Friday Fragments: The Weekly Catch-Up

Thank you once again, Mrs. 4444, for giving me the opportunity to do a fragmentary post catching up on the things that have gone on this week.  If you're a blogger and don't "frag", definitely consider it.  Visit Half-Past Kissin' Time to link up.

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I got to see both of my nephews on Sunday, which is a rarity.

My brother lives about an hour away, but he just recently moved into a new house and has been busy with that, plus he and his girlfriend work all week, so weekends are pretty much their only time together.  They brought Pete down for a day at the beach, though, and it was as always great to see them.

My sister and brother-in-law spent some time at their cabin in Maine last week, and they stopped in on their way back to Maryland.  It was wonderful to see them all, especially my nephew Eddie.  They only stopped in for a minute because they had to get the rental car back, but Eddie and Belle had a great time playing together.

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I was so proud of my girls this week!

Belle has been desperately wanting to have a lemonade stand, and we've been putting her off.  After attending day camp at the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) last week (she wants to be either a vet, a scientist, or a lion tamer when she grows up), though, Belle decided that she wanted to donate the proceeds of a lemonade stand to the SPCA.  

It was hard to say no to that ...

And I was very proud of Addie, who joined right in to help her sister out.

It's comforting to know that your kids really do get the moral lessons you try to teach them ...

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Since my ex-husband fell into the toilet of alcoholism and irresponsibility, this week has been a tough one, considering that August 4 was the day we got married.  I still try to focus on the positives, but sometimes it's really difficult.

This is especially true when he gets it into his head to call and make me feel badly about how little he gets to see Belle (as though this is my fault), and I want to scream at him, "You're trying to make this about YOU, you SOB, and it's not about you at all ... it's about Belle and what's best for her.  Well, at least it should be!"

I was as polite as I could possibly be, and I asked that future correspondence of this nature be done through e-mail.

That stupid high road is a tough climb sometimes ...

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Addie started marching band rehearsals this week.  When she left, there was a severe thunderstorm warning, and she had to drive through one heck of a storm.  

Although Addie doesn't mind thunderstorms (in fact, she actually enjoys them, something she certainly didn't get from me), she is still a very cautious driver.  

I was really impressed that she drove slowly and calmly.  I would have pulled into a gas station, hid in the bathroom, and cried until it was over.  

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Belle learned to swim!

You might think that, growing up on the ocean, my kids would be strong swimmers ... but they're not.  

They have water awareness and know how to go underwater and to respect the tides and such, but actual swimming isn't something that inherently comes with ocean water.

Anyway, Belle was invited to a birthday party at a local outdoor pool.  As soon as she saw the water slides (and the lines of kids going down them), she asked me to teach her to swim (the water slides empty into 12-foot-deep water, and you have to swim a fair amount to get to the ladder or even the side of the pool)

She asked me to teach her how to swim and, after about half an hour, I felt she was a good enough swimmer to try the water slides.  She was a superstar!

Belle's the one flying off the blue slide here.

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Summer school ended yesterday.  While I always enjoy teaching summer school, it is exhausting beyond words.  

I have three days to enjoy the summer, then I have a conference all next week, a two-day conference the week after that, and Addie and I are going up to UVM to visit the campus as soon as I get back from that one.  

What summer ;-)?

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The summer of the dentist continues ...

Both girls went to the dentist this week, Addie to get an old filling replaced and Belle to get a cavity filled.  

Addie hates the dentist (well, not the dentist personally, just the idea of dentists in general), but Belle as always viewed it as an adventure ... and a chance to show off her truly unique personality ;-)

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I've done a lot of reflecting this week, particularly about focusing on the positives.  When you have blessings like this, how can you not?

Realization of the Day: The World Isn't Made for Single People

I just got home from my surgery, and as you can probably tell, I've lived to tell the tale. Seriously, it went very well and I'm hoping that the ERCP procedure will ease some of the pain. I did get a little goofy when they started talking about "starting the Propofol" and had to bite back Michael Jackson references, but other than the multiple IV attempts, it wasn't bad.

But the whole situation made me realize the disadvantages faced by single people, a thought that, believe it or not, had never really occurred to me before.

When I went to the gastroenterologist on Friday for an office visit following the agonizing and unspeakable physical pain of Wednesday, I knew I would be having an ERCP (I have chronic pancreatitis that has occasional hellish flare-ups). I assumed that it would be scheduled for next week, which would have been great because it's my school's winter break.

