Kids and the News: Good Idea, In Moderation, or No Freaking Way?

My eight-year-old daughter might just have more of a grasp on what's going on in the world than many adults do.  Or, at least, she's exposed to what's going on more than most.

I am not a morning person.  My weekday morning routine consists of getting jumped on by a black lab and a golden retriever (in that order) at 5:30 or so, letting them out, staggering to the Keurig to turn it on, feeding said dogs, operating the Keurig (usually ... sometimes I forget to put the K-cup in), letting the dogs in, putting Splenda and skim milk into my coffee, letting the dogs out again, urinating, letting the dogs in once again, staggering into the living room and turning on the news, and calling Belle down at six.

She and I snuggle and watch the news for 15-20 minutes.  We're both in half-asleep world.  I never dreamed she actually paid attention.

Belle has been watching the evening news with us since about halfway through last year as well.  She likes to know what's going on.  I'm good with that.

Or I thought I was.

The disaster at Sandy Hook gave me my first pause.  Was this something she really needed to see?  (I should note that my doubts were assuaged when they interviewed a child development expert who broke down the ages of how much to tell kids about ... Belle fell in the "if the parents think they can handle it, let them watch the news", which she totally agreed with)

So the idea has been on my mind a lot lately.

Something odd happened the other night, though ...

Even though I have the news on in the morning and at night, I get the lion's share of my information from reading news sites.  My auditory processing makes "watching" the news a less-than-ideal medium for me, so much of my phone usage is dedicated to reading the news.

Belle's latest obsession is my iPhone, and she's gotten to be downright nosy.  I was reading about the preliminary trial of the Aurora movie theater killer, and all of a sudden, I heard Belle say over my shoulder, "What's a trial?"

Because I am sometimes inarticulate, I drew her a picture.

I explained the whole concept of a trial to her, and then I wondered why I did that.  I wondered if I should have done that.  I wondered if there was any reason for this child to be aware what terrible things transpire in the world.

And I wondered, most of all, if she understood what I was talking about ... and if it will transfer into her increasingly complex thought process.

Oh, and, of course, should children be watching the news?  Is it worth the cans of worms it opens up?  Where is the line between "protection" and "fantasy world"?

I am proud of the connections Belle makes and her really very impressive knowledge, but I am very aware that the news is never a 100% happy experience.

What are your thoughts on this?

When the Media Passes Judgment ...

Part of being human is the capacity for making judgments.  For better or worse, whether it's right or wrong, all human beings judge.  The best among us look at all the facts and don't come to conclusions about other people, social issues, or whatever based solely on emotion.

I am as guilty of making knee-jerk judgments as anybody, and I have a tendency to give more credence to emotion than I perhaps should.  I also have a tendency to never forget a wrong that has been done to those I love.  I can (and do) forgive, but I never forget, and you'd better believe that past history plays a role in how I view a person or a social issue or a given situation.

I think everybody has their own set of rules, their own moral compass, to use a tired old expression.  That's our right and privilege as human beings, and I'd be shocked if any two compasses were 100% synchronized.  I'm good with that.

What bothers me, though, is when we are told what our morals and values should be...and even more so when we, lemming-like, follow those directions without thinking about them for ourselves and applying our own set of beliefs.

And it is especially deplorable when it's the media doing the judging.

This is a picture of Elizabeth "Lizzi" Marriott, a first-year student at the University of New Hampshire.

When Lizzi Marriott was reported missing on a Tuesday in October, New Hampshire's lone news station went crazy reporting on it.  Lizzi's family was making posters, volunteers were searching, she was a "good kid", a marine biology major, a Harry Potter fan, basically the quintessential "girl next door".  Daily updates of the search for Lizzi focused on what a tragedy it was, how her family was holding out hope, the volunteer turnout to look for her.

On Friday night, police began searching the waters off of Peirce Island in Portsmouth.  The heroics of the rescue team, the fact that evidence had in fact been discovered and was being acted upon, and, yes, the continued tragedy of Lizzi's absence were all over the news.

