear you, but it's one of those lawsuit paranoia things.

So I did the test, but I still thought it was awkward and kind of unnecessary.

But discovering the strange and unexpected challenges that impact single people is what really struck me about today ... and made me grateful for the wonderful support system I have in place even as I'm suddenly feeling very sorry for single peeps that are not so lucky.