Nope. He wanted to get it done sooner than that, so the procedure was scheduled for Tuesday. Which was fine, although I wasn't thrilled about having to miss work. No, the really stressful part came when the check-out receptionist reminded me that I needed to have someone with me after the surgery to drive me home since I'd be loopy from the anesthesia.

This is the first time something like this has come up since I've been divorced, and it was crazy how shocked I was to realize that, when you're married to someone (or even in a serious relationship), you can say, "Hey, I'm scheduled for surgery on Tuesday, need to have someone with me since I can't drive myself home".

I have a very supportive family, but my mother had a very important meeting scheduled at work on Tuesday that she couldn't miss, and my father and his family are on vacation in Florida this week. My brother has a limited amount of sick time that he needs to save for his own family (although, to be honest, I suspect that he would have brought me if I'd called and asked him directly), and my sister lives in Maryland. Addie and Belle are on vacation this week, so Addie could have taken me ... but how fair is it to make her sit in a hospital waiting room for several hours, never mind trying to keep Belle occupied?

I am also blessed with wonderful, amazing, supportive friends. However, the friends that I would be comfortable asking a favor of this magnitude--and having to put up with me both before the procedure (I could not have coffee this morning ... it was not pretty) and afterwards (when I might well be loopy, to say the least)--all work. Most of them, in fact, work in my school. So, yeah, that wasn't really a viable option.

I spent the weekend really stressed out about this. The thing is, it had to be done; it's not like I had the option of pushing it back. I also hate--HATE--to ask for help. Finally, I put up a Facebook post asking if anyone would be near the hospital on Tuesday and be able to bring me home after the surgery.

And I learned that I also have wonderful, amazing, supportive friends (and family--my aunt was willing to drive down from northern Maine to take me if necessary) on Facebook. A number of people offered to help me out, although what came up as a challenge was that I didn't have specific times. Because the surgery was set up after hours on Friday afternoon and the office was closed on Monday, I did not have a start time to work with. This was further complicated by the fact that my gastro wanted an abdominal ultrasound done before the procedure itself, which I also didn't have a time for when I put up my desperate Facebook post.

As it turned out, the abdominal ultrasound was scheduled for 8:15 and the ERCP for 10:30, so there was a lot of sitting around time in between and I would have felt terrible making someone wait for that long at the hospital (I brought a book, so I was happy as a lark).

What ended up happening was that Addie (and Belle) dropped me off at the hospital early this morning then went back home (Addie had never driven home from the city that the hospital is in, so this was a big success for her), and then my mom left work after her important morning meeting to pick me up and bring me home. She also bought me coffee at Dunkin' Donuts on the way home, which was pretty wonderful :-)

It's funny, though ... my mom had to sign off on all the paperwork because I "can't make any major decisions" until the anesthesia has worn off. I felt like I was twelve or something. I'm not the most crazy-private person in the world, but I would have felt really awkward if one of my friends (or even Addie) had to sign off on my medical papers and assume responsibility for me post-surgery. It was bad enough to have my poor mother have to do it.

And then I got thinking about the people who are not as fortunate as I am, who might not have people willing to help them out in a situation like this. Okay, I don't have a husband (or even a boyfriend) to have the assumption of responsibility for this sort of thing, but I have family and friends that were willing to juggle.

A lot of people don't. So what about these people? Do they just say, "Sorry, guess I can't have the surgery because I don't have anyone to drive me home from"? I think that would be horribly humiliating ... trying to explain that my mommy was coming to pick me up was awkward enough.

There were a couple of other interesting observations from today, most notably the pregnancy test debacle. (TMI Warning) I am currently menstruating, ergo I am not pregnant, and yet they still insisted on doing a pregnancy test. Not to be gross, but the freaking urine sample was, like, tinged with menstrual blood (no tampons during surgery ... haha, maybe that's what that crazy label that Addie and I laughed so hard about meant), and they still felt it necessary to test it.

Me: Um, I, like, HAVE my period. Do you really need to do this?
Nurse: Is there any possibility you're pregnant?
Me: I literally have my period. As we speak.
Nurse: Have you had sex in the past month?
Me: (blushing) Um ...
Nurse: If there is any possibility you're pregnant, no matter how small, we have to do the test.
Me: That's fine, I understand, but ...
Nurse: (laughing) I hear you, but it's one of those lawsuit paranoia things.

So I did the test, but I still thought it was awkward and kind of unnecessary.

But discovering the strange and unexpected challenges that impact single people is what really struck me about today ... and made me grateful for the wonderful support system I have in place even as I'm suddenly feeling very sorry for single peeps that are not so lucky.