On Saturday, October 13th, 30-year-old Seth Mazzaglia was arrested and charged with second-degree murder.  New Hampshire news venues once again exploded; after all, now there was a clear-cut "bad guy".  Mazzaglia was described as an odd duck, a loner, a martial arts experts, a man with a college degree in theatre (and the media took pains to find and quote people as saying a pretty crappy actor).

Rumbles of a Fifty Shades of Grey-esque encounter gone terribly wrong began to circulate, although good old WMUR didn't report on this.  Instead, they quickly tapered off coverage of Lizzi Marriott over the course of a few days, briefly mentioning that the search continued for her body but essentially eliminating any coverage of Lizzi as a person.

If you wanted details on the sexual bondage aspects of the case, you could find them on national sites, but New Hampshire's media had pretty much washed its hands of Lizzi Marriott...and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to deduce that someone made a decision that her participation in what many would consider a deviant sex act placed some of the blame for her death on Lizzi's own shoulders.  

Does the fact that Lizzi Marriott was "either strangled or suffocated" by Seth Mazzaglia when S&M sex went too far change the fact that her death was a tragedy?  Does it make her any less dead?  Does her family feel any less pain?

Apparently the "murder victim" line blurs when the saga twists in a direction that will raise the "morals and values" hackles on the necks of some viewers.

Better to just let Lizzi Marriott disappear into the woodwork.

And that is the media passing silent judgment on Lizzi Marriott, which is terribly wrong.

On Christmas Eve, 19-year-old Kat McDonough was arrested on charges connected to Lizzi Marriott's disappearance.  Gone were the personal anecdotes about the young woman who'd volunteered with marine animals and was loved by friends and family in her hometown.

Instead, WMUR's reference to Lizzi Marriott was formal and technical.

A second arrest has been made in the disappearance and death of a University of New Hampshire student.
Michael A. Delaney, New Hampshire attorney general, Dover Police Chief Anthony F. Colarusso Jr., and Col. Robert C. Quinn of the New Hampshire State Police made the announcement on Monday. The officials said that Kathryn McDonough, 19, of Portsmouth, was arrested Monday and charged with two felony counts in connection with the disappearance and death of Elizabeth "Lizzi" Marriott, 19, whose body has not been found.

If you're interested in the basic details, Kat McDonough was evidently dating Seth Mazzaglia.  She and Lizzi Marriott worked together at a nearby Target store and were friends.  Lizzi had plans with McDonough the night she disappeared, and we can infer that those plans involved sexual activity that was more likely than not a bondage-based ménage a trois where something went terribly wrong.

We know that a young woman died when she'd barely had time to experience and enjoy life as an adult.

If you want to judge Lizzi Marriott's sex life, that is your prerogative.  After all, when you put the facts of this sad story into the matrix of your own moral compass, you'll more likely than not feel a little bit differently than if Lizzi had, say, been savagely stabbed by a stranger while walking to class.

What is not okay with me, though, is how the media coverage passed its own judgment.  It is their job to report the news, the facts.  If news outlets had matter-of-factly reported on Lizzi Marriott's disappearance in a hands-off manner from the start and continued in this vein as less-than-savory details emerged, that would be one thing.

What they did, though, is put her into the hearts of viewers initially.  We heard wonderful, personal, touching anecdotes about Lizzi Marriott as a person, as a volunteer, as a hardworking college student.  That angle disappeared as suddenly and shockingly as Lizzi herself, though, when it came to light that she had evidently made a choice to participate in a potentially deadly activity.

And that is just wrong.

Passing judgment is something human beings will always do, no matter what.  However, in the case of Lizzi Marriott, the media took away the rights of viewers to think about what happened and apply it to their own sliding scale of morality.  It skewed our perception of a young woman, first by putting her on a pedestal as "Girl Next Door of the Year, 2012" and then by coldly and callously knocking it away because she let a guy tie her up and choke her during sex.

This post is not about my opinions on Lizzi Marriott and the circumstances leading to her death, although I should probably mention that my older daughter is a college freshman, which makes the young woman more personally accessible to me than she might be to others.      