Happiness Is: An Annotated Photo Journal

When I was cleaning the pictures out of my Droid, it struck me how powerful photographs are. A visual image can take you back to a moment, and you can in a way almost relive it. Amazing!

Anyway, since I'm not always good about posting visuals here, I thought I'd share some pics along with a written ramble or two. Hope you enjoy : )



Belle is cooking here. Addie got her a cooking set for Christmas--measuring cups, cookbook, and of course the infamous hat. Needless to say, she loves it.



Addie hates to get her picture taken. Like, deplores it. I always feel kind of bad, because I have hundreds of Belle pics (she's something of a ham ...) and very few of Addie. This was taken on Thanksgiving--the girls, my mom, and I went to see "Harry Potter 7 Part I" then out to dinner. Addie let me take a picture of her, for which I was very thankful.



One of my students writes uplifting messages on my whiteboard every day. It sounds very small, but it makes me incredibly happy : )



Did I mention that Belle's a ham? Yeah, that's what I thought ...




My dogs are the coolest. That's all.



The girls in front of the Christmas tree. I love pictures of the two of them together because it's so obvious how much they love each other. They are nine years apart in age, but I have met very few sisters as legitimately close as Addie and Belle are.



And speaking of sisters, this is mine. She is a college professor (she got the brains in the family) and lives way too far away. We are only two years apart in age, so we had the kind of love/hate relationship growing up that is really an incredibly close friendship when you put it in perspective.



One of my favorite roles in life is auntie, and I absolutely adore my two nephews more than words can say. Oddly enough, they are only two months apart. This is my brother's baby, my brother, my brother-in-law, and his and my sister's baby. <3




My mother is cutting Belle's birthday cake here. It was so important to her that Belle have a wonderful birthday, so she pulled out all the stops. Love my momma!



Belle reading the note that Santa brought her. Guess what it said? That Santa decided not to bring her the Harry Potter Lego set she wanted because he knew how much Mommy wanted to give it to her for her birthday in January. The stores were all sold out of the thing ... I think it was kind of a stroke of genius ;)



I am blessed to have an amazing classroom paraprofessional (also known as teacher's aide, educational assistant, or all around lifesaver). On this day, Belle had a teacher's workshop at school and I didn't know about it until the night before (should probably look at those school calendars ...), so I had to bring her to school with me. My para, Ginger (she's a dancer and an absolute joy to be around), read a book with Belle at one point.




I know there are a lot of jokes about Mom's apple pie these days, but can I just say that my mother makes the best apple pie ever?




And, finally, the beach. It is where I go when I am happy, when I am sad, when I have something on my mind, and when I want to get some sort of zen balance.

It's also where I realize, as I do at this moment, how very lucky I am!

Finding the Best in Four Christmases

I had four Christmases this year. Considering I wasn't expecting to have one (or at least to enjoy one), this was certainly promising. Most important, of course, was that I realized how fortunate I am for the family and friends I have in my life.

So, my four Christmases ...

1. Christmas Eve at my Dad's House.
We always have Christmas Eve at my dad's house. Before he and my mom were divorced, we went to my grandparents' house (my dad's parents) for Christmas Eve. That side of the family has just always owned Christmas Eve. We got to hang out with my dad, stepmother, and my half-sister and half-brother. My dad is a Christmas maniac (there are Christmas decorations up at his house all year long), but as you can imagine, he really goes all out for the big day. There was music and food and family and all those nice Christmas feelings. The only negative was I learned that my dad is having surgery, and I am of course very worried. The surgery is tomorrow, so hopefully that goes well. My dad is a well-intentioned, intelligent, humorous, kind man, and he has certainly changed the world for the better.

2. Christmas Morning at my Mom's House.
Ah, another tradition--Christmas brunch at my mom's house. Addie, Belle, and I were already here, of course, and my sister Mary, brother-in-law (I can't remember the name I've given him on this blog, so I'm renaming him: it's Harrison), and their six-month-old son Eddie were here as well. We woke up, did stockings, then waited for my brother Adam and his eight-month-old baby, Pete, to arrive. At that point, we did presents and ate brunch and just in general hung out. Mary, Harrison, and Eddie left for a three hour drive to Connecticut to be with Harrison's family (they're coming back on Wednesday and will be here until Sunday), then Pete got very fussy (he's teething), so I made a Walgreen's run for Infant Tylenol. It was very low-key. It was the oddest, quietest, most depressing Christmas my family has ever had ... and I'm not even sure why.

3. Dinner at a Chinese Restaurant with Pythagorus.
Yes, I'm serious. Frankly, I'm just glad that Pythagorus wanted to see Belle on Christmas since she would have been devestated if he'd blown her off. Addie didn't come, by the way, since she adamantly refuses to see Pythagorus--this is of course her prerogative, but I don't want anyone to be like, "What about your other child?" Since he is not comfortable at my mom's house and I am not welcome at his family's house--er, his family's trailer--because they are a bunch of Jerry Springer-esque whack jobs who somehow feel that Pythagorus' severe drinking problem is my fault and that, now that he has returned to the bosom of his family, he will be just fine as long as he never sees me--and, by proxy, Belle--again (I swear, I will write a book about that family one day. I will have to call it fiction, though, because nobody would believe the ugly, tawdry, trashy truths). Anyway, we ate Chinese food and opened presents and laughed about how awkward it was. The good thing is, we all laughed--we were on the same wavelength, which doesn't always happen. To me, that was the best Christmas present Pythagorus could have given me.

4. Playdate at Andy's.
Since I had to bring Pythagorus home (an hour and twenty minute venture), Andy asked if Belle and I wanted to stop in at his house afterwards (his house is about a quarter of the way home for me after I drop Pythagorus off) since his little girl Dawn wanted to have a playdate (and possibly a sleepover) with Belle. We did end up staying over at Andy's, although that was not my initial plan (fortunately I brought my toothbrush--I'm resourceful like that ;)). The girls had a ball playing games, creating "haunted houses" in Dawn's room, and telling silly jokes to each other. Andy and I watched a couple of movies (if you haven't seen Meet the Fockers, you must ... it is freaking hysterical!) and played cards. He'd made Bailey's Irish Cream fudge, and it was freaking amazing, and also heated up spiced nuts; all of that was far better than popcorn. Anyway, it was a peaceful, fun night that reminded me that friendship is just as valuable as family.

So yeah, that was my Christmas in a nutshell. It was a very simple and laid-back event. I've decided, I'm either going to cut loose for New Years Eve and walk around a big city with underwear on my head drinking from communal bottles of champagne (yes, that's an inside joke) or I'm going to sit at home with my mother and the girls and watch the ball drop on television.

Or maybe I'll find some kind of happy medium ... the way things went this Christmas, I'm starting to think that happy mediums are the way to go : )

The First Artificial Tree

Well, we finally got the Christmas tree put up this weekend and, for the first time, it's an artificial tree.

Christmas used to be a very special time for my family. However, between my stepdad dying two days before Christmas and now trying not to think about past Christmases when Pythagorus was with me, I am a hard-core Scrooge this year. I'm a freaking Grinch!

But Belle really wanted a Christmas tree, so my mother got an artificial tree. It's a very nice artificial tree, but it's still an artificial tree. I think we need to get a pine candle or something, I don't know ... something's missing.

Perhaps what's missing is the adventure. Pythagorus and I spent more than one happy weekend day in December over the years going and cutting a tree. It would not be the same without him (not to mention that I would probably cut my finger off with the saw or something).

Anyway, what do you think? Do you go real or artificial?

Thankful

In my effort to be positive in a very negative point in my life, here is a list of five things I am thankful for (and a short explanation of why). I have been thinking about posting this all day, and it's been very good for me to concentrate on all the good things in my life. I am very lucky, actually, and it's very important that I stop sometimes and remember that. If you feel compelled to do the same, leave a link in the comments : )

I am thankful for ...

1. MY DAUGHTERS. Addie and Belle make every single day bright for me. They are both sweet, kind, intelligent, beautiful young ladies. Both are also extremely humorous (often untentionally, which makes it all the better). For example, Addie started freaking out this afternoon because Facebook went down for about two minutes and she was all worked up because she needed to fertilize eggplants on Farmville or something. She called up her friends to see if Facebook was down for them as well, and it was just like a bad teenager movie. My mother kept saying, "She could be selling drugs. She could be selling drugs." Freaking surreal! And Belle? Well, one of her recent lines was, "Addie's the tallest, Mimi's the oldest, and Mommy's the fattest." Yeah, it was a laugh riot :)

2. MY JOB. I have the distinct pleasure of actually enjoying what I do. My profession's forefathers were named Jesus Christ and Socrates. I touch the lives of children every day; it's an awesome responsibility but so rewarding at the same time. I told my students once that reading a book then sitting around talking about it was like some sort of heaven to me--I sometimes can't believe they pay me to do it. My students think I'm a little weird ;)

3. MY FRIENDS. I recently reconnected with my best friend Andy. It's very strange being friends with him as an adult. The days of doing 151 shots then throwing up all over the bar and just getting in a car and driving are gone (well, mostly ;)), but it's amazing how much there still is to talk about, how much he still understands me. I have other great friends also--you know who you are!!!!!!!!!!!--but I mention Andy in particular because ... well, it's kind of complicated and a very long story (which is actually on this blog somewhere, but I can't find the link and frankly don't want to dredge it all back up), but it's just so cool how you can go years without seeing someone and have it be like you'd just said goodbye the night before. Weird.