Instead, it is about the concept of passing judgment.  Do you agree that it's an integral part of being human, or am I way off base there?  What elements should be involved in judgments you make, even if you never say them aloud to anyone?  And does the media have the right to push the morals and values of its parent company when allegedly reporting news?

I'm curious to see what people think about this one ...   

"Come On, Irene": This Was Supposed to Be Funny ;-p

For some reason, the song "Come On, Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners kept coming up on my iPod yesterday.  Like, it was almost ridiculous, sort of like how Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" seems to pop on during the first day of school each year (and periodically throughout the school year).

And naturally, given the current hoopla around formerly-hurricane-now-tropical-storm Irene, my brain kept hearing "Come On, Eileen" as "Come On, Irene".

When I went to bed last night, shortly after watching the simultaneously hysterically funny and really depressing clip of the people gallivanting (and streaking) about during Weather Channel coverage in Virginia, I contemplated how the norms of society have changed.

It took watching people run amok in a hurricane to see it, but the media making every little thing into a big deal and people thinking they can live forever and storm chasers and reality TV and ... 

Wait, this was supposed to be a funny post.

As I was falling asleep last night, I made up in my head a Weird Al-esque version of "Come On, Eileen" entitled, of course, "Come On, Irene".  

It was wicked funny last night (there's my New Hampshah dialect coming out ;-)), but I can only remember bits and pieces of it now (I hate it when that happens).

So use these lyrics to go along with the video below.  It kind of works.  A little ;-)

"Come On, Irene" (inspired by Dexy's Midnight Runners' "Come On, Eileen")

Poor old USA

Feeling beat upon the whole east coast, her shores battered by wind and waves.

One weatherman cried at crazy streakers, and who'd blame him?

Now you've shrunk, much shrunk, now I must say leave already.

Go Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye

and we can pick up broken branches …

Come on, Irene,

I swear (well he means) you have not brought out the best in us,

With you on TV, you’re celebrity, and people are dumb,

Ah, come on Irene.

I’m no shrinking violet, I love adventure

Much as anybody, but you’ve got to respect nature.

And the TV tells us, we’re invincible, we are far too young and clever.

Remember Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye

Irene, why do people think they’ll live forever?

Come on, Irene, I swear, this is strange,

How your advance is  

Showing lots of things …

My yard is a mess, Irene (what a mess!)

The lights, they flickered, Irene, please …

Just go, come on, Irene!

Oinking Away at the Media

Okay, so what's your take on the swine flu pandemic? This "health emergency"? I ask because I'm completely disgusted with the media coverage and the huge amount of misinformation.

I spent last week home with H1N1. I felt like crap and was very scared at how high my fever got a couple of times and was blown away by how tired and sore your body can feel when you've done nothing more strenuous than lift a remote control (yes, I was too sick to read for much of the week--and for me, that's SICK).

It was pretty yucky, but when push comes to shove, it was just the flu. It wasn't much different than other times I had the flu. Now, granted, I did get on Tamiflu the first day I showed symptoms...but by the same token, I also ended up with an early case of pneumonia as a side effect of the pig thing, so I think I'm fairly representative.

Why all the media hoopla? Is it warrented? And even more importantly, why is there so much misinformation out there--and why do people believe it?

Your Thoughts on Sarah Palin

I sort of famously looked down on Sarah Palin during the election. My opinion of her has not changed since (if anything, it's gone lower), but it does seem interesting to me that so many people who once championed her are now brushing her name aside as thought she wasn't at one point within votes of being the vice-president of the United States. For a woman to accomplish this (and I know she wasn't the first, but it's still noteworthy, scary as that is in this day and age)is a remarkable thing, and I have to give Palin props for that.

If you found Sarah Palin distasteful, please explain why. If you were a supporter, please explain why. Also, if you were at one time a supporter of Palin, please explain why or why not this may have changed (with you or with people that you know).

I'm extremely curious to see where this one ends up ... me and my random curiosity : )