4. MY FAMILY. My family is as dysfunctional as anyone's. However, when push comes to shove, they are there for you. Also, even if most people in my family don't say it (except me--I'm big on "I love you"s), there is love. I've just learned in the past six months how rare that is, so I'm very grateful that my family loves each other, even if they don't know how to say or show it. Or not be dysfunctional. But it's all good : ) And my dogs are family!

5. MY MISTAKES. You learn a heck of a lot more from mistakes than you do from being perfect all the time. I've made many mistakes--many, many, many, MANY mistakes--and I've learned from all of them (not always the first time, but eventually). In general, I like myself very much now. I used to hate myself. I find it remarkable that making mistakes made me a more likeable person (at least to myself). Does that make any sense?

Oh, and I'm thankful for everyone reading this post right now. I would write anyway--to me, writing is like breathing--but that you take the time to come to my blog, to read what I have to say, and to respond if the topic strikes you ... it is very humbling to me that anybody gives a rat's derriere what I write on my blog. So those are my words of the night--humble ... and grateful : )

Feeling Like a Scrub

Clearly, I have not kept up with my writing goals. Not posting on this blog every day is the least of it. The W in my WIP has not had any P in quite some time. Although I like to pretend that I can balance the three tiers of my life--mother, writer, teacher--it is just not always possible.

Teaching is always a challenge after April vacation, like pulling teeth after Memorial Day, and ... yeah, it's kind of sucking my energy supply dry. I wish that, like Eragon, I could store energy in an inanimate object to be kept on my person for times of need.

I have the added stress of trying to complete a final issue of the school newspaper for the year. I don't know why I didn't start focusing more directly on it earlier. I have no idea why my procrastination takes over and screws with my common sense. I don't know why I ignore the voice that says, "You might want to get cracking on that. You don't want the first week of June to come, and ..."

Well, friends and neighbors, it's the first week of June.

We've also had some serious family issues going on. Things are moving in a positive direction, but they're moving slowly. It's kind of hard to be upbeat, to be strong, to focus on the good.

Suffice it to say, my writing's in the backseat at the moment. I'm not happy about that--it's a place I've never before shoved my writing, in fact, which bothers me more than I care to admit--but it is what it is for the moment.

The time stamp on blogger.com is crazy, but it's 10:08 p.m. at my humble abode right now. The fact that, much as I'd love to crawl into my Sealy Posture-Pedic and fall asleep, I decided to post this rambling and probably incoherent ... whatever the heck this is ... hopefully is a way of me saying to myself, "Get back on track with your writing, stupid. Get back on track."

Pulling Weight in the Family Unit

I don't write a lot about Addie on this blog, not because she isn't beyond amazing but because she is extremely private and sensitive about me talking and/or writing about her. She becomes irate, for example, when I talk about her to my students ... so the notion of writing about her on a public blog is sort of flirting with certain revenge.

I have to, though. She is just that remarkable (I'm not putting a picture of her here, though ... she might well kill me, plus it would embarrass her). Anyway, Addie isn't her real name, so I guess that lends her enough anonymity. Well, hopefully.

Basically, Belle has been sick this week. She hasn't been able to attend day care this week, and Pythagorus and I have taken a lot of time off this week (not a good time of year for either of us to miss work). Addie has today off from school (her district has a teacher workshop day), and when I asked her if she would babysit Belle, she was happy to do so. She didn't complain or whine or discuss her preference to sleep in, like every other fourteen-year-old in her grade no doubt did.

I've talked to her once, and we've been in e-mail contact (she's been e-mailing me links to attire from those annoyingly expensive mall stores that she'd like for spring), but I'm just touched again by how responsible and willing to pull her weight in the family she is.

I won't brag about her all honors classes and writing prodigy status and musical talent and how just beautiful she is (okay, I guess I just did) for right now ... Addie is without a doubt one of the kindest-hearted people I know. I have so much respect for her. I am so proud of her.

If you read this, Addie, know how much I love you and how much you are appreciated.